Rob Schneider thinks he matters

I normally stay away from the more dirty tabloid side of entertainment, but I feel the need to speak on this. We've all heard about Mel Gibson's recent controversy and how it has shocked a lot of people. How much it will really affect his career is debatable, but Rob Schneider's obvious use of the incident as an obvious publicity stunt to puff up his non-existent importance is just hilarious. Never work with Mel Gibson? Yeah, I'm sure Schneider is at the top of Mel's list for his next film. They were all set up to film Deuce Bigalow 3 before this whole debacle. And what really makes this pathetic? He paid for a full page ad in Variety to get his opinion out. You know, most of the time, when celebrity scandals happen, it's not hard to for other celebrities to voice their opinions for free on all the various interview and talk shows and magazines. Rob Schneider paying for an ad in some trade paper pretty much confirms what everybody knows: NOBODY GIVES A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU THINK, ROB! AND NOBODY EVER WILL!

Moving on, I saw a few movies this weekend. Little Miss Sunshine, which was pretty standard fare for an indie film about a quirky family, but the performances help keep it fairly amusing. Talladega Nights, which was all right, but had a lot of moments where it dragged, and I didn't really find Sasha Cohen as a gay Frenchman all that funny (not too mention they completely wasted Andy Richter in a throwaway role his his husband). And finally, I also saw The Descent. Mainly because of the good buzz and critical praise, even if it is a horror film. Unfortuantely, it falls into the pitfalls of all horror films-Cheap scares, bad acting, thin plot and worst of all-NOT SCARY! I think I just have to admit to myself at this point that I can't enjoy really serious horror films and just stick to more campy ones like Slither.

Got a halfway decent PC? Then you owe it to yourself to download the demo for Lego Star Wars II on Monday. I'm not suggesting you join fileplanet or anything, but the demo is supposedly free for non-subscribers as well and It'll be a good way to get an early taste of what should be one of the most enjoyable games of the year.

And that's all for now, so here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Prehistoric

The Need for Speed.

I loathe NASCAR. It's an idiotic redneck sport where the only exciting thing that ever happens is the crashes. That being said, I'm very hopeful about this weekend's only release even worth mentioning: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Granted, Will Ferrel's star has dimmed a bit with several really bad movies in the last year, but the previews look incredibly funny, and what really got my hyped was this brilliant short:



If they can keep up that level of humour, it should be easily one of the better comedies out this year (not that there's really been much competition). But honestly, this is more like one of those VH1 awesomely bad specials.

What are Mario's greatest moments? 1up thinks it knows the ten best ones. But honestly. this is more like Mario's 10 most awesomely bad moments, with things like Mario Ice Capades (with Jason Bateman & Alyssa Milano no less) & Mario Opera.

All right, that's all I really have for today, but I'll certainly be back sometime on Sunday.

Nintendo, savior of the adventure genre?

We can certainly hope. It's an interesting idea. I'd love to see a resurgence of old school point & click Sierra games. Especially if it resulted in all new chapters of faves like King's Quest or Space Quest.

So, while E3 isn't going to be completely cancelled, the huge carnival atmosphere of years past is gone. Now it will be more like a real trade show, and as much as gamers are probably bitching and moaning, journalists and gaming companies are doing an enthusiastic dance of joy. E3 is a massive headache fiscally and logisitcally all around and with game development budgets skyrocketing in the last few years, this was a much needed cutback.


What are the greatest comedies ever? Premiere thinks it knows, and while some on there defintiely deserve a spot (Some Like it Hot is still one of the top ten comedies ever), and any list that leaves out Spaceballs, South Park & Dumb & Dumber is pretty much completely invalid in my book.


Got a couple of fun photoshop links for you today; first up, what if video game characters became actors? Somethingawful has the answer. All of these are fairly brilliant, and may in fact have been better than the original.

And then there's games that will never be made. At least we hope, but with game companies being strecthed to the brink on terms of creativity, I wouldn't put it past anybody to release DDR Madonna or Fast Food Manger...

All right, that's really all for today, and here's your SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

It's as if millions of geeks suddenly cried out in terror...

E3 IS DEAD?!?. It's not completely official, but expect an announcement that E3 will be massively scaled down if not outright canceled. Certainly a disheartening announcement for us gamers, as it's what we look forward to most each year (and really the only show worth paying attention to most years). But, as far as affecting the industry itself, I don't think it will be that big a deal. The really big companies will probably just put more money into their annual shows that already exist, and there will probably just be a few more small shows added into the calendar for the smaller companies. Hell, odds are some other new show will just take its place (though possibly not for a couple more years). Still it's hard to imagine that gamers won't be getting in a big frenzy every May any more.

So I did end up seeing Miami Vice, and I enjoyed it. The plot was hard to follow, but the fairly kickass shootouts splintered throughout the film made it worthwhile. I'd still like to see one that's much closer to what the show was like, though.


All right, that's it for today, but here your SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Pac Man is more than half violent

64% to be exact, according to recent senate hearings. Just how fucking insane are politicians? Pac-Man? The game where all you do is gobble up pellets and eat the occasional ghosts? How could PAC-MAN possibly be considered the least bit violent? I am just truly speechless at the out of touch jackasses that run this country. Is it any wonder nobody even bothers to vote anymore?

Moving on to a slightly more amusing topic, how much does G4 suck? They went from a promising channel for gamers by gamers to some low rent version of Spike or MTV, just desperately trying to grab a piece of the coveted young male demo. Now, a writer at Gamerag undertook the arduous job of actually watching 24 hours of this tripe and chronicled his painful experience. Just a guy expressing his opinion of the content on the channel (which any gamer worth their controller would share). But somebody at G4 took great offense to someone calling them out for being a horribly unwatchable network. The response was petty and filled with inaccuries, so obviously it was one of the higher-ups at the network. Gamerag's response? A very amusing "apology ". Thanks G4, I apologize for ever being stupid enough to watch you horribly shitty channel. I'll make sure never to make that mistake again.

Ok, lot's of movies opening this weekend, so I'll just do a brief rundown of each:

John Tucker Must Die: If you aren't some vapid tween female and are at this movie, you should be shot. I'm pretty sure the vapid females who actually go see this movie should be shot too. Good way of thinning out the herd.

The Ant Bully: What makes this not a complete and utter ripoff of Antz or the far superior Bug's Life? There's a human involved this time! Seriously, this is tired as hell material, even for a kids movie.

Scoop: Woody Allen, Scarlett Johannsen. I hate Woody Allen, and Scarlett Johannsen's not quite enough to drag me to another one of his painfully unfunny comedies. Seriously, the guy peaked with Annie Hall, and it's been 30 years of pure mediocrity since then.

Miami Vice: This is Miami Vice? It looks nothing like the show. Granted, that could work in our favor, but I sure as hell wouldn't mind seeing a cheesy campy overblown big screen version of the influential tv show. Otherwise, this is just Bad Boys with an Irish dude pretending to be an American dude, even if Michael Mann is the guy behind it (and one should note he was the executive producer of the original show, so we he would make the movie so drastically different is beyond me).

And finally, Little Miss Sunshine: This little indie comedy seems to easily be the best choice this week, but good luck finding it, as it's in limited release (I can't find a single theatre in the Seattle area that is carrying it). Steve Carrell as a suicidal gay uncle? Sounds like fun for the whole family!

That's it for today, so here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: KITTEN CANNON

The same thing we do every night, Pinky

Ok, sorry for the lateness but I sorta got hooked on this little anime called Bleach this week, and basically spent the last few days watching episodes. It's quite easy when every episode released for a show so far is all in one convenient website (i.e.:Bleach Portal) to get caught up in it. I'm planning on doing the same with Full Metal Alchemistt pretty soon, just need to give my eyes a break from staring at the screen for hours on end.

I did take time out for complete vegetation to go see Clerks II, and it was pretty entertaining. The performances were pretty bad aside from Rosario Dawson and the dude who plays Randal, but the all the jokes are spot on, and it's a fun film that wraps up the story of these two losers nicely. Any fan of Smith's should really enjoy this one.

Finally, Since it's technically Monday as i write this, I'd like to plug two very great DVD releases that are out tomorrow-Animaniacs & Pinky & The Brain Vol 1. These are both absolutely brilliant animated shows that manage to be fun for kids and adults, unlike most of the painful crap that is on today for kids. I'm going to leave you of today with a few examples of their brilliance:














FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Z BALL

No Laughing Matter

So, after much rumor and speculation, it appears the Heath Ledger is almost a virtual lock for the role of the Joker in the next Batman film. It's certainly an interesting choice, and Ledger is an excellent actor, but it seems an odd one when there a guys who would more easily slip into the role like Crispin Glover or Jim Carrey or even Robin Williams (and especially given what a great job Nicholson did in the 1989 film). But I trust Nolan wouldn't give Ledger the role without good reason, so hopefully he'll do the role justice.

Ok, onto this weekend's movies. Monster House is the latest animated family fare, and while the critical buzz is actually pretty good, it just seems incredibly dull to me. The animation looks flat and uninspired, and it didn't look the least bit entertaining in the trailers.

Then there's My Super Ex-girlfriend, which features an interesting twist on the romantic comedy genre, as no film has really explored exactly what it would be like if you broke up with a girlfriend who was psychotic and had super powers. Ivan Reitman, Luke Wilson & Uma Thurman sound like a winning combination, so I'm definitely intrigued by this one.

And we also have M. Night Shamalawayadingdong's latest piece of utter and total crap that will make no sense and have nonsensical plot twists-Lady in the Water. I have absolutely no interest in seeing anything this complete and utter hack does ever. I pretty much consider him in the same league as Uwe Boll at this point. He's squandered any hint of credibility with his last two films and odds are this will only lower his stock. (I seriously hope those rumors about him directing the next Potter film are completely unfounded).

Finally, the movie I'm most excited for-Kevin Smith's return to what he knows best, Clerks II. Now granted, this seems a really unnecessary sequel, but Smith is totally in his element here, and word is any fan of his work will thoroughly enjoy this trip back to the ViewAskew universe, which I certainly am.

And last but not least, the teaser for the CG Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been released. I was initially against the whole CG thing, but after seeing this, I think it's looks pretty damn promising.

Why the PS3 will Succeed

I know it seems like my blog has had a motto of “Sony sucks!” lately, but the fact is Sony has had nothing but bad press ever since their rather unimpressive E3 showing. Does Sony stand a chance this holiday season with their high price and seemingly arrogant attitude? They most definitely do, and here’s why:

1. The name you know: For seven straight years, Sony has dominated the best brand poll by Harris interactive. Nintendo was once synonymous with gaming, Sony has taken that, along with being the top recognized name in electronics. That generates a familiarity and customer loyalty that’s hard to break through. Customers who had a PS2 will most likely get a PS3 because generally speaking, they had a good experience with it and are willing to bank on the PS3 being an equally good experience.

2. It’s a steal: Maybe not compared to other consoles, but let’s not forget that the PS3 is reportedly offering cutting edge technology at what is considered for the market a bargain price. As has been stated before, $500-600 for a machine that can play games, Blu-ray movies, music and go online when the new Blu-ray players by themselves are going to be around $1000? Sounds like a bargain to me.

3. Blu-ray is the future: HD-DVD may be cheaper, but Blu-ray has the support of a large majority of the major Hollywood studios. That, combined with Sony using it as their game format could easily and quickly usher in the Blu-ray era, leaving DVD/HD-DVD players and the systems that utilize them in the dust.

4. SHINY!: Both Sony & Microsoft are betting that superior graphics will be a huge part of the console war. If it’s the defining one, Sony’s already the winner. Assuming they weren’t completely blowing smoke out of their ass at E3, they will easily have the most impressive titles in terms of looks, and let’s face facts-impressive graphics sell. Can you honestly take one look at trailers like Resistance: The Fall of Man or MGS4 (or even the conspicuously MIA Killzone from last year’s E3) and tell me those don’t make you want to go out and get a system that can reportedly pull off something that impressive.

5. It’s a status symbol: There is a certain segment of the population that’s wants the latest, most expensive, cutting edge hardware, and that’s exactly what Sony is marketing the PS3 as, and if they are successful, they will convince this segment that they need to have this system in order to stay ahead. I mean, I sure as hell don’t need a top of the line high-def TV to watch my favorite shows and movies, but do I want one? Absolutely. Simply put, owning the PS3 definitely makes a statement.

6. Familiar Faces: Want to play the new Final Fantasy, Devil May Cry, Ratchet & Clank or the next-gen God of War? Nintendo and Microsoft aren’t an option. Though exclusivity isn’t what it used to be, many of your favorite franchises from the last generation will only be available on the PS3, and while nobody can argue the sheer quality of Nintendo’s exclusive trio of Mario, Zelda & Metroid, Sony has such a large advantage in terms of more key franchises that it may not matter.

7. Free Deathmatch: As of right now, Sony’s online service is supposedly free. Although Xbox live is hardly expensive at $50 a year, free still sounds pretty damn attractive, and although we don’t quite know the details, their system seems to roughly mimic Xbox live, which is hardly a bad strategy, and looks a lot more sophisticated than the friend code system Nintendo is planning on porting over from the DS for the Wii.

8. It slices! It dices!: According to Sony, the PS3 isn’t just a gaming machine, it’s an entertainment hub that will replace all your big media devices-your stereo, your movie player, possibly even your home computer. And if this turns out to be the case, it’s suddenly a very appealing all-in-one device.

9. Microsoft & Nintendo have burned too many fans: Let’s face some hard facts here-Nintendo’s last two home consoles can’t be considered anything other than dismal failures as market share of the once dominant company shrank considerably. All but the most diehard may have completely given up on them. As for Microsoft, they completely abandoned the Xbox to focus on their new system pretty damn early. And it’s been a bumpy road for the 360 so far with long shortages, numerous reported hardware issues, half-assed backwards compatibility and a general lack of really strong AAA titles. This has not left a good taste in gamers’ mouths. Sony on the other hand, is still supporting the PS2 very well and reportedly plans to for at least a couple more years. They’ve also pledged full backwards compatibility. It remains to be seen if they can do what Microsoft has not been able to, but if they pull it off, that’s one more huge point in Sony’s favor.

10. The system seller: Granted, we don’t really know what the PS3 launch lineup is going to look like. But it’s been repeatedly proven that you need only one really standout title in order to move systems. Assuming it makes launch, I’m more than willing to bet Resistance: The Fall of Man will move a hell of a lot of PS3’s and it may not be the only game to do so.

To wrap up, despite the missteps Sony has had in the last few months, this round of the console war is still very up for grabs. History has a trend of repeating itself. But there are two pertinent histories to really consider here. The most recent being Sony’s, who has easily won the last two rounds, and despite all points otherwise, may be poised to do so again. But possibly more important is Nintendo’s history. The easily won the 8 & 16-bit wars, but the next round hit them so hard they may never fully recover. Could Sony be in for the same fate? Either way, should be a very interesting holiday season.

I'll be back on later today with movie previews and any news that breaks.

Make Love the Brisco County Way

In case you forgot, today one of the greatest tv shows of all time is out, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., starring the legendary Bruce Campbell. The list price is a steep $100, but I've seen plenty of places selling it for a much more reasonable $60-$70. I would love to see massive DVD sales lead to a movie or something, but truth be told, Bruce is getting a little old to reprise any of the roles that made him famous (although maybe he could pull off one last Evil Dead, specifically about how he's too old to do it anymore).

And if you have a little extra cash to spare, get a double dosage of Campbell in his short-lived series Jack of All Trades, where Campbell plays a bumbling agent of Uncle Sam. Pretty much trademark Campbell camp.

So, 360 owners, what are you thinking about getting this fall season? My bet is on just about everyone's list is Gears of War and the hugely hyped Too Human. But not so fast. The two top titles might be suffering from some major setbacks, Too Human is almost guaranteed not to come out til at least 2007 now, and though Gears of War will probably make it by the end of the year, the possibility exists that it won't. which in my opinion would effectively kill the 360 this season as it gets assaulted by the PS3 & The Wii and their shiny new games while the 360 would essentially have no major exclusives too push. Hell, even if Gears of War does make it, I'd think it would need a good head start before it gets buried under the hype of the new system releases.

Is the PSP dying? Gameworld Network certainly seems to think so. It cites some good reasons such as the failure of UMD movies and the lack of original titles, but I think they are selling it a bit short. I don't like the library, but it is selling decently, and i think the system itself has loads of potential, if only the developers would actually step up...

OK, here's your SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Strange Bedfellows

When Square first started out in the game buisness, they were pretty solid partners with Nintendo, as all their US released games appeared on Nintendo platforms. Then they had a less then amicable split (supposedly over Nintendo sticking with cartridges when everyone else was switching to cd-roms) and were staunchly behind Sony, and they've mostly been a staple of Sony's ever since, with most thinking you'd never see a Square title on a Nintendo platform again. But in the last couple of years, Square has really branched out, releasing Crystal Chronicles for the Gamecube, FFXI for the 360, and several upcoming titles for the Nintendo DS. Now in a most interesting turn, they are behind the development of an actual Nintendo game, Mario Hoops 3 on 3 for the DS, which suggests a pretty damn close relationship between the two companies, especially since they are including several Final Fantasy characters in the game. Just seems that Square, which had essentially by synonymous with Sony and were supposed to be for the foreseeable future, is really hedging their bets for this round, wonder if they know something we don't...

So, wanna no more about the mysterious Nintendo Wiimote? IGN has a fairly in-depth article that is really mostly speculation, but it's pretty good speculation. Lot's of interesting ideas, but one thing that worries me is that it apparently runs on batteries. Sure, 30 hours may sound like a lot, but any decent player can knock that out in a weekend, and hardcore ones much faster. I really hope there's some kind of rechargeable option.

Is the game industry broken? Well duh. But in case you didn't figure out that higher development costs, lack of innovation, and too much reliance on licenses & sequels is slowing killing the industry, Gamedaily has an article that nicely lists those & several other reasons why. Which pretty much supports to my whole argument awhile ago of Sony & Microsoft going bigger & better really isn't good for the industry.

Finally, it's common knowledge that the 360 is doing pathetic buisness in Japan. Now, there may be any number of reasons for this, and I know the Japanese market is very different form here, but horrible ads like this can't be helping:



FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: WARP FOREST

The Wayans aren't funny

Oh don't get me wrong, when In Living Color started, it was easily the funniest show on TV for several years, and large part of that was due to the seemingly endless amount of Wayans. But last we saw, Damon Wayans was in some horribly unfunny TV show, and the last mildly entertaining thing the rest of the clan has done was the original Scary Movie. However, despite being one of the worst movies of the last few years, White Chicks (with a number of razzie nominations to prove it) was a smash, so now we get the assuredly incredibly unfunny Little Man, which ripped it's whole idea from a 7 minute Bugs Bunny Cartoon. I wish this would be such a huge flop that it would put the formerly brilliant Wayans clan out of business permanently, but lord knows the same moronic audience that actually made White Chicks successful will also make this one a hit (if for no other reason than it couldn't possibly have been the least bit expensive to make).

But then again, this weekend's other major offering doesn't look much better. Despite the seemingly surefire cast of Owen Wilson, Matt Dillon, and Kate Hudson, You, Me & Dupree doesn't entice me in the least bit. The whole horrible house guest that won't leave was sort of played out with What About Bob? (which conveniently also features a scene where the house is burned down/blown up). I mean, c'mon, you can't make a movie like Wedding Crashers, where you openly claim you're too old for this kind of behavior, and then next year do a movie where you are still doing the same kind of behavior.

So, what's a discerning moviegoer to do? Maybe you should check out A Scanner Darkly, IGN has posted the first 24 minutes, which should help you decide. I'm certainly intrigued.

Seems like EA is really stepping up support for the Wii, with no less than 6 major titles in development. I think it would be pretty cool to do a wizards duel in Harry Potter using the Wiimote and the mic function.

Missing your weekly Office fix? Be sure to check out the webisodes NBC is putting up to tide you fans over for the summer. They are amusing so far, but really, really short.

Finally, for a little bit of fun, here's the official music video for SNAKES ON A PLANE:

Son of Phantom

The ambitious but troubled Phantom gaming console will probably never actually see the light of day, but we've got another company coming out with something that sounds surprisingly similar. And it's expected to be about $80 more than the extremely pricey PS3. Now granted, they aren't really selling it as a game console, more as a low-end gaming computer. But given it's price and Sony's claims that their system will be a replacement for home computers, that's pretty much direct competition right there. Plus, as much as the medium seems to be shifting towards strictly digital content, I'm just not sure the public is ready for a system that's completely dependent on it.

Is UMD officially on its way out? Two big news items from today would make it appear so. First, Target has apparently dropped UMD from all its brick & mortar stores, making it only available online. This is usually the first step towards phasing a product out completely. Secondly, Sony is going to start offering memory sticks preloaded with movies, which will essentially undercut their UMD sales that are already stagnant to begin with.

Sony has pulled their racist billboards. I realize this was intended for the possibly less sensitive Amsterdam market, but given how the internet works, I still can't believe they didn't think people who would take massive offense to these ads (like say the NAACP) wouldn't get wind of this. It was just a boneheaded move.

To add even further to Sony's woes, it's Blu-ray production is experiencing even more delay problems, which may ultimately affect the planned November launch for the PS3. I think Sony would rather go down in flames than miss this launch window, so I don't expect there to not be any PS3s come launch time, but this may severely affect how many units are available and how bug-free they are.

So, think you're an avid collector? Got quite a nice collection of figures hanging on your shelf? Odds are Brett Martin has you beat. With over 10,000 pieces of video gaming memorabilia to his name, he has to be pretty much the ultimate collector. the good news for those of you who are actually envious of this (and I'll admit I'm just a little) is that he's selling of a good portion of his collection through his website, which is linked in the article. Now I have to wonder if a Strago doll is truly worth $56...

Finally, Episode III of Super Mario Z. is up. This is just an amazing flash series, I hope the creator doesn't have to suddenly quit making them anytime soon.

Bill Gates & The Argonauts

Well, it's somewhat official. Microsoft is coming out with some kind of portable device named the Argo (after Jason's ship from Jason & The Argonauts) that will play music, games and movies, pretty much just like the PSP. Of curse, the article is still pretty damn vague. Will it play a whole new format like UMDs? It uses wifi capability, but to what extent? Will it get a big line of exclusive titles, or will the games be afterthoughts like on a cell phone? And finally, does Microsoft even know how to make something small enough to actually be considered portable? My guess is it's primary function will really be as a direct competitor to the Ipod, but potentially speaking it could wage war on both fronts.

Well apparently, Pirates>Superman, Spider-Man or just about any other blockbuster film ever, with the biggest opening day and opening weekend numbers in history. What did I think of the film? I enjoyed it, and it had some great fight scenes (the wheel fight near the end in particular) but it was also pretty damn long and with the focus mostly on Depp's character, you really felt like Bloom & Knightley, who were the crux of the first film, were little more than distractions. That being said, I'm anxiously awaiting the third one and I just pray they don't pull a "Matrix" on us.

And finally, the past couple months have been fairly bleak for gamers in general, but 360 owners finally have something to look forward to, with no less than 3 big titles out this week. RTS fans are basically left out in the cold on consoles, but no longer with Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II. Though EA is obviously milking the franchise beyond what they should at this point, by all accounts it's the first RTS on console that's really done right, and should hopefully pave the way for more of its ilk in the future.

Then there's Prey, which is sort of what I would imagine would happen if Tony Hillerman ever made a video game, as you are a Cherokee with special spiritual powers that has to save earth from an alien invasion. Not the most original setup, but word is it's a more than solid shooter that should satisfy most FPS fans.

Then there's Chromehounds. Disguise it with hip marketing buzz words all you like (like naming mechs "HOUNDS"), but this smacks of yet another slow, clumsy and awkward mech title. I understand the appeal of fighting with heavily armed giant robot suits, but when they are ridiculously slow and almost impossible to handle effectively (which is true of 99% of the games in the genre), why would anyone even bother? I'll just wait for the next Mech Warrior game, thanks.

That's it for today, so here's your SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Pirates > Superman?

Although faring better than Batman Begins for its initial 5 day take with a fairly impressive 108 million total, Superman Returns is considered somewhat of a disappointment when you think about the alleged $250+ million it took just to bring it to the big screen. Now, personally, I loved the movie, so I'm hoping the mostly good word of mouth will carry it to a steady good number. That being said, for the inevitable sequel, they desperately need someone who could physically match up with Superman (so we can have that big fight that was missing in the first one), and my ideal choice would be Metallo.

Now, onto the movie that will surely knock Superman from its top spot, and some are expecting to do even better given the huge hype behind it-Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest. it's pretty hard to believe that Disney was actually able to mine at least one good franchise out of it's rather laughable plan to make movies based on theme rides, and this film looks like it will easily top the last one with bigger effects and more focus on the tremendous Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. The reviews haven't been as solid, but I think it's because no one expected the last one to be good, so it was a very pleasant surprise, as opposed to the new one, where they are now expecting it to be great. I fully intend to be in line early tomorrow morning and am already am heavily anticipating the third one, due out next year.

Also opening this week is A Scanner Darkly, based on the Phillip K. Dick novel. I like the cast and it sounds like a challenging film, but it's also playing only on a few screens, so I may wait for video (plus I may want to read the book someday, which usually ruins the movie).

The Prime time Emmy nominations have been announced, and it's more clear than ever that the academy has their heads completely up their asses. There are some more than deserving nominations (Scrubs, the Office, 24, Arrested Development). But shows like West Wing, Will and Grace, Commander in Chief, and just about anything on CBS that isn't David Letterman getting nominated in any possible category is a complete and total crock. King of Queens for Best comedy over My Name is Earl or Everybody Hates Chris? West Wing over Six Feet Under or The Shield? I'm pretty sure at this point they just throw all the shows into a hat and pick at random.

And finally, in keeping with the Pirate feeling this weekend, here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: PIRATES

The Launch Game

So, when exactly is Nintendo launching the Wii? A drunk rep apparently let it slip that it was going to be out on the 30th of October, but other sources place it as early as September, obviously giving it a solid head start over the PS3's mid-November launch. I wouldn't at all be surprised if the Wii came out in September, but ultimately, it could launch on the day and date of the PS3 and I don't think that would affect sales of either system that much. The initial shipment of both systems will sell out within a few hours and they will both probably be nearly impossible to get during the holidays (though probably not as hard as the Xbox 360 was). What really counts is the next wave, when the systems are readily available to the non-hardcore, casual public. And while the glitzy PS3 graphics may draw in a few with money to burn, the Wii is practically an impulse buy, which will make it that much more attractive.

Moving on, is Sony racist? Their string of PSP ads may suggest so. First, check out one of their thinly disguised video ads:



In case you that was too subtle for you, VGcats has a comic that puts it more blatantly:







Now granted, the above is fairly debatable, but what isn't is Sony's newest billboard for their upcoming PSP white model:







This Amsterdam billboard is already drawing huge ire from critics, and I don't know how it couldn't, I mean seriously, what idiot looked at this ad and thought people (especially the more reactionary type) wouldn't view this as blatantly racist? I know the saying goes there's no such thing as bad publicity, but that seems to be all Sony is getting the last year or so, and in the olden days, I'm pretty sure something this embarrassing would force Sony's top execs to commit Hari Kari rather than live with the embarrassment caused by such a stupid idea. And really, all their latest debacles are fairly reminiscent of just about any empire (corporate or otherwise) that was about to fall flat on its face and never recover.


That's all for today, but I'll definitely be back sometime tomorrow with thoughts on this weekend's films. And here's your SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

PS3 games will cost you....ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Well, that's exaggerating the point a bit, but look at this vague but alarming quote: "Generally Speaking, over the past twelve years or so, there has been a consumer expectation that disc-based games are maybe $59 on the high end to $39 on the low end. So, what I can say now is, I think it would be a bit of a stretch to think that we could suddenly turn around and say "PS3 Games now $99.99." I don't think consumers expect software pricing to suddenly double. So, the quick answer is that we want to make it as affordable as possible, knowing that there is a set consumer expectation for what software has cost for the past twelve years. That's kind of the best answer I can give you. So, if it becomes a bit higher than $59, don't ding me, but, again, I don't expect it to be $100".

Probably the biggest gripe of anybody entering the next generation is the higher cost of games, especially when those games aren't really delivering anything that makes you think it's worth the higher price. Now, Sony's are most likely going to be even costlier (my guess is $70), and my guess is they won't deliver an experience worthy of that cost (and game companies wonder why the used market is so popular...).

Superman Returns was simply an excellent movie. The performances (especially Routh as Superman, nearly as good as Reeve in the role), effects and story were all top notch. I've probably been spoiled by the comics, but the finale was a little mundane. It might have been better to pair Luthor with a villain that could physically match up with him (but that's what sequels are for).

Ok, the only other movie opening this week is The Devil Wears Prada on Friday. And while Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep are two fine actresses, I really have no interest in seeing a movie about an uber-bitch that runs a magazine. Seems like ground that's been tread before (like in any movie about the fashion industry).

And the reason I'm talking about it now is this will probably be my last post for this week, as I'm moving from the abysmally hot city of Chico to the supposedly abysmally rainy city of Seattle (whenever I tell someone I'm moving up there, they always respond "you know it rains a lot?", REALLY?!?). But never fear, I should be up and posting again by Monday at the latest, possibly Sunday if I feel up to it. But in the meantime, here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Balloon Duel

The Superman that almost was

Well it's been about 20 years, but Superman is finally coming back to the big screen in Superman Returns. Though I admit the initial trailers didn't impress me that much, the buzz has been fairly good and I'm seeing a sneak preview tonight, so I'll let you know my thoughts tommorow. But more epic thatn any villain Superman has ever faced was his long and bizarre battle back to the cinema. You can check out the really, really long story here. But I'll post some brief "highlights". Superman as Neo. GAY ROBOTS! No Flying or red tights! Giant polar bear fights! Ashton Kutcher as Superman! A giant mechanical spider! No one would put something that ridiculous in a movie, right???







But luckily, Bryan Singer finally got his hands on the project, and chose what in the end always works best for comic book films: sticking to the basics. Superman is a timeless character, much like Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, or Spider-Man. He may go through periods where people consider his unrelenting goodness and heroics (as oppossed to more vengeful or amoral heroes) uncool, but part of why he works is that he isn't changed on the public's whim that's going to change next year anyways(or at least when is, the fan reaction is usually so negative that he's quickly changed back).

All right, that's all for now, but here's the SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Resurrection is trendy

Proving once again that there's no such thing as cancellation, Futurama is coming back on the air with at least 13 new episodes. Granted, two years is a long wait, but it'll be well worth it for this very under-appreciated series.

Aaron Spelling has died. Obviously the guy was a huge influence on TV and pop culture, with shows like Charlie's Angels, Starsky & Hutch, Beverly Hills 90210 & Dynasty all his creation (and that's just a few). Granted, nothing he made was particularly moving or insightful, but nothing's wrong with fun trashy drama and this is one of the few guys who truly shaped what TV is today (for better or worse). I actually kind of shudder at the thought that now Tori Spelling may be in charge of the Spelling empire...

Sega celebrates two rather noteworthy anniversaries. Sonic, the one-time challenger to Mario's mascot throne, turns 15 today. And it's actually very sad to see such a promising franchise go so far downhill the last generation. I mean, he hasn't had a good console title since Sonic Adventure for the Dreamcast. And it's pretty obvious to see what the problem is-The focus of the games has been less and less on Sonic, and more on his cuddly forgettable pals that are aimed at the under 10 set. It's hard to believe now, but when Sonic came out, he was essentially aimed at teens-he had an attitude, was impatient, and had a blatant disregard for old fat guys in plumber outfits. Now he seems like some old guy still tagging along with young kids. He either needs to step aside and age gracefully, or really give it a go at truly reinventing himself. Luckily, Sonic's new title for the Wii, Sonic Wildfire, seems to be long overdue a step in the right direction.

And secondly, it's the 20th anniversary of Sega's first entry into the console market, the Sega Master System. Considering how badly it was smashed by the NES, we're probably lucky we got to see the Genesis in any form. I think I only knew one kid back in the day who had one, and generally speaking, the games weren't too memorable even if the system was more powerful. There's a lesson in there somewhere for you Sony.....

So, did you think the Wii would just use your standard memory card for storage? Maybe, but it's apparently just one of several types, the main one being SD disks. What this essentially means is that in an era of $100+ hard drives or ridiculously overpriced memory cards, the Wii will be the only system to offer multiple and cheap ways to save your stuff. Just another point for the Wii having the biggest installed when all is said and done. I mean even MS & Sony have said you should buy a Wii (of course after you buy their system), if most people heed their advice, it's a very easy win.


That's it for today, but here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK:Galatic Gravity Golf, and I leave you with a TERRIFYING MESSAGE FROM AL GORE

Master of the Universal Remote

Adam Sandler will probably continue to defy all logic by having another hit on his hands with the already critically reviled Click. Despite not having a entertaining film since The Waterboy nearly a decade ago (Longest Yard was easily the worst movie I saw last year, yet it somehow grossed just over $158 million). I think the concept is sound enough, but it seems from the previews that this is a concept that really goes nowhere, and none of the jokes in the previews were even remotely funny (no pun intended).

Would Sony be where it is today without the mega-franchise Grand Theft Auto? Sony crazy man and co-Chief Operating Officer of Sony Computer Entertainment America, Jack Tretton seems to think so. Because GTA isn't the biggest mega franchise of the last generation or anything and isn't the sole reason many people who conisdered gaming uncool bought a PS2. There's pretty much only one franchise that comes close to selling those numbers these days, and that's Halo, which is a 360 exclusive. GTA isn't anymore, and in fact will have exclusive episodic content on the 360. And I'm sure Take Two, the developers of this reveloutionary franchise that did in fact help propel the PS2 into a leadership foothold in its early days would be so pleased that Sony has dismissed them so easily...

Furthermore, is Sony even going to be relevant in the near future? Buisness magazine Buisness 2.0 seems to think not. And granted, their reasons are pretty sound, and I'd love to see Sony fall flat on their face in both the console & dvd market, but saying Sony & Kuturagi especially are pretty much on their way out is a bit premature before their admittedly troubled next-gen formats even come out, as Sony has a long history of crap hardware that has sold extremely well (Beta & UMD notwithstanding).

Ok, somehow, it completely slipped by me that the 4th season of Newsradio has been out for a while, so I picked that up today, therefore completing my Newsradio collection (I try to pretend the abysmal 5th & final season did not exist). Other shows about wacky office employees only wish they could have had a run half this good (NBC's The Office may get there, but it's only had one brilliant season so far, we'll have to wait and see if they can keep it up), I highly reccomend you pick up all 4 seasons of this classically underrated sitcom.

Finally, to go out with a laugh, here is John Stewart, coming to the defense of gamers and once again proving that idiot politicians just have no fucking clue...

Out with the Old.....

Notice anything different? I've really been wanting to do something more drastic with the style of this blog for a while, just never seemed to really have the energy or time till today. So after searching pre-created templates for several hours and finding none that I liked, I sorta made my own half-assed one. The collage is completely my creation(using Picasa, which is a wonderfully simple, easy & most importantly, FREE program you can use to make collages like the one that serves as my background) and I just used a different blogger template with a darker color scheme that I liked better for the rest. What I didn't realize was that resetting the template would also delete all my links, so I just simplified the whole list, added a few in, took a few out (if I left someone off who reads this blog, contact me and I'll add you in). Most of these are way more well-known then my little blog anyways, so if I've made someone a new fan of Penny Arcade or Gorillamask or whatever, let them know so hopefully I can get a few more hits in return.

Ok, moving on, want to check out some of the adventure classics of yesteryear, but don't want to have to scour ebay & the internet itself for the games & the right software to run it? Never fear, You can download completely free VGA remakes of KING'S QUEST ONE, TWO, and THREE for free at those links and they'll run great on your modern hardware and look way better than the original version anyways. If you've never experienced these, you owe it to yourself to try out the classic gameplay (puzzles that require actual thought! Haven't seen those in over a decade!) and any of us who remember these timeless classics will want to experience them again. I can only hope some creative programmers with plenty of free time start doing the same to the Space Quest series(although a couple fan games were made, which you can download here & here).

Well, it looks like Uwe Boll has his first official opponent lined up-Richard Lowtax (from Something Awful, which has published more than a few disparaging articles about Boll) has apparently gotten an invite for Boll's exclusive fight club of people he's not afraid to beat up for saying his movies suck. I'd still love the opportunity to take you on in a steel cage match, Mr. Boll...

Ok, that's really all for now, since I haven't really slept since Monday night thanks to updating the blog's new look after I got home from work and desperately need some shut eye, but I'll probably be back later on in the day if anything newsworthy breaks. In the mean time, here's the SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

A Special Video for all the dads out there

Well, technically it's Monday, but this video is for all the fathers who get home from a long day every day and just want to let off some steam: DAD'S HOME!

I did see both Cars & Nacho Libre this weekend. Nacho Libre was fairly mediocre, essentially Jack Black spouting off in a bad Mexican accent for 90 minutes with nothing else. Cars was enjoyable, and looked fantastic, but pounded in its message a little much and not quite up there comedy-wise with Toy Story or A Bug's Life.

Like most kids of the 80s, I grew up reading Mad Magazine, but I've barely been aware it existed since I was a teen. But they may have finally written their best article ever: The 50 worst things about video games. Pretty much every single item is spot on. I only wish this was onr their joke articles, most of these things seriously make me question why I even bother playing fairly often...

Proof games are helpful to you? Meet Brad Coleman, 18-year old pro NASCAR driver. How'd he get his mad skills? He says it was VIDEO GAMES! Eat that, Jack Thompson!



Ok, that's it for today, FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: BASE JUMPER

Learning your roots

Relatively new to the gaming scene, but want to act like you know at least as much as the next ignorant lifelong fanboy? not to worry, your buddy Eric has got some great cliff notes for the uninitiated: Gamepro just released a pretty good feature on The 11 most groundbreaking controllers ever (what, no love for the ridiculously complicated Steel Battalion controller?). Then, 1up has a lovely in-depth article on the "innovations that changed gaming forever". And finally if your eyes aren't too glazed over, head over to Thumbgods for a slightly incomplete but more than sufficient evolution of the home console. This should be more than enough to bluff your way through just about any geek meet.

Moving onto this weekend's movies-Keanu Reeves & Sandra Bullock star together for the first time since Speed in The Lakehouse. I think the concept is interesting enough, but can anybody guess how this impossible love story of two people living in separate times end up? It's times like this I need to remind myself that Keanu Reeves does not suck, and luckily, someone has 40 perfectly good reasons he doesn't. Anybody who has both Bill S. Preston, Esquire & Buddha on their resume deserves serious lifetime props.

But that may be the brightest spot out of mostly surefire duds. Fast and the Furious was a stupid but enjoyable popcorn film. 2 Fast 2 Furious was just another example of Paul Walker's horrendous acting. And now, for the 3rd movie, they move it to Japan with a whole new guy. Well, it worked for the Bad News Bears, right (oh wait, no it didn't)? The saddest part is the are apparently already planning part 4, which may or may not include the return of Vin Diesel.

And speaking of sequels nobody asked for-Garfield is back, and they just decided to essentially steal the whole story from The Prince & The Pauper. Not a bad basis, but as someone who could barely stand 20 minutes of the abysmal original, here's hoping this fat lazy furball who hasn't been funny for over a decade in any format is hauled off to the pound once and for all.

Finally, the only movie that has a bit of real promise this weekend-Nacho Libre. The mere idea of Jack Black being a Mexican Luchadore is genius, and it is from the same guy who brought us Napolean Dynamite, but the lackluster previews and family-friendly PG rating (not too mention it's a Nickelodeon product) give me great pause. I still haven't gotten around to checking out Cars just yet, so that may be my best option this weekend.

But. let's end this post with the newest trailer for one Summer movie that is pure guaranteed awesomeness: TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

Uwe Boll wants to kick my ass

Well, not just my ass, but generally the ass of all his critics. While I'd happily accept, I'm pretty sure I only wrote one article in my blog specifically devoted to how much he sucks last year, and he's obviously looking only for really thin and shrimpy critics, with that 150-190 lbs. requirement (I think Richard Roeper fits, lets get him in there). Nevertheless Mr. Boll, I will openly state that as long as you provide the expenses I would gladly kick your ass in a boxing ring, or preferably, a steel cage with tables, ladders and chairs thrown in.

So, moving on to even more ludicrous news (if that's even possible), what the next big reality show about? Cats. That's right, CATS. Now, I like cats. I've had several, and they were all great. That being said, I would not watch a show where the idea is just to see how they behave in some "cat version of Disneyland" as they are calling it. Just makes me more thankful I'm not giving cable TV any of my money.

Ok, that's all I really got for today, but here's the SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Let there be Lite

Today is the Official Launch Day of Nintendo's DS redesign of their latest portable, the DS Lite. It's sleeker, but the real advantage is how much brighter the screen is (course, I haven't heard anything on how much that'll shorten the amount of time you can go without recharging it). 1up has a great long feature on the system here. I have a strong stance against buying systems you already own, so I won't personally be picking one up since I'm perfectly happy with my standard DS, but if you've been pondering getting one, now is definitely the time. Although, if you haven't already pre-ordered one, it may be near impossible to get..

I haven't seen Cars yet (I'll probably catch it sometime this week) but I did manage to watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I highly recommend, as it's a tremendously funny riff on cliched action films with brilliant turns by Val Kilmer & Robert Downey Jr.

Weird Al is still alive? Yep, and he's got a new single, a fairly brilliant parody of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful", titled "You're Pitiful".

That's really all I got for today, but let's end the week with a fun video: ROLLIN WITH SAGET

Baby, you can drive my car

Pixar, possibly the most successful movie studio in history, releases their newest guaranteed smash tommorow, Cars. I don't think every movie of theirs is great, but their box office track record is undeniable, while othe animated films seem to be roughly assembled with nothing more than a wing and a prayer, Pixar tends to bring something new and fresh just about every time that actually appeals to the whole family, and I'm fairly positive Cars won't be any different.

But for that senior citizen crowd, there's always A Prarie Home Companion. Seriously, is there anybody under their mid-50s who even knows this is based on an old radio show? The only reason I know is cause my dad is a huge fan and used to torture me with it on long road trips. The cast looks inspired enough (Kevin Kline is pure gold in anything), but Altman hasn't had a seriously good movie since Short Cuts, which was nearly 15 years ago...


FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: SUper mario Sunshine 64

He who laughs last...

Probably the only reality show I'll readily watch, Last Comic Standing, made a miraculous return from the grave last week. Probably the hardest thing in the universe is stand-up comedy, and this show proves it week in and week out. I don't have any favorites quite yet, but some will hopefully emerge as the contestants get cut down. Right now, I can honestly say everybody that made the initial cut was pretty damn funny, which is a first. If you value honest to goodness comedy, you need to watch and support this show.

Ever wish you take your PS2 or Gamecube with you wherever you go? Well have a little ingenuity like the guys who made the Top 10 Strangest Custom Gaming Systems. Some really interesting ideas on there, if only they'd mass market them...

And do we have another Jack Thompson in the making? although John Rosemond stays away from extremes like saying all gamers are murderers, he does say that they are dangerously addictive to children. Now, I'm going to say something, somewhat surprising here-he's partially correct. Much like TV, you let video games act as a babysitter, and yes, children become bored doing anything else and get addicted to them. But this is where that thing called parenting comes in. It's the parents job to moderate things like this and get their children interested in other things. Totally removing games from their life is not the answer.

Ok, that's all for now, Last Comic Standing is just about to start!

Hit Men & Gamers are basically the same

Ah, leave it to Jack Thompson to make these wonderfully long and unrelated leaps of absolute non-logic. In his latest departure from reality, Thompson enlightens us with such gems as : “Nobody shoots anybody in the face unless you’re a hit man or a video gamer.” Right. I'm sure Al Capone & his cronies trained on video games, or Al Qaeda's top agents for that matter. Oh, and by the way, Mr. Thompson, generally speaking, Hit men do in fact, NOT SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE FACE. It's messy and makes the mark harder to identify, therefore making it harder for said hit man to prove he killed the person and earn his money. Hell, if the Hitman games have taught me anything, it's that preferred methods are things like poison or strangulation. And if you have to resort to shooting, it's usually high up/far away with a sniper rifle on a very specific point in the head, not blowing up their face point blank. But I could also learn this crap by watching the myriad of movies based on hit men or books for that matter, yet I do not. Could it possibly be because like most gamers I am a reasonably well-adjusted person who will never go out and commit a violent act strictly due to video games? What honestly really worries me about the story, though, is that the police apparently took Thompson's claims seriously since they actually seized the suspect's games as evidence. If anything, this provides evidence for some BS insanity defense. I really wish somebody with some fucking stones (either Jon Stewart or Pen & Teller would be a great choice) would take this scum on and really show what he is-An opportunistic lying ambulance chaser desperate to get his name in print on the air, stretching out his 15 minutes as long as possible.

Moving on, with tomorrow being 6/6/06, some are predicting an apocalyptic day (would be nice if I could sleep in because everything has been burned to ash), but movie-wise, it means yet another remake nobody asked for: THE OMEN. The original film is one of the few horror classic that I think truly deserves it's status, as it still holds up surprisingly well. But remakes are rarely halfway decent to begin with, and this seems like a pointless straight remake to cheaply cash in.

That's really all for today, but I'll almost certainly be back tomorrow, meanwhile, here's the SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:



And, a fun little fan movie: CONSOLE WARS: EPISODE IV

Curing the Summertime Blues

Ok, sure, there are plenty of ways to fill your summer. Lots of new movies come out, catch up on reading, actually go outside once and awhile (shudder). But hey, I'm a TV junkie, and despite networks refocusing to deliver long overdue original summertime programming, most of it isn't worthwhile (especially since I don't have cable). Luckily there is a completely free solution to anyone with a decent internet connection (meaning higher than 56K). It's called Peekvid, and it's a completely free & legitimate collection of TV shows. Some web-based, some straight from network & cable TV, as well as lots of anime and independent videos. You can waste lots of hours watching episodes of your favorite old shows, or discover completely new ones. The only downside is that the collection is rather sporadic, so it's not the best way to catch up on entire seasons that you missed.

I did see The Breakup on friday, and overall I'd reccomend as it's a solid comedy that doesn't go the typical Hollywood route. But I felt it could've been a bit better if the characters weren't so civil to each other.


All right, that's all for today. Until next week!

It's not me, it's you

This weekend's biggest opening examines what happens when a relationship goes really wrong in The Breakup. Anniston & Vaughn seem like guaranteed comedy gold, but the reviews have not been to kind. I'm probably seeing it later today, so I'll let you know my thoughts on Saturday or Sunday.

One film I did see this week and enjoyed quite a bit was Over the Hedge. It was a really fun and funny film, and the characters manage to be engaing rather than annoying like in most animated fare these days. Special mention shoudl go out to Steve Carrell, who actually bothers to not use his own voice and create a character, rather than not only the rest of the cast, but nearly every other animated film where known actors are simply being themselves.

Moving on, are games really a dangerous addiction? Apparently some people in Europe think so. I think this is possibly the most ridiculous fucking thing I've ever heard. They compare it to gambling, but gambling can make you lose your house and get your limbs broken from loan sharks & bookies. This is hardly an equivalent. And as someone who considers himself a lifelong gamer-I have never gone into serious debt or missed a day of work due to gaming, and have a healthy circle of friends I often hang out with and do things other than play video games with. I really don't know how anybody justifies much less encourages this bullshit.

And that's really all I got for today, but as usual, here's the SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:



And also THE FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: SHOPLIFTER

The last stand. Uh, you know, until the next last stand....

Ok, so I attendend a midnight screening of pretty much the only thing opening this weekend-X-Men: The Last Stand. How was it? Well I think the casual moviegoing crowd will enjoy it, but comic book fans probably won't like how much it messes with the known stories of the X-men universe. And despite claims that this would probably be the last X-men film, way too many hints of a sequel abound. And I thought it was a fun ride, so I don't have a problem with that.

Pretty muc hnothing else to report today, so I'll just leave off with THE FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Bloody Rage

You know what really grinds my gears?

Seth MacFarlane trying to pull a fast one on us, that's what. This past Sunday's "season finale" of Family guy was nothing more the an extremely neutered and shortened version of the Stewie Griffin movie that came out way back in September of last year. I was initally as excited as anybody to see Family Guy return to the airwaves, but I'm gonna fully admit that this has been a geniunely mediocre if not downright awful season, and giving the fans a huge "screw you" by trying to pass off something that's been available for months as new is just inexcusable. Way to burn the fans responsible for getting your job back.

The summertime blues have officially begun for gamers, with the release slate looking slimmer and slimmer up until at least September, but I'm very interested in checking out Steambot Chronicles, it seems like a fun quirky rpg that'd be right up my alley (although I'm not quite done with Atelier Iris 2 yet, so I'll probably hold off with that for a little while.

That's mostly all I have for today discussion-wsie, but I got lots of cool new media for everybody:

First up, somebody went ahead and made a Angel/Buffy trailer mixed in with Sin City, these go so perfectly together, it's damn eerie:



Secondly, someone has gone ahead and made a very cool flash series that finally combines the worlds of Mario & Sonic, infused with clever Dragonball Z style. Check out Episode 1 and Episode 2, this is just pretty amazing work.

And finally,. with Scrubs off the air til the new midseason in January, I've decided to add a new weekly feature until it comes back: The SCRUBS CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Nintendo: Masters of half-assing it.

So, I did just get back from seeing The Da Vinci Code, and the movie doesn't even do justice to the fairly mediocre novel. So many key things are changed and left out, anyone who read the book will feel like they are seeing a movie based on a different book, and anyone who didn't read the book will not understand most of the movie. It's also very poorly paced at a plodding 150 minutes and even though you have a fine cast with the likes of Tom Hanks, Iam Mckellean & Jean Reno, the acting all around is extremely wooden and/or hammy. Since this will obviously be a huge smash regardless, it'll be likely that they will adapt the much better Angels & Demons, and hopefully, it'll be a much better book.

Ok, so I did pick up the New Super Mario Bros., and it's a great throwback to the 2D era. It even allows you to play competively against others in minigames and such. The problem? It's only if someone has a DS within 10 feet of you. This is yet another example of Nintendo promising to really utilize a key feature of a product and just truly half-assing it. I mean seriously, you hav wifi available, why not make every use out of it? They have essentially done this with every "feature" they've tried to include. The Zapper, the power pad, ROBB, the ram cartridge for the N64, the gameboy connectivity, online in general. I could list plenty more, but that gets my main point across, Nintendo has a habit of introducing some potentially huge innovation if it's actually supported with a weatlh of innovative titles, and they tend to actually not do much to support said innovation. I'm hoping the Wii will be a lomg overdue change of focus, not only on the need for innovative controls (which will most likely happen since the primary controller is so unique) but a healthy online service. This means if a game is multi-player, it better have online capabilites, if we want to download old classics from the virtual console like say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Street Fighter 2, they better have online capabilities as well. A solid online selection could be the key difference in this upcoming round of the console wars, lord knows Microsoft is essentially placing all their hopes on the future of online, Nintendo may at least want to give it an earnest effort for a change.

Free Game of the Week: Johnny Rocketfingers 2

Those who learn from history will hopefully repeat it

Not normally how the saying goes, but if Nintendo follows its own history, the Wii will launch for the low low price of $199, which would be awesome.

So, I probably should've done a wrap up of E3 over the weekend, but I felt everything had pretty much been said. You talk to anybody who wasn't a die-hard fanboy of MS or Sony, Nintendo easily stole the show, and all the really big news came from the press conferences before the show even started. Aside from the Super Smash Bros. game, no big news or sleeper hits that everyone was talking about were uunveiled. So although much more exciting than laste year's show, it wasn't nearly as exciting as when the last systems were introduced, there just wasn't nearly as much of a wow factor this time around.

Of course this is all supposition. Nintendo could still have a shitty launch (although doubtful with both Zelda & Metroid being available). And Sony could still pull a rabbit out of their hat with some high-profile blu-ray movies and a really stunning launch selection come November. We'll really just have to wait and see. Plus, people tend to buy names they are familiar with, and the Sony brand is undoubtedly a juggernaut.

Of course with the coming and going of E3 and the arrival of Summer, the game releases have pretty much slowed to a crawl, but any DS owner worth their salt will undoubtedly pick up Mario's return to old school in the oh-so creatively titled New Super Mario Bros. (couldn't they have just named it Super Mario Bros. DS or something?). I've been working too much this week to pick it up just yet, but I fully plan to remedy that tommorow.

And although I usually wiat till Thursday for the weekend's movies, I'll address this weekend's biggest opening, The Da Vinci Code, right now. Plain and simple, Dan Brown is a hack. He has exactly one good book to his credit, Angels & Demons and he just copied that book from there on out. Secretive socities, impossible heroes that are geeky yet attractive scientists working on a mystery that could change the foundation of an organiation that's been around for decades, and an :unlikely" but completely predictable good guy who is actually a bad guy. You remove the religious controversy and you've got one fairly abysmal story. And, judging from early reactions, that is how it is percieved on the big screen as well.


That's really all I have for today, but to go out on a sweet note, check out these Wiimote-inspired cakes. MMMMMM, CAKES!

I'm never getting on a goddamn boat again....

Ok, so after two days of nearly nonstop huge news, today at E3 was pretty much dead, relatively speaking. Other than a trailer for a far off in the future Indiana Jones title, not much to get excited about, so I'll just move on to the only movie even worth talking about this weekend: Poseidon. The effects look impressive enough, but this was already done. Twice. And no doubt some will compare it to Titanic, which although it focuses on more characters, is probably fair. I just see no interest for this film whatsoever. I'm sure it will do decent opening weekend numbers, but I'm not planning on seeing it. I highly reccomed you see MI3 instead, it's a fun Summer film and deserves better than the "disapointing" opening weekend it had.

FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Brainbots

Hey, you've got your Snake in my Smash Bros.!

It almost seemed like it wasn't even going to be mentioned. After Reggie Fills-Aime made the announcement at E3 last year the Super Smash Bros. was going to be a launch title for the Wii. But it was conspicously absent from the Nintedo's press conference, and it was a no show on the floor. But lo and behold, the next Super Smash bros. game was unveiled to journalists behind closed doors. The new key playes already known:
Meta Knight
Kid Icarus
Wario
And Solid Snake from the Metal Gear games. Supposedly more are coming, with a strong hint of Sonic being a distinct possibility. Now for the bad news: It won't be out until sometime next year. That would've been one hell of a way to push online at launch, but I'm willing to wait.

And on the first official day Nintendo still had the most interesting stuff by far, especially since you got to see people actually use the controller on Mario, Metroid and Zelda. Despite the obvious lack of graphical quality in the games, I'm getting more excited about the system by the day, especially with the new gun for an upcoming Duck Hunt title:





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And that's really all I got for today, I'll be back again tommorow, though.

Wii Need a Revolution.

Ok, the name is still silly, but I doubt Nintendo has many doubters left after their rather amazing press conference today. The Wii and it's TV-style sensor-remote were in fully fuctional form, showing off new versions of Mario, Zelda and Metroid.
But truly impressive was the Red Steel demo, which really showed off what the controller could do. In all honesty my only complaint of this press conference would be that the graphics on the games actually did not look the least bit impressive when stacked up against the 360 or the PS3 titles. Most of them looked like they could easily be done on the Gamecube in fact, which may make it hard to pull in a public that prizes eye-candy so much. But as for me, I'm completely sold and want to reserve one as soon as humanly possible.

Microsoft also had their big conference today, and it was really only slightly better than Sony's. They touted off a bunch of meaningless projected numbers, and showed off quite a few clearly pre-renedered videos that showed no hint of actual gameplay. Indeed, the only game that impressed was Gears of War. They also seemed to have almost nothing but shooters coming out. Speaking of which, they did close out the press conference with a highly anticipated Halo 3 trailer, but again it was simply a short teaser to appease the hardcore fans. It was hardly a noteoworthy showing. Hopefully the next few days will show something more promising.

That's really all I have for today, but I'll be posting all this week with my thoughts on the daily happenings of E3.

Sony, bastion of originality....

So, In all the anticipation of Nintendo's conference in a little under 10 hours, I totally forgot that Sony also had a big press conference today. Here is their official deisgn for the PS3, with their "newly redesigned" controller:








Looks sorta familiar, don't it? Well, aside from being wireless (also another original idea...) the big difference is that they have basically stolen Nintendo's main gimmick and supposedly added motion-sensing capablities to the controller, though my guess is it won't bey a key component of any noteworthy titles, and therefore limited to being a nifty gimmick that's never utilized.

And suprisingly they announced the prices. Two prices to be exact (again, does this sound familiar?). $500 for the shitty model with a 20 gig hardrive. $600 for the slightly less shitty model with a bigger hardrive. Well the only fucked up this idea twice as bad as MS did. But Sony's lower-priced model is even more cut off than MS' was. I really think Sony is pushing the limits of what people will spend on a gaming machine (that's right, IT'S A FUCKING GAMING MACHINE, GET USED TO IT!).

They mentioned some online details, but it was honestly very vague stuff, aside from saying they wanted to create an integral online community or something to that effect. No details on pricing of any sort (which means it most likely won't be free).

Finally, Sony did throw out several trailers that were suppossed to impress: 8 Days, Heavenly Sword, and Resistance. I admit 8 days looked impresively graphically, but the other trailers were extremely underwhelming in my view. This was pretty much my fear. These all look simply like prettier versions of games we already play. Not any new ways to play them.

SquareEnix also had a press conference today. Their big news was a brief trailer for Final Fantasy XIII, which will be exclusive to the PS3, but honestly, as big an FF fan as I am, I was severely unimpressed by the static designs and obviously prer-renedered animations that would be quite simple for an rpg to pull off with its traditionally limited interaction. I was much more enthused about SE announcing a Dragon Quest game for the Wii (hell, I'm over it, but I hold out a little hope that they'll say it was a joke tommorow) that will be available AT LAUNCH. Nintendo's system is just sounding better and better.

Best,. Week. Ever.

So I saw Mission Impossible 3 today, and although the plot was damn predictable, it was a very fun action film. I highly reccomend you at least try and see past the crazyness that is Tom Cruise because the man can still deliver a very solid action flick.

Now, why is this coming week the best week ever? Not only is Season 3 of Scrubs out on DVD this Tuesday, but this week is the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, running from the 9th through the 12th, and it promises so much more than last year's somewhat dismal showing. This year, rather than merely presenting system protoypes and what most of us believe (and I still will to someone actually plays the damn things) was impressive but pre-rendered footage, we actually finally get to see just exactly what Sony & Nintendo really have up their sleeve, and if MS really has anything to counter them with (namely meaning if Gears of War & Too Human are not only playable, but also if they are any good). You can get the official list of the known titles here. Hopefully there will be a few suprises as well, but I can easily say I am most anticipating the lineup for Nintendo's new system, especially since somebody from Time Magazine has gotten some early play wth the unique controller and was reportedly extremely impressed.

Ok, that's really all I got for today, but I'm not working Tues. or Wed., which should be the biggest days of E3, so I'll definitely post my thoughts on what's happening for both those days.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it....

Is to try and ignore the fact that Tom Cruise is not only a complete loon, but possibly the WORST DANCER EVER:



Because despite the fact that I absolutely hated last year's War of the Worlds, I am pretty pumped about MI3 this weekend. The previews look very solid, and despite the nonsesical plots, I enjoyed the 2 previous films. It's also pretty much the only film even worth mentioning that's opening this weekend.

USA Today has published their annual "Save our Shows" Survey, trying to drum up support for shows near cancellation. Not surprisingly the top two are critically acclaimed brilliant shows that for some reason not enough people watch. It is a seriously sorry state of TV when Deal or No Deal is a ratings monster, but Scrubs & Veronica Mars are nearing the edge of cancellation despite all the positive press the critics have given them. Those are two of my favorite shows, but given that even if NBC drops Scrubs, ABC has repeatedly said they would gladly pick it up, and Veronica Mars is one of only 2 acclaimed shows on UPN (the other being the excellent Everybody Hates Chris), I'm not too worried.

Ok, that's really all I have for today.

Why Can't Wii be Friends?

Unfortunately, it's just a fan made movie, but I gotta admit, it looks pretty damn cool. If The Big N can make their ad campaign that hip, they might be able to turn this thing around(and yes, I've finally bothered to learn how to post videos directly onto my blog, so that will be a regular thing).

Of course, they may not need to. In addition to Red Steel, Super Monkey, Madden, Metal Slug and even the upcoming Spider-Man 3 game are all getting exclusive Nintendo versions specifically designed to work with the controller (add in Smash Bros online and there's no way I'm not having one on launch day). E3 is next week, and it holds a helluva more promise than last year's dissapointing show.

Several new Trailers popped up this week: A new Superman trailer, a new Pirates of the Carribean Trailer, and the first 007 trailer. While I was extremely impressed by both POTC & 007, the Superman one didn't impress me much. The effects looked a little hokey, and aside from Kevin Spacey, none of the actors seemed convincing. I remain hopeful it'll still come together, but I'm not nearly as I hyped as I previously had been.

Ok, that's really all I got for today, except for the FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: FAMILY GUY vs. AMERICAN DAD

Stop playing with your Wii!!!!

See. sound silly and immature, doesn't it? Well that's what the average Nintendo fanboy has come out and said. That anybody who is deriding the name for Nintendo's new system is simply immature and possibly homophobic, cause let's face it, the name is damn fruity no matter what way you put it. That being said, this system was suppossed to bring Nintendo back into the more mainstrem audience. The average gamer. The average person. And the average person, especially the average gamer, is exactly that-immature as hell and not looking to buy anything that they might percieve as silly (or "ghey"), which is exactly what a name like "Wii" implies. Hell, at best, it makes the system, once again, sound like a toy. And people, generally speaking, are only willing to spend so much on a toy. Really, the only way Nintedo can regain any groud at this point is too have an absolutely killer E3 showing, and with Sony & MS already having some gauraunteed big guns, that's going to be a major challenge to say the least.

That's really all I have for today-haven't had a whole lot of time to play with Atelier Iris 2 or Lost Magic, but I'm enjoying both of the so far.

FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Zelda Invaders