I'm not horribly familiar with the Dungeon Siege series, but I'm sure this film follows the usual magical Uwe Boll formula of butchering it in every possible way. Jason Statham is a farmer. NAMED FARMER. Just let that sink in. Anyways, evil generic things apparently controlled by evil wizard Ray Liotta attack his village, kill his son and capture his wife, so Farmer the farmer must join up with King Burt Reynolds and his army to go rescue her.
Anything seem out of place there? I'm all for unusual casting but Burt Reynolds and Ray Liotta don't belong anywhere near a fantasy epic, neither does Matthew Lillard as the king's scheming nephew. Of course, if that was the worst thing about this movie, it might actually be ok. But everything about this movie is awful. How about that Farmer's trademark weapon is a goddamn wooden boomerang? Like the bad dubbing that is noticeably off even though this is not a foreign film. Or the war scene where there are a platoon of ninjas BECAUSE REASONS. Or how about where they claim confusion that Ray Liotta is so powerful, because apparently his power is based on loyalty to a king, and then he explains that he's so powerful because he named himself king of the monsters he controls? How about when Lillard has clearly betrayed and tried to kill Burt Reynolds, and he doesn't do anything about, leaving him to cause more trouble on the battlefield?
Even the editing is awful, with confusing cuts, terrible fight scenes and oddly off dubbing (in a film that is all in English, mind you, with actors who all speak English). I'm pretty sure this has been Uwe Boll's biggest budget to date and it just makes the usual problems in Boll's films all that more apparent. I really can't recommend this on any level other than pure morbid curiosity.
That's all for today, I'll probably have a post up on something by Wednesday.
No comments:
Post a Comment