6/21/2005

So a foul-mouthed alcholic squirrel and a homicidal alien walk into a bar...

Best described as a Bizarro world version of Disney Land, the original Conker's Bad Fur Day was one of the last great releases on the Nintendo 64 (hell, it was one of the few good ones). You played a wacky squirrel who got piss drunk on his 21st birthday, and woke up with a hangover in a stange land that included things like flowers with huge breasts and a giant living mound of poo that sang opera. But for the time it was also a brilliant platformer thanks to what at the time was a fairly original take on your normal cute and cuddly platformer and an extremely robust single and multi-player mode. And years later, when Rare was snapped up by Microsoft, one of the first announcements would be that they were porting over the nasty and twisted tale of Conker to the Xbox, with a huge online mode. Problem is, they didn't change anything, so a lot of the balance and camera problems that were forgivable when the game was new just seem annoying now. And the witty movie jabs have aged really terribly, as have the bad fart jokes and toilet humor. I'm sure it will sell well, but I'd rather they have a real and creative sequel (especially since the damn game took at least two years) than some game I played years ago that seems rather dated now.

Also out this week is Destory All Humans, an homage to campy sci-fi classics (so much so that there was a special offer where you could get a free copy of Plan 9 from Outer Space). You play an alien whose ultimate goal is to get DNA to save your planet from dying, but the real purpose is to use all the cool weapons at your disposal to blow the hell out of every human and cow in sight. It probably won't offer much in terms of original gameplay, but running around with an alien death ray causing major havoc is always fun.

Going with the philosophy if it ain't broke,fix it anyways; the Big N is apparently considering revamping the look of the classic games that it will have available to download on its upcoming Revolution system. This is a HORRIBLE idea. The whole reason people are excited about this concept to begin with is to play these classics in their orginal pixelated glory. The only games I would support doing this on is the N64 games because they all looked horribly pixelated and blocky, so they could use some smoothing out, but not any kind of real upgrade. I really hope Nintendo at least offers the original version as an alternative or this may turn off a lot of the old school hardcore crowd they were hoping to attract.

Finally, I saw The Longest Yard today, and I can say it is easily the worst movie I have seen this year. The jokes are all painful, the performances are horrible, it badly needs at least 30 minutes cut out, and by the time they get to the big game, you just don't care. I have rarely ever wanted 113 minutes back so badly in my entire life.

I see lots of dead people...

Ok, since I have several planned posts on specific topics this week, I thought I would talk about this weekend's movies a few days early, especially since none of them seem particularly appealing. First up is Lindsay Lohan in yet another tepid remake of a mediocre original-Herbie Fully Loaded. Granted, it's probably the last chance you'll get to see her as a hot curvy redhead as she's become a bad Paris Hilton imitator, but that's not really enough reason to go see this pathetic attempt to milk money out of a franchise that nobody cared about to begin with.
And then we turn to the latest TV show turned movie-Bewitched. Granted, unlike most remakes, it's actually got a pretty solid cast behind it-Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, and Michael Caine, but again, the question becomes does anybody care? Bewitched wasn't even that good of a show to begin with.
Finally, there is George Romero's return to the genre he created with Land of The Dead. Now I loved Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, and the last few zombie films (28 Days Later, the new Dawn of the Dead) have been pretty entertaining. But Romero is insisting on the traditional slow-moving zombies, which have always been a huge plothole to me-If these zombies are not only incredibly slow but completely brainless, how is it that they haven't just been eliminated? And as good as Romero's first two zombie films were, his third, Day of the Dead was a complete joke and he hasn't really done anything worthwhile since then, so I'm not too sure it'll be worth checking out either.
Although Batman Begins hasn't even been out two weeks, there is already a huge buzz about the sequel. Apparently, all the key actors will be back, except Katie Holmes (which is probably a good thing, as she was at best ineffectual), and it's most likely that the new villain will be the Joker, and early reports indicate that there is a push to get Mark Hamill the role. This may seem like an odd choice, but anyone who is a Batman fan knows that Mark Hamill has been the animated voice of the Joker for years in various shows and movies, and he's done a brillaint job, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch (although given Hamill is in his mid-50s, they may opt for someone younger).
Halo is coming to a theatre near you. But all that has really been decided so far is that Fox and Universal are teaming up to make the film. Now, even though he's far from a brillaint director, I think this is material that is straight up Jerry Bruckheimer's alley, so it would be smart to get him on it, and I think The Rock would also be a good choice for the role of Master Chief. But just don't let Uwe Boll (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark) anywhere near it, and it should have a decent chance of being the first good video game movie (I have little hope for the upcoming Doom movie).
That's really all for now, but I'll be back later on in the day with thoughts on the newest game releases and some other news that has happened recently...

6/16/2005

Those who do not learn from history....

One of the oldest and most true adages of all time, yet we constantly see people who flagrantly ignore it and suffer the consequences. With that in mind, it appears that Sony & Toshiba's talks about coming up with some sort of compromise between the Blu-Ray Format & DVDHD format have compltely fallen through. Now, there's going to be a winner and a loser here for sure, but the suprise is that it will most likely be Sony. Why? Let's hit the way back machine and go back in time to the betamax vs. vhs wars.
Sony was fully behind their format betamax, and why shouldn't they be, it was better quality than vhs, surely people would want better quality, right? But betamax was more expensive for both the studios and the consumer, so vhs won out. Once again, we have the exact same situation coming up. DVDHD has far less capacity than Blu-ray, but it's far easier to develop for and significantly cheaper to make, so when the average consumer looks at a DVDHD and a blu-ray dvd and notices the price difference, they'll go for what leaves a little more in their wallet, especially when they have to pick a dvd player that will play just one format (wanna bet the Blu-ray players will cost significantly more as well?). Heck, if DVDHD's are noticably more expensive than the current standard format, the average comsumer may just say screw it and stick with what they've already got.

Ok, I completely forget to mention last time that I did see Mr. & Mrs. Smith over the weekend, and it was a very fun popcorn flick without a whole lot of rhyme or reason, but plenty of good action to make up for that. I also saw Batman Begins today and I think it's easily the best Batman movie done yet and could be argued as the best superhero movie I've ever seen (that's right, better than Spider-Man 2).

6/14/2005

Ressurecting the Dark Knight

It wasn't the Joker, It wasn't Bane, hell it wasn't even some laughable villain like The Ventriloquist. In the end the one who was finally able to basically kill off Batman was Joel Schumacher and his insistance on a campy, nipple-suit filled film with horrid acting and ridiculous casting choices (Ahnuld as Mr. Freeze? a very non-athletic Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl?) that really did in the caped crusader's movie career. After all, although Batman has still thrived very well in comics and TV, it took nearly a decade to get him back onto the big screen, and it was a long and ever-evolving journey. How do restore faith in a franchise that left such a thoroughly bad taste in everybody's mouth?

There were probably a ton of ideas. Maybe leaving Batman dead and buried and showing what Gotham was like without him would've been an ideal choice? Really, no idea seemed too out there in breathing badly needed new life into the franchise. For awhile there was even serious effort to get out a Batman/Superman film to pump new life into both franchises. But what's coming out tommorow is more a result of Christopher Nolan's vision. Going back to the beginning, showing how and why Batman is Batman, and making Gotham a more real and gritty place, where Batman would really standout rather than seem right at home like he did in previous films. And the early reviews seem to indicate that this approach has worked in bringing back the franchise from beyond. I'm hoping they are right, and the previews do look very impressive, but I did see one preview where Christian Bale's scary Batman voice sounded more like he just had a really sore throat, which causes me to worry some.

I finally picked up the first season of Scrubs & the first two seasons of Newsradio, easily two of the best comedies of the last decade, and both were not given enough of a push by the now dead last NBC (granted, Newsradio lost an integral cast member when Hartman died, the show was definitely never the same and somewhat deservedly slowly died off after, but there's no excuse for them not pushing Scrubs as their premiere sitcom if not the best show on their network). Any fan of truly brilliant comedy needs to go pick these up. That's all for today....

6/10/2005

Nothing solves marital issues like a little espionage

A lot of different movies open this weekend, but honestly the only one that seems worth seeing is Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It's a real shame a film that looks almost guaranteed to be the slickest action film this summer has been overshadowed with the nation's disturbing obsession with famous people's sex lives. The reviews of been really good so far and anything from the director of The Bourne Identity is gonna be awesome.

The other offering just seem like pure dreck. Hooneymooners is an insult to Jackie Gleason and Art Carney and everybody who made that brilliant sitcom that basically set the standard for guys like Fred Flinstone, Al Bundy, Homer Simpson and every lovable loser since then. The mere fact that the studio wouldn't even put in Ralph's famous "Bam! Zoom! Right to the Moon!" line (and all his variations on it) because they feared it would be seen as supporting violence against women makes it a certainty that this will be a humorless, painful affair to anyone unfortunate enough to waste money on it.

High Tension is yet another thriller from a foreign land, this time France. Now, the reviews have been solid, but any horror film I've seen over the last decade, American or otherwise, has been laughably awful at best(for some reason critics have a weird reverance for foreign & independent films, even though they make just as many crappy films as big budget Hollywood does). Plus it looks like a bad Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip off.

The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3D is the latest family offering from Robert Rodriguez, and like his other family offerings, it should fill you with dread. The Spy Kids series was severely overrated and Rodriguez just seems so much more in is element when he is doing extremely visceral and violent movies like Sin City, From Dusk Til Dawn & Desperado.

And then there's Howl's Moving Castle, the lastest from Miyazaki, which I think will be like all of his films-Brilliant animation, but thin plot and atrocious dialogue. More evidence of the sacred cow that reviewers to think foreign films are.

Video Game wise-two big releases are out this week-Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for Xbox, I more or less said what I thought about this way back when I first started up this blog, but I"ll expand on it a bit here. I think the GTA series has more or less peaked with Vice City. It had just about everything you could ever want to do in a violent crime game, and had incredibly cool nostalgia feel to it. San Andreas by comaprison, just felt like it added tons of stuff that wasn't necessary and was really boring-namely exercise & calorie-counting. It's bad enough we have to do this stuff in real life if we want to live past 40, we don't want it in videogames.

The other would be the latest WWII shooter Medal of Honor: European Assault. Forget banning violent video games, let's at least put some kind of moratorium on historical shooters. These things seem to be multiplying like tribbles, and they won't stop till all other genres are ingored completely.

All right, that's really all I have for todya, but I'll most likely have an update Saturday or Sunday as well.

6/07/2005

They shoot horses....

So for a long while now I've been thinking about trading in my Xbox. Sure, there would be a couple of games I might miss out on and a few months of live I won't be able to take advantage of, but I thought I'd best do it soon. And upcoming games for the current platform will most likely be playable on the new one. Also, by showing a little patience I can probably also save a few bucks and pick them up for my new console at a nice used or discounted price. Then I pretty much realized the same thing applies to my Gamecube, so this morning I traded them both in. Now for the Xbox, this was a fairly easy decision as I think a few months away from live will only make me enjoy it more, and there are only a couple of Xbox titles I might initially miss out on and pick up a little after they are out. For the GC, it was a pretty painful one. Even though the system is clearly pretty much on it's last legs (despite what any insane fanboy will have you believe), they already have an early favorite for Game of the Year with the new Zelda game, and anyobody will tell you that it will most likely be worth buying a cube just for that game, and while I don't disagree with that, the economist in me reasons that no ONE game is worth keeping or buying a system for, especially when it's only going to go down in value, and probaly pretty damn soon. So, it will royally suck to wait a year after the game comes out to play the it on the Revolution, but it'll great to pick it up for only about twenty dollars or less.

Suprisingly, it's easily my PS2 that still has plenty of life left in it (at least gamewise, I finally had to trade in my old one that just barely works for a nice used slim PS2, good way for Sony to completely gaurauntee that there's no way I am picking up a PS3 at launch), as there are quite a few upcoming games I want for the system (mostly rpgs like Atelier Iris, Shadow Hearts 3, Kingdom Hearts 2, etc.). And if Sony keeps to their word, my PS2 will probably still have a couple more years before I really put it out to pasture (and with a 90 million+ user base, they have very good reason to keep supporting the system).

Ok, that's really all I have time for today, I'll finish up by saying I saw Cinderella Man on Sunday, and I'd rank it as an overall excellent movie that captures boxing really well with tremendous performances by Russell Crowe & Paul Giamatti (as for Renee Zelwegger, well...)

6/05/2005

Why the 360 will fail

Looking back through my last few posts, I realize I've probably lately sounded at best like a cautiously optimistic Microsoft fanboy, when in actuality I am far from it (heck, if anything I'm a diehard Sega fan, secretly hoping that they will one day return to consoles with a new system that will smite all opposers!!, ok that's probably saying too much). But the reality is that out of the 3 current consoles, I've probably gotten the best overall experience out of my Xbox. A steady flow of quality games(which the Gamecube seriously lacks in), an excellent online service(which both the GC & PS2 lack), and I've never had any serious problems with playing dvds or certain games that use certain types of formats that should work(this happens a frustrating amount on my PS2). But all the same, I got far more games for the PS2, and the same will probably hold true for the PS3 because they tend to have every type of game under the sun (especially in the rpg area, which is by far my favorite genre), and when you look at the Xbox library in comparison, it's marketing seems clearly designed for mostly drunk frat boys as it's filled with an overabundance of mostly mindless shooters and sports titles. So, while I honestly believe Microsoft will give Sony a much better run for their money in the next round of the console wars, their is a serious chance that they will be scrapping for a distant second with Nintendo just like this round, and here's why:

1. Too much belief in online-Now, I honestly believe that online gaming is the next big thing, but it's not there right now (out of over 20 million Xbox users, less than 2 million have live, not exactly a number to boast about), and it may take awhile to get there. And as someone who is recently new to the waters of online gaming (at least in it's current incarnation), it can be very rough going at first. Although I've met quite a few good friends, you definitely meet a large share of cheaters, idiots and total assholes (sadly, a large number meet all that criteria at once). I have a few friends who actually refuse to go online even though they have months of Xbox live left specifically because they've just dealt with way too many jerks to make it worthwhile. Also, while I love the potential idea of Microsoft's marketplace, where you can get demos & custom items; there's also a lot of potential for gamers to be pissed off by companies nickel & diming gamers to death, therefore turning them off the service and the 360 entirely. Microsoft is banking on this being their biggest gun in the next round and they could fall flat on their face because of that.

2. Coming out first-Just because Microsoft will be there first doesn't gaurauntee anything. It may give the impression that they are afraid to compete head to head with Sony. Sony is the gaming equivalent of the 800-pound gorrilla right now, they will launch when they want on their terms and they have no reason to think otherwise. It gives both Sony and Nintendo a chace to look at Microsoft's launch and plenty of time to see what they can do better. It's also a good bet that the PS3 games (at least any exclusives) will look noticeably better than any first gen 360 games (at least if Sony's reps aren't completely talking out of their ass), and better eye candy will do a lot to sell systems.

3. The Price war-We know the 360 will launch in the range of $300-350, which means it will probably be cheaper than the PS3, whose price could be significantly more, or it could be a lot closer in price with some Sony reps claiming it would probably be around $370-$400. And those numbers aren't that far apart, so who could blame someone who has to choose one system for spending just a little bit more on one that's supposedly significantly more powerful?And then there's Nintendo. We know that next gen games for the PS3 & 360 will likely hit the $60 range. With Nintendo's system being far less powerful, not only the system, but the games might be significantly cheaper. And With system exclusives becoming less & less common these days, There might be a huge backlash against both Sony & Microsoft for their high prices compared to Nintendo's.

4. The stagnation of the gaming industry-I know, with all the billions the gaming industry makes, the idea of the entire industry having another big crash like they did in the 80s seems nearly impossible. But they thought it was impossible back then too. And while I'm generally excited about what the next generation has to offer, we seem to be getting into a rut of "safe" titles-Lots of shooters (especially WWII-based ones), lots of games based off of TV shows or movies, or cookie-cutter sequels to already popular franchises. And that's mostly what we are seeing in the next generation as well so far, so why buy a new system that doesn't offer anything new in terms of gameplay? Seriously, if all the next gen systems offer is the same games with shinier graphics, the whole industry will pay for it. And while I believe Sony & Nintendo could easily survive a crash, Microsoft may pull out completely if the industry goes south considering how much of a bath they've already taken.

5. Concentrating on the American market-Gaming is a global thing, and while Microsoft has acknowledged that just concentrating on American gamers (and specifically virtually ignoring the very different Japanese market) was a mistake, and they are supposedly working to rectify that. But I'll believe it when I see it. Grabbing the cooperation of Squarenix (as well as acquiring Mistwalker studios, which is made up of former Squarenix alumni) is a big step foward in that direction, but the PS2 has always had a nice balance of big name titles and odd quirky ones, if Microsoft really wants to succeed, they need that sort of balance.

6. Everything to everyone-The more things a system can do, the more things can go wrong with it. I don't really intend to use most of the 360's "features", and I'd prefer it didn't have them to begin with. Besides adding to cost of the system, if something goes wrong with one particular feature, it could potentially affect the entire system, leaving gamers with a busted system because of a feature they don't even use and feeling ripped off because of it. Granted, Sony's doing virtually the same thing, but having crappy hardware that barely works didn't stop them last time.

7. Lack of HD-DVD or Blu-ray capability-One of these will be the next step in storage capacity, and despite J. Allard's claim of it being the "HD era", the 360 still uses a standard DVD drive, not compatible with either HD-DVDs or Blu-ray, both of which are capable of a lot more storage capacity. And Sony has clearly cast their vote in the Blu-ray corner, which can hold a massive amount comparatively. It's way too soon to tell whether HD-DVD or Blu-ray will become the definitive format, but since the 360 doesn't really support either, they could easily be left in the dust.

8. Lack of strong launch titles-With every current system, the initial launch sucked complete ass in terms of games. Usually one or two pretty good titles, and it was months before we saw a steady stream of quality titles start to turn up on a regular basis. And what do we have promised for launch? We can expect 15-20 titles, but we don't really know what aside from EA's 2006 sports titles (which you can pick up on all systems, and for ten bucks cheaper if the price raise actually happens) and Perfect Dark Zero & Kameo from Microsoft. That's really it. If the launch lineup doesn't deliver some mind-blowing stuff, it may be enough of a blow that Microsoft is never able to recover from.

9. Bill Gates is the devil-At least that's the perception in a lot of people's minds. At best, he's an outsider, just burning his company's money on another wacky idea and doesn't really care if it's succesful or not. After all, he's worth a couple billion all by his lonesome, how much capital do you think the damn company has stashed away? And with that perception in mind, alot of people may steer clear of the system just because it's supporting Gates, which plenty of people don't feel all that comfortable doing. Granted, it's the least likely legitimate reason, but any fanboy for Nintendo or Sony will probably use it as an excuse.

10. Abandoning their current user-base too early-Sony plans to fully support the PS2 for at least a couple more years, most likely so gamers can more easily transition into the next generation of hardware. Microsoft is pretty much abandoning their current console, thus burning some loyal customers in the process, and making them extremely weary that Microsoft may do the same thing next round.

So, as you can see, there are a lot of pitfalls Microsoft has to avoid if they really want a serious chance of duking it out and becoming the top dog in the console wars. Bottom line, it's going to take a lot of well-thought out strategy and plenty of good luck. But serious competition is good, so I'm hoping they (or by some miracle Nintendo) are able to pull a tight race because close competition will be good for ALL of us gamers.

6/02/2005

Battle of the biopics

Two very different biopics open this weekend-Cinderella Man & Lords of Dogtown. Cinderella Man is the latest shot at Oscar from the powerhouse assembly of Russel Crowe, Paul Giamatti, Renee Zelwegger, Ron Howard & Brian Grazer. It's about depression-era fighter Jim Braddock, who pulled off a miracle comeback in the boxing world. I expect it to be a fairly formulaic sports movie, but as long as it's done well, there's nothing wrong with that.
Lords of Dogtown is actually based off the documentary, Dogtown and the Z-boys, which featured a group of skaters that revolutionized the sport in the 70s and made it possible for guys like Tony Hawk to make a living off skateboarding. Skateboarding movies are usually pure garbage, although the superb directing ability of Catherine Hardwicke (Thirteen) may make this the first one actually worth checking out (although critics seem to be saying otherwise so far).

The movie Serenity takes place 6 months after the last episode of Firefly that was made (this is another show I HIGHLY reccomend picking up, it's just a shame only 13 episodes were made). But a guy like Malcolm Reynolds can't possibly stay out of trouble that long, so if you want to know what happened between the end of the show and the start of the movie, Joss Whedon is making a short run (three issues, I think) comic that shows what adventures the crew of Serenity have in the mean time. I haven't read comics in over a decade, but I might pick these up if they are by some miracle able to capture the humor and spirit of the show.

I've already beaten Advent Rising on easy(that's right not even a full day!), so while I had fun, I wouldn't reccomend a purchase. It was a very fun 10-hour roller coaster(like most good action games these days), although admittedly the frame rate could've used a lot of smoothing out. But I can't wait for the next two entries as the story, cinemas and music were all top notch.

The big shocker of game news this week has been that the PS3 may not come with a hard drive. Now, if you want to just play games on it (like I will), it probably won't be a huge deal and like the PS2 you can probably pick up a rather inexpensive memory card of some sort. Unfortunately, the problem is that you won't be able to do all the things out of box the 360 can do with it's standard 20 gig hard drive (stream music, record videos, not have to buy memory cards in the first place), and I think Sony will probably charge a ridiculous price (just look at any decent storage device for the PSP, they are ridiculously overpriced).

All right, that's really I have for today, til next time....

5/29/2005

If I had a million dollars....

So, I didn't really get around to seeing either the Longest Yard or Madagascar this weekend, but I'll probably catch them a little later in the week. In the meantime, I'd like to talk about the first Xbox game I've been really excited about in awhile-Advent Rising. Pretty much the easiest way to describe it is if you put Halo & The Matrix in a blender, this would be the most likely result (the lead character even bears an eerie resemblance to Keanu Reeves, if he says "whoa", or "I know Kung Fu" at any point in the game, the Wachowskis should sue). You play one of the few remaining humans in the universe, so long forgotten that most regard humanity itself as a myth. From the previews it's sort of unclear why or how, but you get imbued with special powers to take on a race of aliens known as The Seekers. But this promises to be more than a mishmash of two popular franchises, as the story is written by Orson Scott Card, who is probably most famous for writing the cult classic Ender's Game. And to sweeten the pot, the first 500,000 who buy the game (and have Xbox live) have a chance to win one million dollars by finding special easter eggs hidden throughout the game that are downloaded through Xbox live. Granted, I'm not really expecting to get the million, but it's way better odds than the lottery and a man can dream! I know most people would probably buy a bunch of stuff with it, but as I previously stated, I'm fairly frugal, so I'd probably just get a decent apartment in an inexpensive city where I could get a nice gaming setup and just hoard the rest like a little old miser. I might also change my name given all the bad stories I've read about people who win big money.

Coming back to reality, we finally have some not exactly earth-shattering confirmations by J. Allard (who, thanks to the guys at Penny Arcade, I will from now on refer to as Microsoft's offical pirate, cause they are right, he looks like one with that bald head and cheesy earring) about the Xbox 360. First up, he said it would deinfitely be in the "neighborhood" of $300. While this makes a 299 price point unlikely, it's probably going to be $330, but almost definitely won't be more than $350. Not a huge suprise, but it's nice to hear it definitely won't be something outrageous like $400. And he confirmed it will launch in mid-november, again not a huge surprise, but it's nice to have a good idea of when it will be out for sure. Now if we can just get confirmation that next gen games will definitely not be 59.99 as most sites have been listing, I can die a happy gamer (uh, not before the 360 comes out, though...)

5/26/2005

"The PS3 is not a game machine"

That's more words of wisdom from Ken Kutaragi in his latest interview, Sony's Emperor (uh, I mean President). I'm seriously starting to think Sony has become the arrogant ass Nintendo used to be when they ruled the console world, truly believing they can do no wrong. Now, to be completely fair, they had the best overall showing at E3. No one can deny the awesomeness of the PS3 videos we saw, real or not, and they showed very strong support for the PS2, with plenty of games I am very interested in (even if most are out next year). But they keep shooting themselves in the foot with their strategies or lack thereof. First up, they claim that they see the PS2 as having a ten-year life cycle. Well, if that's the case, then why the hell should I ditch my PS2 if it still has a few good years left? We know that the Xbox & GC have max 1 year left, so there's not really much of a reason to hold onto those systems much longer, Sony is in effect competing against itself in this way, and as impressive as those videos were, we know what we saw for the 360 is going to look BETTER at launch because the games were running on underpowered test units. Odds are that the PS3 games are going to look worse (but hey, if I'm wrong I'll gladly pick up a PS3 as soon as there's a quality rpg on it, just like I did with PS2).

Secondly, and probably Sony's biggest mistake is their online strategy, or lack thereof. In a recent interview, a top Sony rep stated that they don't really plan on changing their current online plan of letting the game publishers do all the work. So, there's an immediate slight advantage in that in a sense, Sony's online service for the PS3 will be completely free like it is for the PS2. The problem? The system sucks right now. It's complete and utter chaos when you compare it to Microsoft's slick and fairly inexpensive setup ($50 a year isn't much to ask, folks) that allows for a fairly universal interface, not to mention ONE username and password for most games (I think EA has a seperate setup, but that's one more reason to hate EA), whereas if you play games online with the PS3, you'll theoretically have different user names, passwords and friends lists (assuming they even have those) for EVERY SINGLE GAME! That's just massive insanity keeping all that crap straight. This pretty much garauntees I will not be playing any online games for the PS3 because it's just an incredibly clumsy and lame setup. And, while online gaming isn't currently the monster Microsoft claims it to be, it will get there in a couple of years and this will hurt Sony in the long run when people actually start caring about a simple, easy to use online system.

And then there's Katarugi's latest. The PS3 isn't a gaming machine? Well, I and millions of others gamers get news for you Kenny, WE WANT A FUCKING GAMING MACHINE!!! Microsoft may offer different types of entertainment on their upcoming console, but they made one thing perfectly clear: it's mainly a gaming machine that can do other stuff, not some machine that can play games. I know that may not sound different, but the bottom line is that if the PS3 isn't optimized to mainly play games, we won't get the best games possible out of that system now matter how many numbers you throw at us. That's why most people buy consoles and not computers to play games, especially in this next generation, where the difference between a high-end game console and a decent computer isn't much in terms of price. Pretty much the only smart thing to come out of anyone from Sony is that they are reportedly saying the PS3 will be around $370, still a bit high for my tastes, but if the 360 is truly going to be around $350 or even $400 as some early reports are saying, I wouldn't blame anyone for choosing a PS3 if it's only a little more or especially if it's less.

Moving on, this weekend we have two somewhat interesting selections for movie goers. First up, is Madagascar, the latest generic CG film from Dreamworks. I'm sure it will be fun for kids, but aside from the psychotic penguins, this seems to be yet another tepid "safe" film for kids much in the vein of Robots. I like the the film is obviously more focused on visual style than pure technical prowess, but the previews and reviews seem to point to another fairly bland movie that you can take the whole family to, but only kids will really enjoy.
And then there's The Longest Yard, from the critics' favorite whipping boy, Adam Sandler. Now, Sandler has done some true stinkers the last few years (Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, Eight Crazy Nights, 50 First Dates), and although it was good, no one really went to see Spanglish because it wasn't his usual frat boy antics. I think it actually looks like stupid fun, like Sandler's best films, and I expect to go in and just have a good dumb time at a good dumb movie, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and play my GAMING MACHINE.....

5/20/2005

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

A lot of this past week was about faith. Not religious, of course, better described a faith of the geeks. Faith that Lucas would finally deliver a movie at least somewhat worthy of the massive legion of fans his films have created of the past 28 years, and depending on what camp you were in (Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo), faith to deliver one hell of a knockout blow to doubters and competition at this week's Electronic Entertainment expo. In some aspects, that faith in all respects was probably shaken, or certainly not given any sort of renewed zeal.

In the case of Epsiode III, it was more of keeping faith that Lucas hadn't totally lost it. It was far, far better than the pathetic hack jobs that Episodes I & II were, but a the same time, many lines of dialogue and wooden acting nearly sunk the movie. And we have to fault Lucas, becasue we've all seen this fine ensemble cast do some great acting in other films. Plus, I think many fans complaints that the Jedi are painted as somewhat weak in the movie is pretty damn valid (I don't want to spoil anything for those who haven't seen yet, so I won't elaborate on it). Yet, I'd still rank it as pretty good and the third best movie in the series (behind IV & V, I'm really not a big fan of VI). So ultimately, enough of my faith (and apparently most others from the most reactions so far) was restored that I am overall satisfied and am interested in the new Star Wars series coming soon to TV.

In the case of E3, I think faith was lessened on all sides. From what I've seen and read, it was a good show, no doubt, but way more downs than ups. Despite Sony's extremely impressive video conference, it would appear that nothing that was suppossed to be PS3 was actually running on PS3 hardware, just a suppossed approximation of what the PS3 is supposedly capable of. Suddenly we harken back to when Sony debuted the PS2 and promised "Toy Story" quality graphics, on which they didn't deliver. Then there's the design aspects. Not only does the PS3 system look pretty damn hideous (and that may not matter to some, but when everyone is touting how "sexy" their stuff is these days, it matters a lot in the eyes of your average consumer who is concerned with how this system would look in an entertainment center). The controllers look like Batarangs, so hopefully, that'll change before launch. And there are very strong rumors that the PS3 will retail for about $460, which they may feel justified since they claim their system knocks the others out of the park in technology, but I think that's above a lot of people's price thresholds. Plus, my fellow GUG'er Charred has come up with a pretty good comparison that shows the PS3 isn't really all it's cracked up to be when you really break the specs down. There were several games I was very interested in for the PS2 (Kingdom Hearts II, Final Fantasy XII, Okami & Phantasy Star Universe), but they are all way off, possibly next year.

As where Sony just seemed to keep going down, Microsoft had a lot of ground to make up. I tried to defend it eariler, but Microsoft blowing their wad so early was a horrible move in hindsight of what Sony had to show everyone. Whether or not PS3 could actually do this stuff is irrelevant at this point, Sony showed us a bunch of cool stuff we haven't seen before from franchises we love (Metal Gear, Devil May Cry, Tekken, Final Fantasy, etc.) as well as some new things. It was all new. Most of Microsoft's stuff had been leaked way earlier or shown at the pathetic infomercial on MTV prior to the event. Plus, Perfect Dark Zero, Microsoft's big gun, failed to impress with some really bad screenshots. Luckily, they did make up some ground-According to everyone who actually saw the game behind closed doors, Perfect Dark Zero actually looks and plays pretty damn good, but then why didn't us gamers get to see any of this? But if Perfect Dark Zero didn't take away gamers' collective breaths, Gears of War did. Plus the LONG delayaed Kameo (which was originally suppossed to be on the N64) was actually looking better and better with each new movie I saw. Plus, I think people are geniunely confused about the new levels of xbox live service, exactly what Xbox titles will work (what exactly would be the cutoff point for "best-selling"?), and if the 20 gig hard drive actually comes with every system or will be an add-on. The final verdict? I've reserved my 360 with an initial $50 down payment, but I'm ready to pull it immediately if I feel the price is too high ($350 is pretty much my price threshold) or the software isn't up to snuff. As far as current Xbox titles, I can say that I'll probably be getting X-Men Legends II, but that'll be available for all systems, so once again not much to look foward to.

And Nintendo continues to march to it's own drummer. I think they definitely have the right attitude about the console wars no longer being a pissing contest in terms of pure power, but they had a pretty quiet and just plain weird showing otherwise. Aside from Zelda, there was nothing noteworthy for the Gamecube (maybe Fire Emblem, that's about it). Do we really need a Game Boy that's roughly the size of an Ipod shuffle? It's too small for anyone over age 8 and I can see anyone that age a younger losing something like that quite easily. And then there's Nintendogs. Is everybody at Nintendo fucking high? I was hoping that I had seen the last of that whole "virtual pet" thing. I mean that's really the whole thing. You get a pet dog, and you pet it, feed it, clean up after it and eventually make it fat enough to sell to a Asian restauraunt for their "puppy chow" special (at least if I have anything to say about the game, that'll be in there). It's the same huge problem I have with the Sims games as well. You don't really play these games, they play you.

Overall, what all three companies really failed to do was make you think that your current system sucks ass and you need to upgrade, which they were all able to accomplish last time. I hold high hopes for the next generation, but also no rush to jump into it (my 360 reservation notwithstanding, I will definitely wait on PS3 and probably not buy the Revolution right off the bat either unless it's unexpectedly cheap, which may end up being the case).

And I thought I'd end with my thoughts on some odd but possibly very inpsired casting choices. Kelsey Grammar as the blue furball Beast in the new X-Men movie is a stroke of genius. Sure, he obviously can't do anything physically required of the part, but he's perfect to play the voice of the most intelligent mutant in comic book history. It will be interesting to see how they blend him into what will obviously be a mostly CGI character, but if they pull it off, it'll be great to see. Then there's Topher Grace in the new Spider-Man flick. The only comment is that he will play an unspecified villain. Grace is a great actor, but I just can't honestly think of a noteworthy Spidey villain he could pull off. He's obviously too small to play Venom, and if they are going to do the Green Goblin, it has to be James Franco since he is Osbourne's son. And to be honest, most of the other Spider-Man villains are far too hokey for me to think about (maybe Mysterio, but he was a pretty lame villain, so I hope they don't use him). Until next time...

5/17/2005

The next generation, Round 1-Draw?

Well, the first salvos have been fired, and I'm not really sure who's come out on top. All the systems look really slick, but there's been some major missteps on everybody's part. But I will say at the same time, unless something major changes, I plan all getting all 3 (just not necessarily at launch). The Big N arguably has the coolest straight out design, but we already know their system is the least powerful for the next round(easy math, Revolution is 2 or 3 times more powerful, 360 is 13 times more powerful & PS3 is 35 times more powerful) and there was no gameplay footage shown whatsoever and nothing about a general release date(but they will also probably be significantly cheaper than 360 or PS3, which will help). Honestly the only cool thing to come out of their preliminary press conference was the new trailer for the latest Zelda game for the GC-where a lot of incredible gameplay footage was shown, including Link turning into a wolf that is ridden by a mysterious character. It'll be probably just enough reason to hold on to my GC a little longer, but that seems to be Nintendo's specialty, giving you just enough and not even a bit more (i.e. though not shown, Nintendo's official asskicker, Reggie Fills-Aime mentioned that Smash Bros. will be on the Revolution and will have Wi Fi capability, that's really all I need).

Microsoft, having already blown their load early, showed several upcoming games and talked about how their console will be everything to everyone. That's great, but I want my console to play videogames, not be some ridiculously overpriced media center. And while some titles looked pretty damn cool (Morrowind IV), Most looked skecthy at best. And what was suppossed to be the premier title, Perfect Dark Zero, was a no show. Even more troubling was Bill Gates recent statement that Sony would definitely be going up against Halo 3 when they launch(which is officially next Spring), but no footage of Halo 3 was shown either. But what officially got me onboard is that they will have Final Fantasy XI, which I didn't even consider a realistic possibility, and there will be limited backwards compatability (big selling titles like Halo 2 will work for sure, but I probably won't be playing Worms 3D or Phantom Dust on the system). Also, not one upcoming Xbox title has got me excited, at least not any exclusives.

And then there's Sony. I will officially say that the video for Killzone 2 (check it out at Gametrailers) had me saying "holy shit!" out loud several times. But given that the last Killzone was an incredible graphical feat, but sorely lacked in gameplay, it's not enough to make me want the system. Plus, not one other title really gave any good impressions. They gave a vague launch date of Spring 2006 (and I still say that's a bad time to launch any system). And given that they easily will have the most powerful console (and feel they can do no wrong), their system may be significantly costlier than others. Add that in with Sony's tradition of extremely buggy hardware, and they actually come out not looking any better than Microsoft. And aside from Kingdom Hearts II, I can't honestly say there's many PS2 games on the horizon I'm looking foward to.

Now, there's still a few days left, but considering how much the last generation blew us away, this isn't a great start. I'm not saying I'm not geniunely excited about these new systems, but not with the level of pure awe and glee I felt the last time. And to lessen that glee, EB games has officially started accepting preorders on Xbox 360 games at 59.99. While it's not official, it's damn likely, which means I'll be a lot more finicky about my next gen purchases.

5/15/2005

Kicking it Old School....

I really intended to do a big summer preivew, but I've just honestly been tired this weekend and there isn't a real comprehensive list of what's coming out and when for the next 3 months (especially if I wanted to include smaller releases), so I apologize to anybody who was expecting one.

Moving on, I saw Unleashed on friday, and it was pretty damn good. Jet Li won't be stealing any oscars soon, but he gave a surpsingly good dramatic turn and the story was told very well which is incredibly rare for any action film, but especially a martial arts one. My only complaint would be that his female co-star was like an annoyingly bratty 12-year old you just hoped would die the whole film, but luckily the other elements make up for that fact.

Ok, I have now had Xbox live for about 3 months, and I love it, but there's one thing I think is badly missing: Old School arcade games! I know what some of you will say, xbox live already offers a service that provides old school style games. But the fact is that the only worthwhile game they offer is Ms. Pacman.which comes free with the starter disc. The others are fairly bad and overpriced knockoffs (it'a roughly $10 a game, which is ridiculous for something that can be made over a weekend). And hey, I'm enough of an old school nut that I'd pay $10 for the right titles, but how about offering ones that are actually old school favorites: Dig Dug, Gauntlet, Altered Beast, River City Ransom, Joust. They offer lots of these in nifty little compilations, there's reason they couldn't offer online versions (like they did with the Street Fighter Anniversary collection). I think that's exactly what would help get even more casual people int Xbox and xbox live (not online "chess" as Peter Moore has suggested). There's very minimal investment and all the old school gamers it would attract would be a no-brainer, so hopefully they'll do it soon since the basic technology is already in place. That's just my thoughts on the subject. Until next time....

5/13/2005

360 degrees of HOLY ^%$#@

Ok, so I watched the MTV half hour special, and quite frankly, was less than impressed. They were very sketchy about ANY details, the celebs obviously had no clue (except maybe Elijah Wood, as he has a reputation as a gamer), and while Perfect Dark Zero sounded incredibly awesome, we barely got to really see any of it (and none of the others games showed anything that would qualify as impressive gameplay graphics). In essence, it was like any other MTV "special" full of flash and completely lacking in any sort of actual substance. It was smart of MS to appeal to the mainstream like that, so I don't fault them for going to MTV and using a bunch of celebrities that couldn't tell an Xbox from a toaster oven, but that isn't going to sell me, the hardcore gamer who if you get his attention will sell blood and undergo experiments if that's what it takes to be able to afford a system.
But what did really get me excited was IGN's very detailed 6 page article devoted to all the ins and outs of the Xbox 360. I'm not much of a techhead, so things like processor power won't actually mean anything to me until I actually see what it can do in actual gameplay, but all the nifty little bits got me very excited. Although it's almost assured there will be multiple versions of xbox available, the core unit itself will most definitely come with a massive hard drive, and most are expecting a base price point of $300 for that system. The ones fully decked out will probably be significantly more, but If 300 is all I'm paying and it plays games and my dvds, I'll be extremely pleased. The features I like most are that I can just transfer over my xbox live service with no problem and I can upload tracks from my ipod (which is something I have badly wanted to do since I got my shuffle).

But there are still some issues. While I obviously see the convienence of wireless controllers, depending on battery life, keeping those suckers powered could easily eat up a lot of money very quickly. I'm hoping there's some sort of alternative option at launch if not soon after.

Backwards compatibility also hasn't been answered one way or the other. I think at this point it would be a wise idea since that would instantly give us gamers a good variety of Xbox live games if nothing else, because we really don't know what launch titles will be available.

Which leads me to my next issue-Launch games. Aside from the obvious sports titles, nothing has been officially tagged, not even Perfect Dark Zero (although if that doesn't launch with the system, it may be lacking a much needed killer app, so it's 99.9% likely), and none of the the current generation of consoles had a particularly solid launch lineup. It was usually one really good game and it took awhile for all the systems before solid games started coming out at a regular rate (and it never really happened for Gamecube, there's really only one good game every 6 months for that system).

So, while I'm not officially on the Xbox bandwagon, I will probably be eating Cup O' Noodles for the next 7 months so I can have enough to splurge if I really want to....

5/11/2005

Coming Full Circle

I bought my Epsiode III ticket yesterday. I tried not to be optimistic given the last two, but the early critical buz is actually pretty good and the each new preview looks better, so I'm officially extremely pumped for the final movie installment. Not so pumped that I'll be going to a midnight showing or waiting hours in line, but I'm officially excited to see the film.

I also saw Kingdom of Heaven over the weekend, and it was pretty entertaining. Not as good as Gladiator, but far better than Troy. Ridley Scott knows how to make awesome battle scenes. So see in it the theatres, as it will definitely lose something on the small screen.

Tommorow at 9 on MTV, the Xbox 360(the most likely name for MS' new console) is finally going to be officially unveiled to the public(thereby giving me actual reason to watch the channel). Now, pictures have supposedly leaked to several gaming sites already, but I tend not to really trust those sort of things until I see them with my own eyes. And of course, all sort of implications come with this. Console pricing, backwards compatability, etc. The most important aspect being game pricing, as there is an ongoing debate whether or not we are likely to see games rise above the magic $50 barrier they have been at for over a decade to $60 or even $70. On some level, I can see the reasoning behind this, as games are getting more and more costly to produce, but the game industry should take a REAL close look at both the music & movie industry, both of which after a few steady years of rising prices, have suffered some severe backlash, with profits way down. And with games being even more expensive, all but the hardcore will balk at significantly higher prices. I am considered a fairly hardcore gamer, but I'm fairly picky about what I actually buy, it probably only averages out to about 20 games a year out of out the hundreds that come out all year. I'd expect that to drop significantly if the price goes up and the same will probably go for most gamers, especially the casual ones that all companies are vying for. One solution that I think is viable is offering premium downloadable content, but that may also lead to greedy companies not even selling finished gamess & then charging you just so you can get the last few levels. And as far as the next generation blowing us all away, I've seen "footage" of several games so far (Madden 2006, Dark Sector, Alan Wake) and they either look like cheesy tech demos or lacking any sense of artistic creativity. But nothing's really official until E3 next week, so I'll hold off on any real opinions until we see what is actually going on.

Several interesting choices are coming out in theatres this weekend. The one I'm most interested in seeing is Unleashed with Jet Li & Morgan Freeman. Li hasn't really made a good transition into American films, but this looks very promising with lots of good action and an actual story to boot. Kicking & Screaming is Will Ferrel's latest, and while a terrible coach taking over a bad team is hardly anything new, Ferrel is worth seeing in just about anything. Mindhunters, a thriller about a group of profilers trapped by a serial killer who may be one of them seems intruiging, but it was also supposed to be out last summer and got pushed back for some unknown reason. This usually screams bad film.
And finally there is Monster-in-Law, with Jennifer Lopez, Jane Fonda and Michael Vartan (Alias). While I see some potential here, it seems pretty obvious that this relies far too much on the mother being a complete whackjob, which means this is another thing that would probably be funny as a short sketch but not enough filler for a feature film. Plus, the last good film Lope did was The Cell, which I think was way back in 99'. But I can honestly say I have at least some interest in seeing every major release this weekend, which is a huge change from the last 5 or 6 months.

Ok, that's really all for today, but I intend to be back on Friday with a BIG summer movie preview in addition to my usual thoughts on daily happenings.

5/06/2005

Attack of the Sequels Part XXVVVIIIIXXXIIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXI

Sequels are of course the bread and butter of the entertainment industry, and while most rightfully decry sequels as creatively bankrupt factory-assembled money machines, I also have to play devil's advocate as someone who enjoys seeing the new adventures of characters I enjoy spending a couple of hours with. I'm hopeful about the upcoming Shrek films (word is there's going to be at least two more) because the first two were damn enetertaining. I'm hopeful about the reported 4 upcoming Spider-Man films (Sony wants a total of six and Director Ted Raimi sees no problem with making that many as long as he's still invested in doing them, whatever that means).
But now we are getting sequels nobody wants from marginally succesful or just plain horrid movies or long dead franchises we no longer care about at a increasingly alarming rate. In addition to recent pure crap sequels like Ring 2, Miss Congeniality 2 & XXX: State of the Union, sooner or later we are going to see follow ups to Mrs. Doubtfire, Cheaper By The Dozen, Basic Instinct, Conan, House of The Dead, Resident Evil, The Grudge, Jurassic Park, Meet The Parents, Austin Powers, Fast and the Furious, Die Hard, Independence Day, Jumanji, The Mummy, Night of the Living Dead, The Punisher, Scary Movie, Scooby Doo, Garfield, Saw, Terminator and many, many others. It's obviously overkill when you are making sequels to movies that no one cares about anymore or didn't even care about in the first place. Is it any wonder ticket revenues keep going down even though ticket prices keep going up? It's really hard to justify spending any amount of money to see these sequels either because you know 99.9% of them are going to be inferior to the previous film which in most cases was not even worht seeing to begin with. The real problem is that studio execs obviously don't see the long term consequences of this practice. It may not even be anytime relatively soon, but eventually either the moviegoing crowd gets tired of it or the stars get tired of it or just too old to do it anymore and suddenly, the studio is screwed since they were too busy developing sequels in order to develop any original properties. Now if you'll excuse me I have to start developing my script for Howard The Duck 2....

5/04/2005

I'm gonna party like it's 1199...

Marking his 5 billionth appearance in some film about an epic war, Orlando Bloom's latest periodic war epic-Kingdom of Heaven opens this friday. It's hardly the first movie about the crusades Although I've certainly had my fill of overblown war epics lately, the fact that Ridley Scott (Gladiator) directed this one gives me some hope, and it's certainly a much more appealing option than House of Wax, which is yet another remake of a remake (there should be a law against more than one remake of a film) of a craptacular horror film with yet another cast of disposable young "actors" (Elisa Cuthbert has yet to prove she can act to me, and she's the best of the motley crew of WB rejects in this film). I mean seriously, when your biggest star is literally Paris Hilton, I'd rather see something with a bunch of rejects from the Pauly Shore acting academy (no that doesn't actually exist. yet.)

The Epsiode III video game is out this week, which is an interesting move since you know it has to be filled with spoilers, yet it's out a full two weeks before the movie. As if that wasn't enough , all of the action-based Star Wars games so far have been disturbingly mediocre at best, so I'm not sure whether to be hyped about this game or not. Also out for Xbox is Pariah, the latest me-too shooter, which seems decent enough but I honestly think no one will be puting away Halo 2 until Half-Life 2 finally surfaces later this summer.

That's really all I have for today, news and releases have sort of slowed to a crawl until E3 happens and the summer season really starts kicking off, but I'll hold off talking about those until we get closer to the actual dates, but I'll definitely be back this weeknd with something else. Until then...

5/01/2005

Damn the broccoli, damn you and damn the wright brothers!

That is one of the many gems from Stewie, the baby with a giant head who wants to tale over the world and kill his mother. And if you have no clue what I'm talking about, get off your ass and go pick up the first 3 seasons of Family Guy on DVD RIGHT NOW. Go ahead. I'll wait till you come back....

Ok, that was long enough. In case you don't know, Family Guy was initially concieved as a ill-fated Simpsons wannabe (and still may be considered such by some hardcore fans), and like many high quality shows, it never got the proper promotion or any real chance to grow by its moronic network (FOX) but yet held on a few seasons till Fox finally canned it. But, proving that cancellation means nothing, it became a humongous hit on dvd and the cartoon network, and amazingly, Fox has ressurected it and new episodes begin airing this Sunday, essentially giving some ray of hope to all campaigns for shows that were canceled before their time (maybe I'll start a campaign for new Adventures of Brisco County Jr.! I loved that show!). But my hunch is that FOX knows the Simpsons is on it's last legs and they are looking for anything that can possibly take the reigns of their biggest remaining non-reality show.

Speaking of ressurected shows, There is a new muppet tv show in production in England, and I pray to god we get to see it over here, because the muppets are always absolute gold. I still watch old episodes of the various tv shows and the older movies on ocassion. They should have a constant presence on TV until the end of time.

And finally, Kevin Smith (AKA Silent Bob) has seen Episode III and posted a review up at his website-viewaskew.com. It's supposedly full of spoilers, so I haven't bothered reading it, but he apparently was extremely impressed with it, which is a good sign considering how much of a fanatic he is of the franchise. That's really all I have for today, be sure to check out Family Guy tonight on Fox so they don't cancel it again!

4/28/2005

It's the end of the world and I feel fine

In both movies and video games, the end of the world is an extremely popular and overused setting. Two releases in both mediums take a rather interesting approach to it this week. First up is the long-awaited release of a film version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. If you don't know the story, this is a based on a book that is considered by most a cult classic where the Earth is destoryed at the beginning. Although it looks like a really solid cast with high production values, I'm worried that the traditional Disney treatement will butcher it horribly, since they have a very low success rate with live-action films. Also out in theatres is the new XXX, but considering how horrendously pathetic the last film was, this has to be an improvement but that's not saying much.

Stella Deus would be the other end of the world title-The world is coming to end end with the land being consumed by a deadly mist-The answer, just let it happen! That's the attitude of most of the world in this game-we're all doomed, so let's just wallow in apathy! Of course, not for your intrepid adventurers, or else there wouldn;t be much of a game. This is a strategy-rpg much in the veins of FF tactics & Disgaea. It's nothing revolutionary (literally every little idea and gimmick has been done before, but this game mixes them nicely, which is pretty rare anyways), but any srpg nut will find this a good way to kill many hours.

I did catch Kung Fu Hustle on sunday, and while I highly reccomed it, I was somewhat suprised by the high level of violence. Director Stepehen Chow's previous effort, Shaolin Soccer, was mostly a family-friendly affair, Hustle is pretty brutal at some points, so be prepared if you are going in just expecting a harmless goofy film you can take the kids to as well.

After remaking the Texas Chainsaw Massacre into a complete joke and forcing a mediocre remake of the mediocre Amityville Horror on us, Michael Bay is set to update (meaning destroy) another "classic" horror film-The Birds. It may have be scary for it's time, but the film hasn't aged well, and there's actually been several really bad horror movies with birds as the villains since then. Can't Bay just stick to making cheesy over the top action films? At least those were enjoyable guilty pleasures, these are just embarassingly painful.

The saga will NEVER end, apparently. At a big Star Wars convention, Lucas made a rare appearance and announced that two new series based on the Star Wars saga are being developed (assuming Clone Wars keeps going, this means 3 Star Wars TV shows). One will be live action, and the other CG. They will both supposedly take place between episodes III & IV in order to truly bridge the gap between the trilogies. While I love the idea of being able to see Star Wars on my TV on a regular basis, I think an entirely new setting would be a much better idea. You wouldn't have to deal with so many continuity issues, for one (which all series in a franchise have major issues with), and it would be a clean slate for all of us that have been so badly burned by the last two films (and especially if the 3rd doesn't measure up).

And finally, the trailer for Serenity went up on quicktime yesterday-This is based on the criminally ignored series Firefly from genius Joss Whedon. It's telling that before the first movie is out that a 3-picture deal has already been signed by Whedon and the main cast members. This could easily be the next Star Wars, so I can't wait till it's out in about 5 months. And on that note, I'm finally going to pick up Firefly on DVD, and I suggest you do the same as well and show Fox that they were complete idiots (course they are backing the film, so maybe complete is too harsh)....

4/21/2005

It's a virtual sale-everything must go!!!

Although enterprising gamers have been doing it in some form for almost as long as online games have been around, Sony has officially made a site where you can pay actual cash for special virtual items in Everquest II. This is not exactly a big surprise, as it's not only an evolution of what's been going on between individuals for years, but a sort of inbetween step for the future, because it's already been heavily hinted that online services for future MMOGs will feature some sort of official marketplace system where you can soup up your character or get some tricked out items for the right price. And hey, most of us gamers are people who have jobs and some semblance of a social life, so I certainly see the advantage to buying some kickass armor or sword since you just don't have the time to spend endless hours questing for it. But at the same time, any real gamer will tell you that any item they gained through tons of hours of questing and hard work has a special sentimental value too them. It definitely would feel hollow to just buy some super-powerful item. I last thing I want is to be playing the next big mmorpg and listen to some jackass brag about how he just laid out a few hundred bucks so he could start out with the best equipment in the game while I'm still busy trying to survive with my cardboard armor and stick +2.

And Sony and Toshiba have finally pulled their heads out of their collective asses and decided that it would be a good idea to come up with just one format for the next generation of dvds rather than risk pissing off the consumer public. Supposedly this may lead to some issues with the PS3 since their previous hardline devotion to blu-ray may need some adjustment, but I bet Sony had some plan in place before they called for a truce anyways, so this probably won't cause any unknown delays (and I know there already has been many rumblings about exactly what we are going to see at E3, but that's still a month away, so I don't want to waste a good blog on that yet, especially before any concrete details surface).

Finally, I did play some of Unreal Championship II, and what I really like about the game is that the story mode trains you well for the online mode, because it's the same stuff. It sounds stupid, but neither Halo 2's or Time Splitters 3's story mode gives you any sort of preperation for the multi-player because it's such a vastly different experience. In UC: II, you are a competitor in a tournament, and it helps more naturally prepare you to go online rather than feeling like you have to go and practice offline against some bots to get better. My only major complaint is that you have to either jump into an already started game or create your own, which can lead to a lot of frustarting losses for you or opponents. There's no reason this shouldn't have a match system similar to Halo 2 and many other games where you get everybody in a room first and then go. Chaos Theory sort of has this issue, but you can also see if the game has been started yet.

That's really all for today, till next time...

PSP-Your latest source for porn

So, the newest headline grabber is that playboy has made some exclusive gallery just for lucky PSP owners that you can get online. Now, this isn't that surprisng since the porn industry is usually one of the earliest adopters of new technology, but it's just sort of suprising to see it hit this quickly and this is really the first time a video game console has offered cactual porn. Sure, there's been porn thinly disguised as a game, but not actual straight out porn. I can see lazy parents being outraged right now.

The othe big news is the merger of EB Games & Gamestop, making one big mega chain for gamers everywhere. Now, normally I'd decry this as a monopoly, but these two chains have been interchangeable for so many years I don't think anybody will notice or even if there will be any real changes anyways. Now if they buy out Fry's, that's the sign of an apocalypse.

As I talked about last week, Wrestlemania 21 is out, and the news is not good so far. Not only have the reviews been less than kind, but gamers can't even get online due to some bug. I won't pass final judgement till my copy comes from gamefly (probably next week), but looks like us wrestling fans will have to wait a long while before the next truly great wrestling game comes along.

Namco has nabbed the rights to make Peanuts-based video games. Now, I'd love to see some decidely brilliant games starring Snoopy and the gang that manage to keep the spirit of the strip, but like most licenses (especially family friendly ones) the games will most likely make Charles Schultz turn in his grave.

On the movie front, Kung Fu Hustle expands nationwide this weekend, and I'm very excited, because it's the same team that made Shaolin Soccer, which was easily one of the most fun movies I've ever seen, And I'm sure just like that movie, Hustle will be silly, over the top, and make little, if any sense. And if that's what the wirting team is aiming for, it's always magic.
If you are in the mood for something more serious, The Interpreter starring Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman opens this weekend, And while the previews look interesting enough, I've never really liked Sean Penn, and the last good movie Nicole Kidman did was Moulin Rouge, so I'll probably only check it out when it comes to video.

That's really all I want to cover today. But plenty of topics to to discuss, so I'll definitely be back tommorow or friday.

4/14/2005

Knights of the Jade Republic

Ok, after playing through Jade Empire in a mere day and half (roughly 20 hours, what can I say, I sort of go into a zone when it comes to rpgs, at least if they are paced well like bioware's are) I have to say anyone expecting a huge leap from KOTOR will be dissapointed. The whole philosophy instead of morality angle they've been pushing is complete BS. It's still light side vs. darkside, good vs. evil, yin vs. yang, whatever you want to call it, and it's easily seen in the dialgoue choices. There are a lot of thinly veiled references to both KOTOR games and the Star Wars movies in general (although possibly not completely intentional on some levels). It's KOTOR in ancient China. And that's a great thing. I had a great time going through it so quickly and much like both KOTOR titles, I'll probably go through it at least a couple more times thanks to the variety of styles if nothing else. But even if I don't, thank god for xbox live so I don't go and waste my money on some underwhelming title to fill the void.

I also played Lego Star Wars on monday, and it was a suprisingly decent title, with it being very cool seing every aspect of Star Wars Legoized and the game really taking advantage of that. My only beef is that you have unlmited lives so it'll be too easy for older gamers, but probably just right for the younger SW fans out there.

The only major film opening this weekend is the new version of the Amityville Horror, apparently from the same people who unleashed the atrociously laughable Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. It's been repeatedly proven over the last decade that hollywood can't make good horror movies anymore (at least ones that aren't campy jokes like Jeepers Creepers 2), so I might check this out on video since I like Ryan Reynolds, but I'm not wasting any of this weekend on it. I live in a fairly small town, but hopefully when Kung Fu Hustle releases wide next week, it'll come here so I have a reason to go to the multiplex.

Nex week, two potentially huge Xbox live titles are out-Unreal Championship 2 & WWE Wrestlemania 21. Now, I've said my piece about UC 2 awhile ago, but I'll reiterate here-It's a unique idea and brings some much needed freshness to the FPS genre, but it's also unblanced and the melee combat can be kinda sloppy. And I can only have so many live games on my plate at once. I'm at five right now, and I pretty much think that's my limit. Meaning it probably won't be a serious consideration until I get bored of Halo 2, which may happen down the road, but not anytime relatively soon.
And then there's Wrestlemania 21. I haven't talked about it much here, but I'm a fairly avid wrestling fan, and this could potentially be the deifnitive online experience I've been waiting for (so much so that I'm already part of a fantasy league for he game before it's even out). But I'm still being very cautious. And that's essentially because there has yet to be anything more than a couple of halfway decent wrestling titles this console generation, and saying the two xbox titles were embarassments worthy of putting the development teams responsible on double secret probation would be far too kind. So I'm taking an approach of cautious optimism, I'm expecting it to be good, but I'm just waiting for my gamefly copy rather than going right out and buying so I didn't feel like I just wasted $50. Course, If WM 21 dissapoints, then I may actually pick up Unreal 2 anyways because it's yet another title that offers something unique. That's it for now, until next time...

4/10/2005

Good & Evil is SOOO 2003!!!

I meant to update friday but I just didn't feel like it :) Plus Doom 3 came in the mail so I spent quite a few hours testing out both the online and offline gameplay. It may be much prettier, but it's still the Doom you remember, for better or worse, meaning cheap attacks from enemies that spawn out of nowhere and use nothing more than brute force combined with lots of key finding. And I honestly did find the whole flashlight gimmick I referred to in my last post my annoying than ontributing to any kind of scare factor. The FPS genre has moved on and evolved from this style of gameplay and while plenty will probably enjoy the nostalgic trip back I will happily move foward with Halo 2 and the upcoming Unreal Championship.

Two fairly underwhelming movies opened this weekend, First up is Sahara. Now, I don't mind brainless knockoffs of adventure classics like Romancing the Stone & Indiana Jones, but this really seems like a brainless knockoff of brainless knockoffs like The Mummy & The Rundown, so I'll probably wait for video. And then there's Drew Barrymore in her latest attempt to land yet another man-child type (Adam Sandler must've been busy) with Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch. There's nothing wrong with an enjoyable formulaic romantic comedy (i.e. Hitch), but this seems like it was assembled in some hollywood movie-making factory. Sadly, this is hardly an original script either, it's an adaption of a novel that was about a soccer fanatic that was already made into a movie starring Colin Firth.

And this week what many are already calling the greatest rpg in the history of xbox (and given the small but spectacular selection, that's saying plenty) hits stores-Jade Empire. From the makers of the original Knights of The Old Republic. And while KOTOR obivously had plenty of source material to go on, Jade Empire is a completely original creation, which is poentially a much bigger risk if everything doesn't gel together well. But it's real hook is an evolution the whole light vs. dark side, as Jade Empire features Open Palm (think Buddhist) vs. Closed Fist (think Darwinian). It's philosophy rather than straight morals. It'll probably considerably lessen my Xbox live time for awhile, which is also saying a lot. I'll be focusing my chi until next time....

4/07/2005

Newsflash: I SUCK!!!

I did see Sin City on sunday, and it's easily a front runner for best movie of this year so far and easily has become one of my all time favorite films. It's that damn good. I'd place it in my top 10 (although I've only ever really thought about my top 3-Bravehart, Spaceballs & Robin Hood: Prine of Thieves, I honestly haven't given that much thought to an official list, maybe I will someday).

Doom 3 is out this week, I am a huge fan of the series, but I've previously stated that I have a slight problem with the whole gimmick that this newest entry is based around-being blind or being able to fight, because the game literally has you choosing between having your flashlight so you can actually see twisted demons of hell coming to rip you apart, or your weapon so youy can't see anything, but you can still shoot in the direction you think you heard something before it gets you. I'm sure this creates a scary atmosphere quite succesfully, which is rare, but every single game in history that gives you guns, flashlight and lots of dark space lets you use the light and the gun at the same time. It just strikes me as gimmicky and unrealistic.

Now onto today's main topic: My video game skills, or lack thereof. I always thought I was at best a decent player even though I have about twenty years experience (probably because I play games to have fun, which seems like a foreign concept to some people). It's a big reason I mainly like RPGs-you don't really have to have much skill to beat them if you don't want to-enough power leveling and you'll barrel through any enemy. I'm honestly not willing to put in the insane amount of hours and deal with the frustration of beating incredibly hardcore games like Ninja Gaiden (I like a chellenge, but games like that are ridiculous) Unfortunately, this makes it hard to get in with hardcore gamers, most of which I've seem to be running into in Splinter Cell:CT online. The multi-player is actually pretty complicated, especially the modes where your goal is to steal or defend targets but most gamers don't seem to be willing to cut you some slack (and I'm talking about my own teammates here), especially if it's a "ranked" game.Now, I like winning, and on just about every game there's a ranking board for I check the boards, but honestly as long as I'm not the worst (which I haven't been yet), I'm pretty statisfied. I'm willing to stick it out a bit longer, but if I just keep running into these anal-retentive assholes who don't realize that it's just a game, I'll probably be selling Splinter Cell pretty soon, because I don't need to deal with these pathetic morons, who seem to be around in Chaos Theory in a higher volume than literally any other game I own.

Ok, I finally have my computer back up and running, so I'll be posting again on friday, until then, check out this sign of the apocalypse

3/30/2005

God, The Devil and Sam Fisher

Devil May Cry 3 is a brutal, fun, and hardcore action game for action gamers. Then comes along God of War to rip out DMC3's spine and proceed to beat it and all other pretenders to to the action throne to a bloody and gruesome death with it's visceral and blood-spattering gameplay. But sly old Sam Fisher comes sneaks through the shadows in the new Splinter Cell and quietly takes out all other pretenders before they even know what happened. All three are excellent games int their own right, but what really gives Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory the edge isn't even it's revolutionary online play of mercs vs. spies or co-op missions. It's not it's long overdue quick saves and looser importance on objectives, and it's not it's eye-popping graphics that make you wonder why CT looks so good and smooth and Halo 2 still has frame rate issues looking ancient in comparison in the same platform. It's actually all these encompassing things that make it potentially the ultimate Xbox game (granted, the other games are PS2 titles, but I just really wanted to compare the games so I could use that clever header :), because it does so many things so excellently and gives you more freedom that any previous stealth/action game in how you approach a situation. I was suspicious if Ubisoft could make me feel that it was worth blowing $50 on CT when the previous title was released just about 5 months ago and I could pick it up for siginificantly cheaper, but in a mere day it's easily drawing me away from the heavy hours I was putting into Phantom Dust & Phantasy Star Online lately). It should be noted that my entire next gen library only consists now of my xbox live games, so it has officially eaten my soul for breakfast, but I've come along very willingly (and it doesn't help that Gamecube has had no noteworhthy releases since Resident Evil 4 and God of War, while awesome, can be beaten in a day or two).

So, the PSP lauch isn't going quite as well as Sony would have people think, because it's apparently the most available brand new system in recent history. I'm honestly not that suprised, the mandatory bundle package is ridiculous, I don't think anybody like the idea that if they want to watch a movie, they have to buy it for a new format, and it's a known fact that the battery life sucks complete ass (good luck getting any lengthy online gaming sessions or watching a long movie on battery power alone). And the most important aspect-the launch titles, all seem to be lesser versions of the console counterparts(with the exception of Lumines, that sounds really cool). And bottom line, launching a system before October is a bad idea. I'm sure it will make up some major mileage when the holiday season starts, and it's not like it was nearly as disaterous as the NGAGE launch, but Sony should really know better, especially if the next Xbox console is launching this year as everyone expects it to, I know I'd rather save money towards that).

And FINALLY, a movie I'm really excited to check out is opening this weekend. Sin City with Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba and more stars. There's been a couple I've been interested enough to check out, like Hitch and Be Cool, but this is the first film release of this year that I am geniunely excited about. Now granted, I know jack about Frank Miller and his graphic novels, but this movie just looks too cool for words. The only thing that worries me is that I was completely fooled by Sky Captain's visual hook last year, and this could be the same deal, but luckily so far the reviews seem to be saying otherwise. I hope it's good, becasue the only other movie I'm seriously interested in that's coming out in the next couple of months is Episode III. I'll most likely be back this weekend with my thoughts on that, until then, hope to be snapping your neck online....

3/23/2005

The Phantom Menace

Sorry for only one update last week, but my laptop is pretty much out of commision for awhile (and until it is up and running again, I'll probably just keep to one update a week, but hopefully that won't be for too long).

Anyways, This week since there are no noteworthy movies to talk about (I mean really, it's enough of a joke that Miss Congeniality 2 even got released), I'm going to talk about two great little budget titles (because normally budget title=awful game, but there are rare exceptions) you can pick up for your Xbox that break from the huge splurge of Racing/FPS/Sports titles out there. This was always my biggest complaint against Xbox live-Why pay for an online service that offers such a limited variety? And for awhile, it was really true, as the only title to really break from the mold and offer something unique was Crimson Skies. And don't get me wrong, I love nothing more than getting a few hours of Halo 2 on most nights, but I also like something that makes Xbox live a unique experience, and I think I confidently say there are several titles that do that in addition to the two I'm talking about here (namely Phantasy Star Online & Splinter Cell).

First up is Worms 3D. Now, the Worms series has been around for probably over a decade now, and it's a very charming and simple idea-you and your team of cute worms blow the crap out of other worms (usually up to 3 other teams of 4) with weapons ranging from bazookas to exploding sheep. Now, anyone who's a math wiz will have a huge advantage since things like distance, angle and wind are serious considerations if you really want to strategize, but it's really just a fun little game you can pretty easily pickup and offers plenty of online & multiplayer bang for your buck. My only complaint is that the camera can be fairly atrocious at times, but I'm willing to be a lot more forgiving of this in a $20 title than in a $50 one. And trust me, there are few better moments of joy than blasting your opponents' last worm into oblivion with something as over the top as a full blown air strike or a Holy Hand Grenade.

Second, and much more unique is Phantom Dust. Now, the reviews so far have said this is a lot like a card game and while that is true in many aspects that isn't really fair to people like me who believe card-based video games are the work of Satan himself (Pokemon's an easy target, but just try playing the card games in any rpg lately, they are becoming a disturbing staple in that genre). I guess saying Phantom Dust is like a card game is just a result of trying to classify it into some genre, because the truth is there's NO game out there quite like this one. It's one of those rare oddities that escaped from overseas for us lucky few who are bold enough to take a risk on such an oddball but unique and entertaining title. You do collect and assemble decks of sorts of powers you collect that all have distinct advantages and disadvantages (and much like a card game, once your deck runs out, you are screwed), but not in the traditional complicated card game way. PD manages to keep it as simple and/or as complicated as you like depending on your choice of arsenal (do you go for the big one time powermoves, the advanced defensive ones, or a mix?). And much like Worms 3D, it does have some camera and balance issues, but it's just an incredibly fun thing to play and well worth your $20.

But the real gem of each of these, like most niche titles, is the smaller community of gamers. I like be able to find a bunch of people to play Halo 2 with online at any time of the day, but in having these games less than a week I've already ran into people I've played before, and that's actually I good thing since I know I won't be dealing with some homphopic racist prepubescent idiot who is also high and or drunk like I do on occasion when playing the more mainstream games.

That's all for now and hope to see you online...

3/16/2005

TOTALLY $#@^ING EXTREME!!!!

While many characters have revamped their image to try and stay hip, historically the most popular characters have remained timeless and never had to change a thing, they were always entertaining, funny and hip usually because they refused to go with some silly trend. In TV, two major influences on me as a kid were Looney Tunes (mainly Daffy Duck, but I was a big Bugs Bunny fan as well) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (my fav in that foursome easily being Raphael), and like many gamers my age, two major gaming influences were Mario, and more so Sonic the Hedgehog when he came along (made me a diehard Sega fan to this day, in fact). These were timeless characters that have been around for years (in some cases, decades) and never really had to change their shtick to remain popular. But all of a sudden, three out four of the icons I've mentioned have been massively revamped, and it's making me sick.

First off was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now, I'm not ashamed to say that if the show was still on in it's original incarnation, I would still watch it. It was a well-written and funny show with good fight scenes. A few years ago they re-launched the show, with a whole new "extreme" attitude, essentially killing everything that was great about the show (they made the turtles more interchangeable, made April and Casey Jones more "hip", pretty much completely disregarded the fact that the show never took itself that seriously) and turning it into some weird deal where they got into the middle of an interstellar war with a bunch of alien Triceratops. And granted, if they could make four humanoid turtles who know Ninjitsu being taught by a giant rat that take on an alien talking brain from another dimension with a ninja master as his evil partner work, the whole Triceratops thing isn't such a stretch. But whatever the reason (most likely hack writers that take no pride in the fact that they have a chance to write a good animated show that can be enjoyed by more than just kids and maybe even get kids off to a good start in knowing quality TV), it doesn't.

But the Turtles have been like that for a few years now and I've more or less learned to live with it. The latest attacks on my cherished icons of childhood are more recent and much more blasphemous. The geniuses over at WB decided that Bugs & pals needed a makeover after over 50 successful years of staying true to their hilarious shtick. Mel Blanc is rolling over in his grave at the mere thought of his beloved characters being creatively raped of their souls like this. But all that matters is that the action figures tested well with kids, as one of the many TV execs with his head up his own ass is quoted as saying in the article. Rather than come up with my own clever retort, I'll just direct you to a genius far funnier than me with his own take on this "extreme" makeover here (advisory, strong language, but damn funny).

Legendary Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto was once quoted as saying that you will never see Mario shooting hookers and while Mario hasn't gone over the edge, Sega has pretty much gone and done something that can only been seen as something almost as bad. Just go over to gametrailers.com and check out the trailer for "Shadow the Hedgehog". So, essentially what Sega has done is can their beloved mascot in favor of a more "extreme"character. Shadow the Hedgehog. And the one thing you can clearly see is that Shadow uses guns to deal with his enemies (and not fake guns, he is clearly using a machine gun in one scene). Not only does this seem extremely wrong for this franchise in general, it also seems like a desperate attempt to cash in on the fact that the highly successful Jak & Daxter & Ratchet & Clank series both used guns (and heck it might even be racist!). Granted, after the last couple of horrid games, the series needed a change, but I think everyone was hoping Sega would take it back to its roots rather than this horrid idea.

In all of these cases, it's a bunch of idiotic marketing execs revamping things that didn't need to be fixed to begin with, and I want end this with one really simple question: Would you rather your kid learn from Bugs Bunny, who was able to talk his way out of situations and use his brain? Or "Buzz Bunny" who is extreme and shoots lasers from his eyes to solve all of his problems?

3/10/2005

And the dead shall rise...

Marlon Brando is supposedly going to be in the upcoming Superman film. No, he didn't film any scenes before his passing, but apparently Bryan Singer just wants to essentially use old footage of Brando and use some clever editing tricks. Now I sort of get the nostalgia aspect, after all, he was Superman's father in the Chris Reeve flicks, but this just strikes me as incredibly ghoulish. I felt the same way when they used Fred Astaire to sell a vacuum cleaner. Not only does this seem to be openly mocking the dead, it's bottom line cutting out a paying job for some other deserving actor. I honestly fear we're not too far off from making films starring long dead screen icons, which will probably save studios a bundle, but will go one step further in making hollywood bereft of edge or creativity, which they are lacking as is.

I did get to play Devil May Cry 3 this week, and most actions fans will be very pleased with the game. But for me personally, one extremely annoying flaw kept me from actually making the purchase-The dodge roll and jump are assigned to the same button. Now, in many games, this wouldn't be a huge difference, but DMC3 is an intense game that demands near perfection from players in order to progress, and often this button would continually screw me over in key instances, and it seems like such a simple problem to fix.

As for movies this weekend, first up is Bruce Willis' long overdue return to hardcore action in Hostage. The critical acclaim hasn't been there so far and personally I feel it's adding a whole subplot that isn't really needed (so he's handling a hostage negotiation, but his family is also being held hostage by the mob, because apparently one wasn't enough).
But, it seems like a better alternative then Robots, the newest cg kids movie. Sure, it's got a ridiculously star-studded cast (Ewan Mcgregor, Robin Williams, Halle Berry, Greg Kinnear, etc.) and looks pretty, but it looks like another fairly bland family film that may be singlehandedly saved by Robin Williams improvisation (after all, that's pretty much what Ice Age was, a pretty but bland family film). That's pretty much all for today, I'm suprised I was able to pull myself away from Xbox live long enough to post anything :)

3/07/2005

The ultimate hypocracies

So, tonight 60 minutes did yet another bs piece (they've done a few over the years) essentially blaming videogames for some disturbed kids' whacked out behavior. Of course, the reactionaries answer is to make it illegal to sell these games to minors (although you can tell they want this stuff banned completely). Now, I don't necessarily disagree with some kind of system to not let these games clearly meant for adults into young kids' hands, but quite frankly, the government has better things to do with our tax dollars and there's a couple of hugely inherent problems with this. First off, despite all the outrage over other mature content in other forms of entertainment, there are rarely ever any penalties if it regularly winds up in the hands of minors. Reports & investigations and commitees are made, but very little ever actually comes from them except for a promise to massively reform (thus resulting in massive wastes of time & our money).
The second and highly more important one is, where would they draw the line? Sure, at first it's just clearly M-rated games, but many violent games are rated T for teen, they just lack blood or excessive swearing. And they are basing it on how it influences minors. So if a kid tries to do some insane stunts in a car he saw in a driving game (which are generally rated E or T) or something else they saw in a game that wasn't rated M, do we make it much stricter? And again, this is all neglecting parental and personal responsibility. There are literally millions of gamers who play & buy violent games, and yet 99.9% aren't prone to violent criminal behavior, at least not directly resulting from a video game or any other form of entertainment. And how about just being sick and tired of these complete jackasses who obviously have no life telling others what is acceptable and what is not? And finally, the main reason I play video games (especially violent ones) is because I need some sort of stress relief after long days at work. Quite frankly it's pretty good therapy. If games are heavily censored and regulated, certain people may lose their source of stress relief, which could lead to a whole lot of other problems.

3/05/2005

The I in Team

Sorry for no post until now, I literally tried to start on over a dozen topics that just seemed to go nowhere, so I just blamed it on writer's block and finally went to bed. But after getting my hands on Star Wars: Republic Commando for Xbox (all I will say about the multi-player is that it was extremely buggy online & I actually fell through a level), I finally have something to discuss-Teamwork in games. In many games, teamwork is an important aspect. You often have at least one partner with you-whether you want them or not. Despite all the advancements videogames have made in a realitvely short amount of time, coming up with teammates who will actually pull their own weight seems to be that impossible brass ring that companies can't quite reach. This is especially true in squad-based shooters. If you're lucky, you get games like Freedom Fighters & Brute Force, where your teammates are at least a good distraction while you do most of the work yourself. But most of the time it's like the Ghost Recon games, where you teammates stupidly walk around in the open just waiting to get shot and don't take direction well.
At first glance, Commando seems to fix most of these problems. Your teammates not only have distinct and engaging personalities, but specialities that really stand out in battle, and they seem to be more than able to handle their own.
Unfortunately, a few levels in cracks start showing as these bipolar miscreants lead you to your doom. They get stuck behind doors, occasionally decide to follow orders, and just seem to lack basic instincts at key moments. On RARE they occasions will do things like take cover and heal on their own, but mostly have to be ordered by you into a specifc place or to do a specific action and half the time they don't even respond, which makes the intense firefights a messy chore. It's pathetic that this many years down the road no game can claim to give you a competent A.I. partner to work with-they are either too helpful (making the game no challenge) or almost totally useless. This really needs to be adressed since teamwork is becoming more and more of a factor in games these days.
That it's for now, but I will definitely do another post tonight or Sunday since I have a specific topic in mind.

3/01/2005

Now all I need is a chair that doubles as a toilet....

Ok, this was reported awhile ago, but I'm continually suprised at what lengths us humans will go to make sure we will eventually become nothing more than jello-like blobs because we just don't like anything that requires effort anymore. In case you haven't heard, the latest innovation for all those Evercrack whores out there (and I'm sure other games will follow suit) is that with a few key strokes they can order a pizza without interrupting their precious game. I completely admit to being lazy on a fairly regular basis, but even I would get off my damn ass to pick up a phone and order a pizza, hell I'm such a cheap bastard I'll normally go and walk to the pizza place so I don't get charged for delivery (that's more my ridiculous frugality overcoming my overt laziness, but at least I get some exercise out of it). And being a gamer of over 20 years, I understand the dilemma between food and finishing that last quest or beating that boss (especially if taking a timeout would leave your teammates hanging), but this is ridiculous. Hey, there's few things I love more than devoting an entire day off to nothing but sitting in my bed and gaming all day long (which I totally plan to do for a good portion of tommorow), but I seriously think this is a step that shouldn't be taken. This is the first step towards The Matrix being real, people. Before long all we'll be good for is some kind of energy source.

It's so nice to FINALLY have a movie opening this weekend that I'm looking foward to. And that's Be Cool starring John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn & The Rock. Granted, Get Shorty was something like a decade ago and Travolta doesn't have the best batting average, but this actually looks smart & funny, which is more than I can say for most high profile sequels/prequels to long dead films (like the new Exorcist movie that's on DVD today, I found even the highly regarded first one laughably bad yet they somehow made four of these). I'm actually hoping it's a breakout role for the Rock, as I've always thought he was capable of a lot more than the big action roles he's been doing.
That's really all I have for today, so I'll probably do a much more focused post tommorow or thursday. Until then...