God, The Devil and Sam Fisher

Devil May Cry 3 is a brutal, fun, and hardcore action game for action gamers. Then comes along God of War to rip out DMC3's spine and proceed to beat it and all other pretenders to to the action throne to a bloody and gruesome death with it's visceral and blood-spattering gameplay. But sly old Sam Fisher comes sneaks through the shadows in the new Splinter Cell and quietly takes out all other pretenders before they even know what happened. All three are excellent games int their own right, but what really gives Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory the edge isn't even it's revolutionary online play of mercs vs. spies or co-op missions. It's not it's long overdue quick saves and looser importance on objectives, and it's not it's eye-popping graphics that make you wonder why CT looks so good and smooth and Halo 2 still has frame rate issues looking ancient in comparison in the same platform. It's actually all these encompassing things that make it potentially the ultimate Xbox game (granted, the other games are PS2 titles, but I just really wanted to compare the games so I could use that clever header :), because it does so many things so excellently and gives you more freedom that any previous stealth/action game in how you approach a situation. I was suspicious if Ubisoft could make me feel that it was worth blowing $50 on CT when the previous title was released just about 5 months ago and I could pick it up for siginificantly cheaper, but in a mere day it's easily drawing me away from the heavy hours I was putting into Phantom Dust & Phantasy Star Online lately). It should be noted that my entire next gen library only consists now of my xbox live games, so it has officially eaten my soul for breakfast, but I've come along very willingly (and it doesn't help that Gamecube has had no noteworhthy releases since Resident Evil 4 and God of War, while awesome, can be beaten in a day or two).

So, the PSP lauch isn't going quite as well as Sony would have people think, because it's apparently the most available brand new system in recent history. I'm honestly not that suprised, the mandatory bundle package is ridiculous, I don't think anybody like the idea that if they want to watch a movie, they have to buy it for a new format, and it's a known fact that the battery life sucks complete ass (good luck getting any lengthy online gaming sessions or watching a long movie on battery power alone). And the most important aspect-the launch titles, all seem to be lesser versions of the console counterparts(with the exception of Lumines, that sounds really cool). And bottom line, launching a system before October is a bad idea. I'm sure it will make up some major mileage when the holiday season starts, and it's not like it was nearly as disaterous as the NGAGE launch, but Sony should really know better, especially if the next Xbox console is launching this year as everyone expects it to, I know I'd rather save money towards that).

And FINALLY, a movie I'm really excited to check out is opening this weekend. Sin City with Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba and more stars. There's been a couple I've been interested enough to check out, like Hitch and Be Cool, but this is the first film release of this year that I am geniunely excited about. Now granted, I know jack about Frank Miller and his graphic novels, but this movie just looks too cool for words. The only thing that worries me is that I was completely fooled by Sky Captain's visual hook last year, and this could be the same deal, but luckily so far the reviews seem to be saying otherwise. I hope it's good, becasue the only other movie I'm seriously interested in that's coming out in the next couple of months is Episode III. I'll most likely be back this weekend with my thoughts on that, until then, hope to be snapping your neck online....

The Phantom Menace

Sorry for only one update last week, but my laptop is pretty much out of commision for awhile (and until it is up and running again, I'll probably just keep to one update a week, but hopefully that won't be for too long).

Anyways, This week since there are no noteworthy movies to talk about (I mean really, it's enough of a joke that Miss Congeniality 2 even got released), I'm going to talk about two great little budget titles (because normally budget title=awful game, but there are rare exceptions) you can pick up for your Xbox that break from the huge splurge of Racing/FPS/Sports titles out there. This was always my biggest complaint against Xbox live-Why pay for an online service that offers such a limited variety? And for awhile, it was really true, as the only title to really break from the mold and offer something unique was Crimson Skies. And don't get me wrong, I love nothing more than getting a few hours of Halo 2 on most nights, but I also like something that makes Xbox live a unique experience, and I think I confidently say there are several titles that do that in addition to the two I'm talking about here (namely Phantasy Star Online & Splinter Cell).

First up is Worms 3D. Now, the Worms series has been around for probably over a decade now, and it's a very charming and simple idea-you and your team of cute worms blow the crap out of other worms (usually up to 3 other teams of 4) with weapons ranging from bazookas to exploding sheep. Now, anyone who's a math wiz will have a huge advantage since things like distance, angle and wind are serious considerations if you really want to strategize, but it's really just a fun little game you can pretty easily pickup and offers plenty of online & multiplayer bang for your buck. My only complaint is that the camera can be fairly atrocious at times, but I'm willing to be a lot more forgiving of this in a $20 title than in a $50 one. And trust me, there are few better moments of joy than blasting your opponents' last worm into oblivion with something as over the top as a full blown air strike or a Holy Hand Grenade.

Second, and much more unique is Phantom Dust. Now, the reviews so far have said this is a lot like a card game and while that is true in many aspects that isn't really fair to people like me who believe card-based video games are the work of Satan himself (Pokemon's an easy target, but just try playing the card games in any rpg lately, they are becoming a disturbing staple in that genre). I guess saying Phantom Dust is like a card game is just a result of trying to classify it into some genre, because the truth is there's NO game out there quite like this one. It's one of those rare oddities that escaped from overseas for us lucky few who are bold enough to take a risk on such an oddball but unique and entertaining title. You do collect and assemble decks of sorts of powers you collect that all have distinct advantages and disadvantages (and much like a card game, once your deck runs out, you are screwed), but not in the traditional complicated card game way. PD manages to keep it as simple and/or as complicated as you like depending on your choice of arsenal (do you go for the big one time powermoves, the advanced defensive ones, or a mix?). And much like Worms 3D, it does have some camera and balance issues, but it's just an incredibly fun thing to play and well worth your $20.

But the real gem of each of these, like most niche titles, is the smaller community of gamers. I like be able to find a bunch of people to play Halo 2 with online at any time of the day, but in having these games less than a week I've already ran into people I've played before, and that's actually I good thing since I know I won't be dealing with some homphopic racist prepubescent idiot who is also high and or drunk like I do on occasion when playing the more mainstream games.

That's all for now and hope to see you online...

TOTALLY $#@^ING EXTREME!!!!

While many characters have revamped their image to try and stay hip, historically the most popular characters have remained timeless and never had to change a thing, they were always entertaining, funny and hip usually because they refused to go with some silly trend. In TV, two major influences on me as a kid were Looney Tunes (mainly Daffy Duck, but I was a big Bugs Bunny fan as well) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (my fav in that foursome easily being Raphael), and like many gamers my age, two major gaming influences were Mario, and more so Sonic the Hedgehog when he came along (made me a diehard Sega fan to this day, in fact). These were timeless characters that have been around for years (in some cases, decades) and never really had to change their shtick to remain popular. But all of a sudden, three out four of the icons I've mentioned have been massively revamped, and it's making me sick.

First off was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now, I'm not ashamed to say that if the show was still on in it's original incarnation, I would still watch it. It was a well-written and funny show with good fight scenes. A few years ago they re-launched the show, with a whole new "extreme" attitude, essentially killing everything that was great about the show (they made the turtles more interchangeable, made April and Casey Jones more "hip", pretty much completely disregarded the fact that the show never took itself that seriously) and turning it into some weird deal where they got into the middle of an interstellar war with a bunch of alien Triceratops. And granted, if they could make four humanoid turtles who know Ninjitsu being taught by a giant rat that take on an alien talking brain from another dimension with a ninja master as his evil partner work, the whole Triceratops thing isn't such a stretch. But whatever the reason (most likely hack writers that take no pride in the fact that they have a chance to write a good animated show that can be enjoyed by more than just kids and maybe even get kids off to a good start in knowing quality TV), it doesn't.

But the Turtles have been like that for a few years now and I've more or less learned to live with it. The latest attacks on my cherished icons of childhood are more recent and much more blasphemous. The geniuses over at WB decided that Bugs & pals needed a makeover after over 50 successful years of staying true to their hilarious shtick. Mel Blanc is rolling over in his grave at the mere thought of his beloved characters being creatively raped of their souls like this. But all that matters is that the action figures tested well with kids, as one of the many TV execs with his head up his own ass is quoted as saying in the article. Rather than come up with my own clever retort, I'll just direct you to a genius far funnier than me with his own take on this "extreme" makeover here (advisory, strong language, but damn funny).

Legendary Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto was once quoted as saying that you will never see Mario shooting hookers and while Mario hasn't gone over the edge, Sega has pretty much gone and done something that can only been seen as something almost as bad. Just go over to gametrailers.com and check out the trailer for "Shadow the Hedgehog". So, essentially what Sega has done is can their beloved mascot in favor of a more "extreme"character. Shadow the Hedgehog. And the one thing you can clearly see is that Shadow uses guns to deal with his enemies (and not fake guns, he is clearly using a machine gun in one scene). Not only does this seem extremely wrong for this franchise in general, it also seems like a desperate attempt to cash in on the fact that the highly successful Jak & Daxter & Ratchet & Clank series both used guns (and heck it might even be racist!). Granted, after the last couple of horrid games, the series needed a change, but I think everyone was hoping Sega would take it back to its roots rather than this horrid idea.

In all of these cases, it's a bunch of idiotic marketing execs revamping things that didn't need to be fixed to begin with, and I want end this with one really simple question: Would you rather your kid learn from Bugs Bunny, who was able to talk his way out of situations and use his brain? Or "Buzz Bunny" who is extreme and shoots lasers from his eyes to solve all of his problems?

And the dead shall rise...

Marlon Brando is supposedly going to be in the upcoming Superman film. No, he didn't film any scenes before his passing, but apparently Bryan Singer just wants to essentially use old footage of Brando and use some clever editing tricks. Now I sort of get the nostalgia aspect, after all, he was Superman's father in the Chris Reeve flicks, but this just strikes me as incredibly ghoulish. I felt the same way when they used Fred Astaire to sell a vacuum cleaner. Not only does this seem to be openly mocking the dead, it's bottom line cutting out a paying job for some other deserving actor. I honestly fear we're not too far off from making films starring long dead screen icons, which will probably save studios a bundle, but will go one step further in making hollywood bereft of edge or creativity, which they are lacking as is.

I did get to play Devil May Cry 3 this week, and most actions fans will be very pleased with the game. But for me personally, one extremely annoying flaw kept me from actually making the purchase-The dodge roll and jump are assigned to the same button. Now, in many games, this wouldn't be a huge difference, but DMC3 is an intense game that demands near perfection from players in order to progress, and often this button would continually screw me over in key instances, and it seems like such a simple problem to fix.

As for movies this weekend, first up is Bruce Willis' long overdue return to hardcore action in Hostage. The critical acclaim hasn't been there so far and personally I feel it's adding a whole subplot that isn't really needed (so he's handling a hostage negotiation, but his family is also being held hostage by the mob, because apparently one wasn't enough).
But, it seems like a better alternative then Robots, the newest cg kids movie. Sure, it's got a ridiculously star-studded cast (Ewan Mcgregor, Robin Williams, Halle Berry, Greg Kinnear, etc.) and looks pretty, but it looks like another fairly bland family film that may be singlehandedly saved by Robin Williams improvisation (after all, that's pretty much what Ice Age was, a pretty but bland family film). That's pretty much all for today, I'm suprised I was able to pull myself away from Xbox live long enough to post anything :)

The ultimate hypocracies

So, tonight 60 minutes did yet another bs piece (they've done a few over the years) essentially blaming videogames for some disturbed kids' whacked out behavior. Of course, the reactionaries answer is to make it illegal to sell these games to minors (although you can tell they want this stuff banned completely). Now, I don't necessarily disagree with some kind of system to not let these games clearly meant for adults into young kids' hands, but quite frankly, the government has better things to do with our tax dollars and there's a couple of hugely inherent problems with this. First off, despite all the outrage over other mature content in other forms of entertainment, there are rarely ever any penalties if it regularly winds up in the hands of minors. Reports & investigations and commitees are made, but very little ever actually comes from them except for a promise to massively reform (thus resulting in massive wastes of time & our money).
The second and highly more important one is, where would they draw the line? Sure, at first it's just clearly M-rated games, but many violent games are rated T for teen, they just lack blood or excessive swearing. And they are basing it on how it influences minors. So if a kid tries to do some insane stunts in a car he saw in a driving game (which are generally rated E or T) or something else they saw in a game that wasn't rated M, do we make it much stricter? And again, this is all neglecting parental and personal responsibility. There are literally millions of gamers who play & buy violent games, and yet 99.9% aren't prone to violent criminal behavior, at least not directly resulting from a video game or any other form of entertainment. And how about just being sick and tired of these complete jackasses who obviously have no life telling others what is acceptable and what is not? And finally, the main reason I play video games (especially violent ones) is because I need some sort of stress relief after long days at work. Quite frankly it's pretty good therapy. If games are heavily censored and regulated, certain people may lose their source of stress relief, which could lead to a whole lot of other problems.

The I in Team

Sorry for no post until now, I literally tried to start on over a dozen topics that just seemed to go nowhere, so I just blamed it on writer's block and finally went to bed. But after getting my hands on Star Wars: Republic Commando for Xbox (all I will say about the multi-player is that it was extremely buggy online & I actually fell through a level), I finally have something to discuss-Teamwork in games. In many games, teamwork is an important aspect. You often have at least one partner with you-whether you want them or not. Despite all the advancements videogames have made in a realitvely short amount of time, coming up with teammates who will actually pull their own weight seems to be that impossible brass ring that companies can't quite reach. This is especially true in squad-based shooters. If you're lucky, you get games like Freedom Fighters & Brute Force, where your teammates are at least a good distraction while you do most of the work yourself. But most of the time it's like the Ghost Recon games, where you teammates stupidly walk around in the open just waiting to get shot and don't take direction well.
At first glance, Commando seems to fix most of these problems. Your teammates not only have distinct and engaging personalities, but specialities that really stand out in battle, and they seem to be more than able to handle their own.
Unfortunately, a few levels in cracks start showing as these bipolar miscreants lead you to your doom. They get stuck behind doors, occasionally decide to follow orders, and just seem to lack basic instincts at key moments. On RARE they occasions will do things like take cover and heal on their own, but mostly have to be ordered by you into a specifc place or to do a specific action and half the time they don't even respond, which makes the intense firefights a messy chore. It's pathetic that this many years down the road no game can claim to give you a competent A.I. partner to work with-they are either too helpful (making the game no challenge) or almost totally useless. This really needs to be adressed since teamwork is becoming more and more of a factor in games these days.
That it's for now, but I will definitely do another post tonight or Sunday since I have a specific topic in mind.

Now all I need is a chair that doubles as a toilet....

Ok, this was reported awhile ago, but I'm continually suprised at what lengths us humans will go to make sure we will eventually become nothing more than jello-like blobs because we just don't like anything that requires effort anymore. In case you haven't heard, the latest innovation for all those Evercrack whores out there (and I'm sure other games will follow suit) is that with a few key strokes they can order a pizza without interrupting their precious game. I completely admit to being lazy on a fairly regular basis, but even I would get off my damn ass to pick up a phone and order a pizza, hell I'm such a cheap bastard I'll normally go and walk to the pizza place so I don't get charged for delivery (that's more my ridiculous frugality overcoming my overt laziness, but at least I get some exercise out of it). And being a gamer of over 20 years, I understand the dilemma between food and finishing that last quest or beating that boss (especially if taking a timeout would leave your teammates hanging), but this is ridiculous. Hey, there's few things I love more than devoting an entire day off to nothing but sitting in my bed and gaming all day long (which I totally plan to do for a good portion of tommorow), but I seriously think this is a step that shouldn't be taken. This is the first step towards The Matrix being real, people. Before long all we'll be good for is some kind of energy source.

It's so nice to FINALLY have a movie opening this weekend that I'm looking foward to. And that's Be Cool starring John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn & The Rock. Granted, Get Shorty was something like a decade ago and Travolta doesn't have the best batting average, but this actually looks smart & funny, which is more than I can say for most high profile sequels/prequels to long dead films (like the new Exorcist movie that's on DVD today, I found even the highly regarded first one laughably bad yet they somehow made four of these). I'm actually hoping it's a breakout role for the Rock, as I've always thought he was capable of a lot more than the big action roles he's been doing.
That's really all I have for today, so I'll probably do a much more focused post tommorow or thursday. Until then...

Total & Complete BS

I'm going on record right now as stating that Penn & Teller's Bullshit! should be mandatory viewing for its no holds barred approach to issues. It figures that the best investigative journalism I've seen in my lifetime would be from a couple of Vegas performers. Penn & Teller bascially investigate and take a very critical look at a bunch of controversial topics. They do take some easy potshots at easy issues (exercise-anybody who actually bothered to pay any attention in high school knows that your body is based a lot more on genetics and no amount of exercise will change that, the hypocracy of the drug war, most of that new age crap), but they also rip apart what most people would consider sacred cows like PETA, Recycling, 12-step programs and even the Bible. It's essentially what soft news shows like 60 minutes & Nightline should be, they hold these jackasses feet to the flames and don't let them off easy in any sort of way (heck, most of the time, they don't even need to push, these idiots normally hang themselves if allowed to talk long enough). The first two seasons are available on DVD right now (and it's on Showtime if you have that channel available). Go rent it or put in your queue and strap everyone you know into a chair and make them watch. Again, this should be MANDATORY viewing for all Americans.

Speaking of total & complete BS, tonight is Oscar night, and no, I'm not watching the ceremony. The oscars are just like any other awards show-Deserving movies & people get snubbed and awards are NEVER given because someone deserves it. They are given usually either because they are long overdue, because it makes a statement or because the academy was split so someone who doesn't deserve it won.

Several big videogame titles are releasing in the coming weeks, most notably Star Wars: Republic Commando & Devil May Cry 3. DMC3 is supposedly a huge turnaround for the series which slumped horribly in its sophmore effort. Its also supposed to make Ninja Gaiden (which is arguably the hardest game of this console generation) look likes child's play, which means I'll play, but most likely not buy. I like a challenge, but there's a difference between a challenge and sheer insanity that will make you scream and break stuff (which Ninja Gaiden made me do on a regular basis before I wisely got rid of it).
Republic Commando seems to be missing the things that most cool Star Wars games have-Jedis or Starships. But advance reports & reviews say it's a pretty solid squad shooter. I'll hopefully get my hands on both this week. Till next time...

One last chance...

The only movie of any note opening this weekend is Cursed, and while I swore I would never pay to see another horror film after so many dissapointing films the last few years, there are a couple of key factors that may get me interested enogu hto check it out-First it's from the uber horror team of Wes Craven & Kevin Williamson, who know how to make some damn entertaining horror flicks. Second, it stars Christina Ricci, who I've had a major crush on since she was Wednesday in the hilariously dark Addams family movies, so I'll see just about anything with her (yes, even the horrid That Darn Cat), but it's also been tamed down to a demographic friendly PG-13 and has had numerous reshoots, rewrites and recasting, so I may wait for some sort of consensus that it's at least watchable before wasting my money on it.

The other "film" opening this weekend is the latest example of great older actors that are wasting their talent on complete garbage-Man of the House. Tommy Lee Jones, one of the best hardasses in the history of film, plays an FBI agent who is protecting dimwitted cheerleaders that witnessed a murder. I have to wonder what major medication Jones was on to accept this film, especially since it seems somewhat similar to another horrible looking film-Vin Diesel's "The Pacifier". A least "Be Cool" will be out next week.

I picked up the latest OXM (Official Xbox Magazine) yesterday since it had a few playable demos I was interested in. Namely Unreal Championship 2, which manages to be one of the most original shooters in years by pretty seamlessly blending melee combat with chaotic FPS action. A lot of people are comparing it to Halo 2 and they really shouldn't because it's an entirely different beast. It's faster, more chaotic and looser with anything that you could definie as reality. It's also a ton of fun, spent many hours on it last night. Too bad it's still two months until the actual game comes out (I'm gonna be busy in April between that, Doom 3, Jade Empire and Wrestlemania 21 if it actually turns out to be good).

There is no Spoon...

Alright, I did see Constantine yesterday, and it wasn't great (essentially a lot of things just happened without much explanation and nobody had their A-game going on in terms of acting (hell, saying they had their B-game on might be stretching it), but it showed enough interesting ideas and promise that I see good sequel potential.

I finally took the plunge and bought a full year of xbox live so if anybody who bothers to read also has it (or have friends who are looking for people to play with) look for Eradicator30 on Crimson Skies, Halo 2 & Phantasy Star Online. I haven't played since the Dreamcast days, and was sort of reluctant to get back into something that ate up so much of my time, but the xbox service makes it incredibly easy to just play a quick pickup game, and it'll actually probably save me money in the long run, since I'll be too busy playing online to spend money on any new games, no onto to blow up more guys in halo 2....

We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn

So apparently there's been a major recall on some 14 million xboxes because a fairly minute percentage may overheat & start a fire if just left plugged in. Now, I'd like to state for the record that I've had my xbox since launch day, have always left it plugged in unless going on a trip or moving, and it's never caused me any trouble. Recalls & advisory warnings can be serious & should be taken as such, but honestly most of the time they are minor problems in a small percentage that only occur if someone isn't using it properly in the first place, but I don't blame any company for covering their asses so some dumbass doesn't sue because the product wasn't idiot-proof.

I finally caught American Dad on Cartoon Network(I really wish they'd let you order cable channels a la carte or something, I really only watch about 10 channels out all the ones I have available) last night, this is the highly touted new show from the creator of Family Guy, Seth Macfarlane. It's about a paranoid CIA agent who has a wife, 2 kids, a talking goldfish that openly lusts after his wife and an alien who has a weight problem. Just your typical American Family. From what I understand, the show hasn't really started yet (it's supposed to start on Fox sometime soon), but the pilot has been popping up repeatedly in order to push the show. It took me awhile to warm to Family Guy & I still don't think any show can match the first 10 years of The Simpsons (if only they had stopped after 10), but it's off to a promising start, and I'll be looking foward to it, which means Fox, geniuses that they are, will put in an obscure timeslot, barely advertise it, and yank it off the air before it even has a chance to find an audience like they've done with almost everything else. You gotta wonder why they were willing to let 24 grow into the phenom it's become when it didn't start out so hot either but let so many other brilliant shows fall by the wayside with no effort (namely Firefly & Andy Richter Controls the Universe, but it's a LONG list). Course, Fox isn't the only culprit, NBC buried Boomtown, ABC never gave Clerks The Animated Series a shot. And apparently if Michael Eisner had his way, we never would've gotten to watch Lost or Desperate Housewives because he considered both shows trash. Just makes you wonder what qualifications these programming & studio execs actually have since they continually approve so much crap and let the actual gems wither & fade away.

Now onto movies: the only thing of note opening this weekend is Constantine, the latest comic book turned movie, starring who many people consider one of this generation's worst actors, Keanu Reeves. I'm sort of puzzled by that. Sure, he's had some fairly crappy films, but he's been in some damn good films over the years as well-Bill & Ted, Devil's Advocate, Hardball, Speed, Matrix (just the first one). Constatine looks like another solid film IMHO, I'll let you know when I see it tommorow.

This segment brought to you by....

So to start off, I did actually beat Suikoden IV early Sunday night thanks to the tried and true method of power leveling my choice guys for the final battle. This does technically leave me with an rpg void, which is dangerous with Xenosaga Episode II coming out tommorow (I even put a down payment on it when I trade in Suikoden just in case, but I'll be taking it off), but I wsiely decided to spend my money on The first volume of Batman: The Animated series instead (all the batman animated shows rock, they should come out with some mega collection considering there's around 10 of them). I've also virtually ignored Resident Evil 4 for the last two weeks, so that'll hopefully keep me busy for awhile.

And finally getting into the meat of today's topic-Ads in videogames. Ads in videogames have been around longer than most people think (anybody remember Global Gladiators? great little game back in the 16-bit era that was pretty much a massive McDonald's ad, and I've lost count of how many games were horrid ads back in the Atari days because even cereal companies made videogames back then), in fact, many games are still nothing more than poorly developed ads for toys, movies or cartoon shows, but one game in particular is getting gamers cheesed off-The latest Need for Speed title from EA. Mainly because not only is the game littered with ads for companies that have little if nothing to do with cars (i.e. Burger King), but also because EA is the world's biggest publisher and it seems like a move strictly motivated to make even more money off an already top selling franchise rather than a sacrifice a little integrity so a quality game can get made. In all honesty, I could care less if every sword in my next rpg has a brand name on it, as long as it doesn't interfere with the gameplay. Much as I don't like EA, they (and most other established, credible companies) are smart enough to realize if they flood a game with ads and no gameplay, it will have repercussions in the bottom line where it will hurt them the most. Besides, extra cash flow will probably allow for them to do more experimental & edgy titles and take risks on things such as Oddworld: Outlaw (which based on the lackluster sales of previous Oddworld games, I'm suprised anybody would publish, not to mention those great games had many ads for Sobe placed throughout the earlier games). So, in the end, I honestly don't think us gamers have much to worry about...

Mini Review Smorgasboard

ok, the website has been down for awhile and for the last couple of weeks I've been talking mainly about what movies I don't want to see, so I thought I'd start off with some quick reviews of the movies I have seen recently, starting with:

In Good Company: Excellent comedy and commentary on the buisness world and ludicrousness of corporate mergers. Dennis Quaid & Topher Grace have suprisingly good chemistry on screen and they are really what drives the story along with a good performance from Scarlett Johannsen as well.

The Aviator: A great example of how people like Howard Hughes constantly straddled the line between genius and insanity on a near daily basis, and Dicaprio brings it across brillaintly. Also one of the few Alan Alda performances over the last last decade that didn't make me sleepy.

Hitch: Yes, it's a predictable and formulaic romantic comedy, but what romantic comedy isn't? What makes this one of those rare ones that work is two key things: We believe and like Will Smith & Eva Mendes as a couple. They fit and make sense (and you aren't really wondering why one is putting up with the other like so many mismatched romantic couples). And secondly, Will Smith & Kevin James are incredibly funny together, as every scene they are in is pretty much an absolute riot.

Million Dollar Baby: I just finally saw this today, and it seriously ranks as one of the better films of 2004. What could've been a cliched effort about a female Rocky instead makes belivable, real characters you feel for, a great and (mostly) uplifting story, and incredible perfomances from the power trio of Swank, Freeman & Eastwood. The only thing that deflated it a bit for me is the rather shocking ending was spoiled for me awhile ago, so I won't say anything about it here, but it's deifnitely the kind of movie everyone should see.

On the videogame front, I am literally at the end of Suikoden IV, the last save before the final boss, unfotunately it may be awhile before I beat it just because this is a rather cheap boss who unleashes not only extremely powerful spells that majorly damage your entire party, but a cheap ass sleep spell that ALWAYS works. There are few things I hate more than cheap ass spells in rpgs there are no defense against, it's a cheap trick to desperatley try and stretch out the length, rather than let the game flow more naturally and organicly. If I am able to trounce standard enemies in the final dungeon of an rpg, than the boss should be a challenge, but not nearly impossible, which is less & less the case but still annoyingly pops up every now and again.

And finally, the next big rpg in the Xenosaga series comes out tuesday, and while just about any rpg gets me interested, this will definitely be a rent first. The Xenosaga story is scaringly similar to the Star Wars story. While the original, Xenogears, which took place after the newer games in the series (I believe 3 more games are planned which will make it six episodes just like Star Wars as well) is a revered rpg classic. The new Episode One was a huge letdown with an overdone blah story that made little sense a spurious connections to the previous game (sound familiar yet?), now Episode II is coming out, and while the creators claim all the problems have been addressed with much shorter and more relevant cut scenes, revamped battle engine and even new more realistic graphics, reviewers seem to be saying only the hardcore (and somewhat in denial) fans will enjoy this dissapointing entry as well (hey, just like Episode II of Star Wars!), oh well, maybe episode three will finally turn the franchise around (that goes for both Star Wars & Xenosaga)...

Sounds like something out of Dilbert

"This is the design that we came up with. There may be people that complain about its usability, but that's something which users and game software developers will have to adapt to. I didn't want the PSP's LCD screen to become any smaller than this, nor did I want its machine body to become any larger.

"The button's location is [architectured] on purpose, it's according to specifications. This is something that we've created, and this is our specification. There was a clear purpose to it, and it wasn't a mistake."

This is a direct quote from SCE president Ken Kutaragi, responding to various reported design flaws with the PSP, Sony's portable that will be on American shores next month. I'd like to also note that it's going to be available here only in a dissapointingly high $250 bundle package, and while I would never reccomend cheap third party alternatives (they tend to outright cripple if not destroy your system of choice), it'd be nice to have the option if you wanted to save a few bucks. You know, when people complained about the xbox's massive controllers, they came out with new smaller ones, when people complained about the N-Gage's ridiculous way to insert games (you'd have to remove the battery pack every single time and put it back again), they came out with a new model that solved the issue. But not Sony, they say deal with it. Good way to burn your loyal customers and continuing the Sony tradition of crappy hardware.

Taking it like a grown up.

Apparently Rob Schneider has finally taken decided he's taken enough abuse from critics continually questioning why he has a career, as rather than take the high road, he bothered to take out a FULL PAGE ad in the Hollywood Reporter, blasting one critic in particular, and basically whining that his buddies will get him in the parking lot after 5th period. How fucking childish is this? Now personally, I consider Schnieder an incredibly unfunny hack that only has a career because Adam Sandler (who has limited talent, but is generally smart about the roles he picks) is a good buddy of his, but that has nothing to do with him as a person, Schneider is taking this whole thing to a personal level. Facing harsh criticsim is a big part of your job Mr. Schneider, EVERYONE in your profession and several others have to put up with it (especially with movies like The Animal & Deuce Bigalow in your resume). Most just laugh it off or completely ignore it(and with the amount of money you make, they should), you'd be best off doing the same, rather than making yourself sound like an insecure bully who needs to yell and threaten anytime someone dares to question him.

Boldly Going where many series have gone before...

It's official, Enterprise, the sole remaining Star Trek series, is being cancelled, without any replacements planned anytime soon (and no upcoming movies either). This will be the first time in nearly 20 years Trekkies will have nothing to watch. I've never been a huge Trek fan myself (I always thought Babylon 5 was superior and my favorite trek series: Deep Space 9, never got its due), but it's sort of sad to see such a formerly strong franchise with such potential limp off into the land of cancellation rather than go out with a bang. Granted, it's very likely we'll see some form of Gene Rodenberry's seminal vision sometime in the future, but after a couple of fairly mediocre films and abysmally awful shows (especially Voyager, the previous show), you've got to wonder if it'll ever be back in form or if anyone will care anymore. Oh well, there's still Andromeda....

And in the land of dumbass petty studio decisions, apparently the people at Fox studios are pissed off that Bryan Singer not only abandoned the X-Men franchise to direct the new Superman movie for Warner Bros, but he's also recruting X-Men stars to be in the film, such as James Marsden, Famke Jensen, and reportedly pursuing other cast members as well. It should be noted that while the new Superman film has a director, script and most of the roles cast already, the latest X-men film has no director or script or definite stars attached, but is planned to start shooting around the same time, which obviously would create scheduling conflicts, and Fox is going on the offensive, essentially telling anyone who signs up for the Superman film will not be in the next X-men film. What a brilliant way to totally destroy the series. Maybe if the more established actors of the X-men franchise take a stand (Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart), Fox will realize it would be smart to at least not make any decisions until they actually have a definitive direcotr and script chosen, and quite possibly play nice with the actors because the one thing fans hate is changing in actor that has already grown into the role and been accepted.

Ok, maybe world domination ain't so bad...

I spent most of my freetime this weekend playing Oddworld: Stranger for Xbox. It is published by EA, who I'm expecting will be competing with the likes of Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch in order to own every inch of the universe any day now, but if the results are excellent games like this, I may not mind. It's developed by Oddworld Inhabitants, who have brought us quirky, original and hilarious platformers the last few years (unfortunately, they have all been criminally ignored by the average gamer), but Stranger is mostly an FPS with a bit of third person actioner thrown in. It's sort of like an outerspace western, but what really sets it apart is that your ammo is actually living creatures that act as all different kinds of ammo, allowing for a very cool variety of strategies for all kinds of players. The only minus is that it's one player, as I think co-op and a mode of bounty hunters vs. outlaws would've been cool. If EA allows more great edgy titles like this to be developed under their banner, that would go a LONG way towards regaining some credibility in the gaming community.

One scary side note, I noticed that EA's deal with the NFL includes the option to do "other" games aside from the already established franchises like Madden & Street. Now, while this is most likely referring to a highly rumored management-themed title, this could lead to other bad idea to milk the franchise dry, like action games starring popular players like Terrel Owens. You think it won't happen? Just remember Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City and Shaq Fu.

On the movie side, the only things opening this week are Boogeyman (what the hell is it with all the bad horror movies this month? Why didn't they release them in October?), another horrible looking horror film with some guy from the WB whose name I can't remember. Then there's "The Wedding Date". Now, I love a GOOD romantic comedy, and Debra Messing is one of the funnier actresses out there, but this just screams bad rip off of My Best Friend's Wedding combined with a bad rip off of Pretty Woman, just with a male gigolo. Looks like another weekend of watching movies at home....

Finally someone has the right idea!

So, apparently in some small Australian state they are proposing that not only should there be regulations on the ridiculous overpricing of snacks & beverages at movie theatres, but that people should be allowed by law to bring in other food. Now normally, I'm not stupid enough to buy anything at the theater (although I did buy a ridiculously overpriced box of dots when I went to see Elektra because I was starving and didn't have time to run out and grab something from a nearby place), but the price of snacks in theatres is really getting ridiculous (plus they need to offer a wider variety of food in my opinion, although some offer stuff like pizza, salads and sandwiches, most have they same small offering of popcorn, bad hotdogs and overpriced small candy). I luckily live in a small town and normally catch a bargain matinee for about 5 bucks, but add even a small soda and one of the cheaper snacks and it quickly becomes 10 or more. The biggest ripoff is the nachos. Nachos are essentially my favorite food to eat at any kind of entertainment (if they offered good nachos at the ballet, I'd probably go all the time), but theater nachos are generally a complete rip off. They offer very small bags of chips you have to open yourself and a small little container of cheese, and if you want extra, they charge you something like a $1.50 more. I understand that they make the most profit from their snacks, not movies, but maybe something in their buisness model needs to change because pretty soon nobody's gonna have the money to spend on it anymore (but us americans are slow to catch on to these kinds of trends that involve any kind of common sense, so maybe not).

So, as I stated previously, two horrible-looking horror films are opening up this weekend, and I don't really intend on seeing either of them. First up is Alone in The Dark, with Christian Slater and Tara Reid. I don't know how, but somewhere along the line Slater became the poor man's Kevin Bacon, even though he's a pretty good actor, and now he gets shlock like this. It's based on the series that actually started the whole survival horror genre, but has been not only irrelevant but dead since the Resident Evil series of games came along and really defined the genre. Not only does this look nothing like the series it's based on (did we learn nothing from the Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within?, I guess not, because they are also doing a movie based on the Doom games that is already reportedly going to have very little to do with the games), but it also stars talentless blonde Tara Reid. Reid's a hottie with several great magazine layouts to her name, but I rarely have seen an "actress" with so little talent that seems to continually get movie roles (maybe she's a poor man's Elisa Cuthbert?). On top of that, it's directed by Uwe Boll, who did the abominable House of the Dead film and is determined to ruin several other video game films that he has snapped up the rights to because unfortunately he knows how to make a movie so cheaply that it'll make a profit from the opening weekend alone before word of mouth really gets out.

And then there's Hide & Seek, starring previously distinguished actors Robert Deniro & Dakota Fanning. Deniro's been slumming it for awhile with his awful sequels to mildly amusing comedies, but the cheesy horror genre represents a new low and I bet at this point, Fanning will take any high profile job she can get, regardless of the fact that she's the best child actor in a couple of decades. I've always liked the idea of evil kids (one of the few horror films I actually enjoyed was The Omen), but this is going to be another one filled with cheap scares, big plot holes and an incomprehensible "twist" ending like every horror movie in the last decade or so. I seriously think the last horror film I enjoyed on any level was "Scream 3" and that whole trilogy was more of a campy comedy with slasher level violence than an actual horror film. Next week is not looking too good either, but there are a couple of promising films on the horizon, namely Constantine with Keanu Reeves and March looks somewhat interesting.

On the videogame front, Oddworld: Stranger came out this week for Xbox. I'll hopefully be able to rent it tommorow, even though the bastards known as EA are publishing it, the Oddworld games have always been very creative and entertaining while managing to make good social commentary, and this one looks to continue that tradition while taking the series in a fresh direction.
Then there's Playboy: The Mansion for Xbox & PS2. You get to live out every man's fantasy and be Hugh Hefner. Unfortunately, you don't get to just hang around the grotto and sleep with several girlfriends. You have to also run Playboy magazine, which means getting key interviews and knowing trends of the public so you can actually make money. Now if this all comes together it sounds like a pretty good idea, but my guess is they didn't put much thought into it and are just going to sell it on the Playboy name alone.

And that's pretty much it for now. I know Johnny Carson passed away this weekend. Everything that could be said has been said about the man who defined late night, so I'll just end with a fond farewell to the consumate entertainer who we invited into our room for 30 years. Goodbye Johnny and hope you are giving them one hell of a show up there...

na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, GOODBYE!!!!!

Finally that spineless dipshit Michael Powell has announced he's resigning from the FCC. Maybe the next chairman will tell parents to take some fucking responsibility and be their own children's censor(that's probably just wishful thinking). I just find it incredibly ridiculous that the two biggest "scandals" were about a little nudity during a football game(let's not even got started on how much BS they put Howard Stern through). Not that I don't enjoy football (long suffering Chargers fan in fact), but it is a sport that celebrates violence, mostly sponsored by sex & alcohol. I hardly think a little nudity (especially the very amusing Desperate Housewives skit) is something we should be so shocked by, and it has had far reaching implications thanks to people who not only refuse to take any sort of responsibilty, but also have no real life.

On a side note, I saw Assault on Precinct 13 today, I'll have a full review up at the site tommorow, but in essence it was a ugly and violent remake with little in the way of redeeming values. And since the only things opening in the next couple of weeks are crappy-looking horror films(Alone in the Dark, Hide & Seek and Boogeyman), this is probably the last movie I'll be reviewing for a little while. Or maybe I'll catch up on films like Aviator if they are still playing...

The price is wrong

All right, can somebody explain to me the reasoning behind why the price for DVD TV shows is all over the map? I love picking up TV shows on dvd, it's a great way to catch any episode of any TV show, anytime you want (currently my collection is Angel Seasons 1-4, Buffy seasons 1-7, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys seasons 1-3 & Simpsons seasons 1-5). Most of the sets I buy are around $45 and I've never paid more than $60 for any one season of any show. So then can someone explain why some sets are around that price and others are anywhere from $80-$150 dollars? Law & Order, Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The Wire, any of the Star Trek Shows, Babylon 5 and many others fall in this ridiculous price range. There aren't any big extras to justify this and in the case of cable shows you are getting far less bang for your buck because they usually have a max of thirteen episodes as oppossed to most network shows where you get anywhere between 18-26 episodes. There's just no reasoning behind this whatsoever aside from some assholes in marketing decided to see just how high a price they can get away with. Oh well, time to go scour ebay...