The Top 11 Adorable badasses in gaming

Gaming is pretty much all about being a badass. You slaughter monsters, aliens, evil soldiers, rescue the girl, save the kingdom, planet, universe etc. Most of these games are populated by guys who you would never mistake for anything but a badass. But some games feature some of the cutest characters ever to give anybody an ass-whooping, and here are the top ones you wouldn't want to mess with on your best day:

11. Meracle (Star Ocean: Til The End of Time)

Gaming is filled with tons of sexy catgirls, but Meracle is deceptively amusing and adorable, and never crosses over into annoying, being the source of some of the best comedy moments in the game. She's also a complete maniac in battle, building her up properly with talents so as no guard and stun can make her the deadliest warrior in your group by a long shot.

10. Baby Mario & Baby Luigi (Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Mario Kart series)

Aside from being pretty decent drivers, any infants who travel through time in order to help their grown-up selves defeat evil aliens are babies who totally kick some ass. And they definitely aren't a hinderance like many younger partners in video games, having often to fight on their own against enemies just as powerful as anything the adult Mario Bros have ever faced.

9. Rocket the Slime(Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime)

Dragon Quest slimes are almost annoyingly adorable, being the official mascot of the DQ series and always grinning as though hiding something as you slaughter them mercilessly. Rocket is a rare breed however who manages to free his fellow slimes from the evil Plob. Plus he owns a giant tank that he can destroy just about everything with.

8. Bomberman (Bomberman series)

One of the most adorable mascots and yet one of the most psychotic. Seriously, the guy bombs the hell out of everything, and I mean everything. He will blow your ass to kingdom come just for looking at him the wrong way. He blows shit up with powerful explosives and looks adorable doing so. Seriously, everyone should be scared out of their wits whenever they see this guy anywhere, you know the little terrorist is just waiting for an excuse...

7. Moogle (Final Fantasy Series, Kingdom Hearts series)

Though mostly relegated to supporting roles as of late, the Moogles have a pretty solid history of badassery, most recently in the Tactics spin-off series, but their shining moment was probably FF VI, where not only was the incredibly powerful Mog a valuable party member, but early on in the game they fend off a fierce squad of soldiers from the evil Empire to defend an unconscious Terra.

6. Vivi (Final Fantasy IX)

He was supposed to be just a soulless weapon of mass destruction, but somehow an actual person emerged and we have one of the most endearing Final Fantasy characters ever. His childlike naivete and almost crushing moments of soul-searching make him someone you just wanna hold like a young child and tell them everything's going to be ok. And lurking under all that is still a weapon of mass destruction that could fry an army in 10 seconds flat if you truly piss him off.


5. Yoshi (Mario Series)
Mario's little green dinosaur sidekick has the toughest tongue (and 2nd strongest stomach) in gaming. The dude can eat just about anything, including spiny's and bomb-ombs, can hang from poles with it. Hell, he can even fly a little. That's pretty cool. To top off his badassness (and possible future descent into villainy), he takes his unborn young and hurls them at foes. That's like Punisher-level badassness right there.

4. Mickey Mouse (Kingdom Hearts, Epic Mickey)
Granted, his last 60 or so years of being someone Ned Flanders would think of as too bland doesn't hold well in his favor. But Mickey's early 8 & 16-bit games had him going on huge adventures and defeating villains with rather cool costume powers among others. And his recent role as mysterious Yoda-esque warrior in the Kingdom Hearts games have upped his badass credibility considerably. Add in the upcoming Epic Micky where he can kick your ass with a paintbrush and you have one cuddly ass-kicker.

3. Young Link (Zelda series)

Ganon is arguably one of the most badass villains in gaming. His plan is almost always to rule the world, and he always makes a very serious attempt (unlike say Bowser who has failed in his plans so many times it's a running joke now). And who usually stops him all by himself? More than a few times it's been a child named Link who takes on Ganon and his evil minions all by his lonesome, or with help from completely helpless sources (Tingle, Midna, Zelda, etc.). Mario might save the princess, but Link saves the world and usually the girl in the process, time and time again.

2. Mew (Pokemon series)

So adorable, and yet he could make Professor X's head explode with barely any effort. Arguably the most powerful psychic creature in all of fiction. This little pink dude can  probably rearrange the Universe if he really wanted to. He'd pretty much make any other badass run in complete terror, adorable or otherwise. Only one other adorable badass would probably have a chance of stopping him, and that's...

1. Kirby

Sure Mew is a powerful psychic, but a nearly indestructible pink ball of fluff that can swallow ANYTHING and copy its powers? That's the badass of all adorable badasses. Probably of regular badasses too. His upcoming Epic Yarn may be the cutest game of this generation and yet he does things like transform into a freaking giant tank! Kirby is the ultimate adorable badass, and if you tell him otherwise, he'll just swallow you up and spit you out like so many before...

That's the list. I plan to update again this week, hopefully Thursday or Friday. Until then, here's your TRAILER OF THE WEEK: The Dilemma


KK said...

The more adorable the character, the more difficult it will be to scrape your remains off the concrete when they're done with you. ;D

To the trailer, hmmmmm... the premise *seems* original, but has an underlying "been there, done that" feel to it. It would appear to offer a mediocre level of entertainment, but will ultimately regress to the same level of inappropriate humor found in all of the genre's films (dramedy).

I was very surprised to see that The Dilemma is being directed by Ron Howard, though (!?). Dramedies are totally outside his usual fare. The single fact that Howard is helming this film is almost enough to make me want to catch it, out of sheer curiosity. o_o

Eric Chrisman said...

Honestly barely any thought goes into what trailers I post unless it's something big. I just usually look for anything new, which some weeks is hard.