Legend of Zorro? More like Suck of Zorro. Saw 2? More like Suck 2. Weather Man? More like; well, you get the idea....

Today's title was inpsired by a very funny PVP comic I ran across:

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Another weekend, another slate of lame releases. I mean, seriously, nothing coming out this weekend looks promising in the least. Sure, Weatherman has Nicholas Cage & Michael Cane, but it also has hackjob driector Gore Verbinski (The Ring, one of the least scary horror movies of the last decade) behind the helm and seems almost like a retread of Family Man, just without the fantasy element. Saw II is a crappy slapped together sequel to an excruciatingly bad original, only with even worse actors this time.
Then there's Prime with Uma Thurman & Meryl Streep . The premise itself sounds interesting enough-A neurotic woman starts dating a much younger man who is also her therapist's (Streep) son. But the trailers seemed to really strain for laughs that just aren't there.
And finally there is the Legend of Zorro. You know how this automatically sucks-they added an annoying kid. It's always the death knell of a franchise to add a child. In other words, this weekend I will be catching up on movies I should've seen ahile ago like History of Violence.

Moving on, I did see Doom last Sunday, and it didn't suck, automatically making it the best video game adaptation in quite a while(arguably ever, but I actually liked the first Resident Evil movie & the first Mortal Kombat movie). It was far from a great film, but it had some good action, cool monsters and was faithful to it's video game origins.

Dear god-Uwe Boll can't be stopped. First, he acquires the rights to make an awful movie based on the awful game Postal, but before he unleashes that atrocity on the public-he's going to release his $60 million dollar "epic" fantasy Dungeon Siege as two seperate films. Hardly a new tactic, but these two films are only going to be a month apart. If he ever does get the right to make a film based on the Warcraft franchise I'm going on a little hunting trip in Germany....

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