Heartbeat! I'M LOOKING FOR A HEARTBEAT!

Though it probably has little if anything to do with the "classic" Don Johnson ballad, the horror movie Pulse is arguably the biggest movie opening this weekend. The latest Japanese horror film remade for American audiences. And just like The Grudge & The Ring, it will most likely be horrifically bad. It wasn't even screened for critics, the classic sign of a horrible film.

But also out Wednesday was Oliver Stone's take on the 9/11 tragedy, simply titled World Trade Center. I feel roughly the same way I feel about United 93. It's way too soon. People have pointed out other historic epics, but those were more than a generation after the fact. I think it's important to make films like this for future generations so they can learn about it, but there's no point when it's still pretty fresh in our minds.

For the family, there's Zoom, with Tim Allen and Cortney Cox. Allen has some solid family fare in his resume, but this just seems like a much weaker version of Sky High, and much like pulse, it was not screened for critics (though IGN has a review, they gave it a whopping 1 star).

And then there's Step Up, yet another horrible movie about dancing. Not that there has been a good one. There's been good movies with dancing mind you, just not one that's actually about dancing.

Moving on, Halo has a director. Though you have probably never heard of Neill Blomkamp, he's done some amazing short films that give me great confidence that this may be the first video game film to actually be really good:





So I'm a few days into my DDO free trial and I'm not digging it too much. Though the team aspect is interesting, you essentially have nothing to do unless you are going into an instance, and although it's keeping with D & D, the level cap is pretty low. It really is like WOW lite.

Finally, we all know that the DS has it's function as an educational device, but what about some sexual education? A Montreal-based developer has designed a game entirely focused on teaching how to reach orgasm. It's sort of subtle what with the theme technically being that you perform certain activities to please a blue cartoon bunny, so it will probably go over kids heads what the title is really about. But it's definitely interesting to see a game take such a direct approach to sexuality. I'm sure Jack Thompson will be suing over it any second now...