The Big Red Machine

Any other year, a movie like Hellboy II would seem like the easy mark for the big comic book movie of the Summer. The original, while not a mega-hit, was well received and has a healthy following, and the sequel seems to follow suit. But in a summer where you've got the somewhat surprise success of Iron Man, the revitalization of the Hulk and what many are already calling the greatest superhero movie ever in The Dark Knight, Hellboy seems to have almost been forgotten. Luckily it doesn't really have much direct competition this weekend, with another failure of an Eddie Murphy vehicle and a merely decent-looking Brendan Fraser special effects heavy film not having anything to do with mummies. But I can see it having a huge drop-off next weekend for obvious reasons, so they better make this one count.

And while anybody should be happy with the idea of Jack Thompson getting a decade-long ban from practicing law, how about a lifetime ban? Because that's what's apparently being recommended . I gotta tell you, it's stuff like this that makes me actually believe evil soulless jackasses will eventually be punished for all the crap they do.

That's really all I got for today, but I'll leave you with the TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Max Payne

Back to the future

Ok, in case you have no idea why I was so excited about a ticking clock in my last post, the reason is because it was a teaser site for CHRONO TRIGGER ON THE DS. If that still doesn't get you excited, get out of my sight, you disgust me. But seriously, The mere thought of of my favorite game ever on the go makes me tingly all over, and it's awesome that it is coming this holiday season as usually we have to wait quite awhile between the Japanese release of something like this and the US port.

Is the wait for what is already the greatest movie ever made unbearable? Two big releases this week should tide you over pretty well until next Friday: The blu-ray release of Batman Begins, and Gotham Knight, a collection of animated shorts by different acclaimed directors. I was pretty keen on Gotham Knight initially, especially since Bruce Timm, who is basically responsible for all the great DC animated shows over the last decade or so was involved and they had gotten Kevin Conroy, who voiced Batman in the animated series to star, but word is it's an interesting but forgettable collection of stories that aren't really connected to either of the movies and really do nothing to expand the Batman universe, so it sounds like a rental to me at this point.

And finally, to get all pumped up for the start of season 3 of the absolutely brilliant Psych, season 2 is out on DVD, so to get you pumped, here's a cool fanvid I found on youtube:

Sony giveth and Sony taketh away

Sony's long-awaited 2.4 firmware update that was to include long overdue features like in-game achievement trophies and in-game XMB. But the update was unceremoniously pulled a few short hours later due to "limited issues"/ In reality, it looks like another big black eye just after Sony had started to heal from the last one for delaying Killzone 2 til next year. Hopefully 2.4 comes back in full force, but if Sony ever wants a real chance at even giving the 360 a real run for their money, stupid mistakes like this need to stop happening.

So over the last few days, I saw both Wall-E & Wanted, and I can pretty much recommend both. Wall-E is great like most Pixar films, and Wanted, though a little silly, is a very fun over-the-top action flick.

Of course the big movie out this week has Will Smith once again pretty much owning July 4th with Hancock. The reviews seem to range from so-so to so terrible, but you could probably put Will Smith just grinning and saying "Aw hell naw" for 90 minutes and it would still make $100 million dollars. And it's nothing against Smith, he's a very talented guy (even the worst reviews seem to be praising his performance as one of the few highlights). I might see it, as I've mostly heard from friends that it's a decent matinee flick, but nothing I'd pay full price for.

And finally, OH MY GOD!!!!!

Son of number 5?

Granted kids (hell probably anyone under 25) won't remember, but I'm sure that for a lot of us that are starting to enter out not so young adult years, Pixar's annual instant classic, Wall-E, has a main character that bears a very, very strong resemblance to a rather cheesy yet fondly remembered character named "Johnny 5" from a movie called Short Circuit.



Definitely not a rip-off, but arguably a slight homage. I fully intend to be one of the many checking out Wall E this weekend as it seems like another brilliant movie.

I'm also very tempted to check out Wanted. Granted, it looks like a pretty direct Matrix rip-off, but a pretty well done one, and admittedly, Angelina Jolie is enough to get me to see almost anything.

That's really it for today, but I spent most of the early AM hours making a new video for the highly anticipated DS remake of Final Fantasy IV, so check it out:

HYPNOTOAD COMMANDS YOU TO BUY THE BEAST WITH A BILLION BACKS! ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!

Goodbye George

Not a lot of stuff really gets to me, but I just read that one of the great comedy legends, George Carlin, has passed away. This guy has always been nothing short of brilliant and the world is a lot stupider for having lost him. We'll miss you you miserable but hilarious bastard. I'm just going to post one of my personal favorite bits and probably do a regular post tomorrow:

Stupid Love

Ah, another weekend of two underwhelming (and possibly migrain-generating) summer "comedies". Mike Myers is back in front of the camera in his first live-action film in quite a few years, which seems to basically be Austin Powers 4, just without the swinging 60s references. It's a shame because reportedly he spent a lot of time fine-tuning his character in comedy clubs. This is reportedly already an early contender for worst movie of the year (and being that 10,000 B.C. has already come out, that's saying quite a bit).

And then there's Steve Carrell in his latest attempt to go from small screen god to big screen star in Get Smart. Granted, if you have to do a movie version, Steve Carell seems like the obvious choice, but the reviews seem to say much like Evan Almighty, this plays it a little too safe to in fact be as smart as it's legacy.

So what to do? Give Incredible Hulk a chance. I caught it on Tuesday and was pleasantly surprised. It has some weak points (mainly Liv Tyler), and it's a very different feel from Iron Man, but I think it's about as good a flick you can really do with that source material, because Hulk is a hard character to make a film for in the first place. I hope this one holds up strong, because they definitely planted lots of seeds for a sequel (not to mention possible tie-ins to other Marvel films) which I would like to see come to fruition.

In game news, Sega is starting to make me believe in Sonic again with their new trailer for Sonic Unleashed. But I'm warily optimistic, given how many times they've tried to re-launch the blue blur. This video seems like an awfully good start, however...



TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Death Race

Links, everybody loves links...

I'm directly ripping that header off from some gaming mag, either EGM or Game Informer, really the only two I read, but can't remember which. Anyways, not a whole ton of news since my last post, so I've just got a few cool links and a video or two for everyone to check out:

First up, everybody loves free games, and while one a week is pretty awesome, I've got a total of 60 in the two links I've got here, both from Gamesradar: For you old school shooter fans: The Top Ten Free Shoot-em-ups, and then for those looking for more variety, also from Gamesradar, The Top 50 free games. Obviously these aren't going to be on the scale of something like Mass Effect, but there are plenty of great little gems in there, especially if you are a fan of the old school point & click Sierra/Lucasarts titles.

And yet one more link from Gamesradar (I've plugged these guys so much they should be giving me free ad space at this point), the top 7 games that don't deserve nostalgia. There are few lists I agree with more wholeheartedly than this one. Pretty much every single game on there has not aged well or wasn't good to begin with and is nowhere near worthy of the ridiculous pedestal its put upon to this day. Final Fantasy VII being so worthy because of the insane level of praise it gets. Yeah, it was good, but it had plenty of flaws too, and those would probably be a lot more evident if a remake with nothing but a graphical overhaul was actually made like the fans keep clamoring for. If you doubt that, take a look at the mostly horrible crap spin-off material that has spewed from FFVII since it's release, most notably Advent Children.

And just a few videos to finish off the day, first up, The Philosophy of Billy Mitchell. If you thought he was a giant ass when you watched King of Kong (and if you haven't watched that, go out and buy/rent it immediately), you'll think even less of him now:



And a fake, but hilarious trailer for King of Kong 2:



Finally, since I probably won;t update again til at least Tuesday, check out this pretty cool fan trailer for what is for my money, the best action show on TV, Burn Notice, which the first season of comes out on Tuesday, so check it out before the second season premiere in July.

Hey waiter, there's some Iron Man in my Incredible Hulk!

Marvel is really pulling out every stop they can to try and give people a reason to see their second big hero movie out this year, The Incredible Hulk, casting some serious actors like Ed Norton and Tim Roth, trying to make it look nothing like Ang Lee's disastrous effort several years ago, and even blatantly showing that it has some tenuous connection to Iron Man since that has been a success well beyond anyone's expectations. And by all accounts, it is a much better effort, but I'm not sure the same interest is there, if for no other reason than Hulk, at least is in his movie incarnation, isn't a good guy superhero, he's just a big guy who likes to smash stuff. And there is some appeal in that, but not the same across the board appeal you get to make something a big hit like Iron Man or Spider-Man or Batman (only now am I realizing how utterly uncreative these superhero names are), and Marvel is very much banking on this film to be up there with Iron Man in order to try and legitimize themselves as a studio powerhouse capable of mostly doing their own movies for their properties. I want it to be good, and most reviews are very positive, so I'll probably check it out, but not opening weekend.

And as far as the other movie opening this weekend, The Happening, I've more or less made my thoughts on this giant waste of celluloid well known, so instead of wasting more energy and hate just go ahead and enjoy the FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Skywire

Snake Eyes

So yeah, the PS3's supposed salvation comes tomorrow in the form of Metal Gear Solid 4. But this declaration seems like a desperate fanboy thing. Yeah, The Metal Gear Series has a pretty solid legion of followers, but it's nowhere near Halo or GTA or FF numbers. It's never had to be a system seller, and now it's in the unique position of trying to be a game that legitimizes the PS3 as something more than a blu-ray player with a couple of games. Personally, I pretty much lost interest after the incomprehensible mess I considered both 2 & 3 to be. Pure weirdness aside, the dialogue was always laughable and the plots never made the slightest bit of sense. Fans will defend that as a positive trait, but great games with totally insane plots (i.e. No More Heroes) at least make sense in their own twisted universe, Metal Gear as of late has stuck to no such rule. It's actually good to hear Gabe & Tycho spew their vitriol on the series because I seemed to be alone in my... hatred is too strong a word, but indifference fits pretty well. I'm sort of intrigued to try it out just to see if maybe, much like GTA IV, this really turns my opinion around on the series (and so I have an actual PS3 game to play on my PS3), but quite frankly, I'm a little too busy currently enjoying Persona 3 (another example of a great game with a crazy story that makes sense in its own universe) to just go out and buy much of anything else right now.

That's really all I got for today, but I'll definitely be back tommorrow with my thoughts on this weekend's releases. Until then, here is your TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Babylon A.D.

Hit the road, Jack.

This is it, this should be the nail in the coffin for psycho anti-gaming lawyer Jack Thompson, as he's been recommended for a 10-year disbarment. Not helping matters is that he walked out of the hearing, claiming the judge didn't have the authority to oversee the case. You know, at some point this guy went from intelligent yet soulless ambulance chaser to just plain nuts and I'm wondering what triggered it. Oh no, wait he was always fucking nuts, nevermind.


Lots of big games out this week, but with Bourne Conspiracy seeming to be just another mediocre action title and Ninja Gaiden II being a follow-up to a game so frustrating I nearly broke my original Xbox, the only one I had my eye one was Lego Indiana Jones. I really enjoyed Star Wars being Legoized so I thought Indy would be just as fun. For the most part it is, but there are some camera & A.I. issues (along with a lack of online play) that make this seem like an effort that doesn't really make the most of the license. Hopefully these problems will be resolved when Lego Batman hits or I won't be nearly as kind.

I love a good animated film, and word on Kung Fu Panda is extremely solid (which is surprising, given that it's an animated movie not made by Pixar). So I will most likely be checking that out this week.

Gamer on an extremely tight budget? Not to worry, there are plenty of awesome new budget games that don't suck coming out this year. Just check out GameRadar's list of games coming out this year that cost $20 or less (I really can't wait for Castle Crashers to finally get done).

TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Finding Amanda

BEYOND GOODER & EVILER

The header is a slight reference to the brilliantly awful subtitle of Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Anyways, not really much of an update today, but I just had to post about the best announcement ever: Beyond Good and Evil, one of the best games literally ever, is getting a sequel. It's sort of a shock because like many awesome, daring & critically acclaimed titles of that same era (The Oddworld games, Metal Arms, Psychonauts, etc.), the game sold very poorly. This could only come out on a $100,000 arcade cabinet and I would probably save up until I could afford it. I'll probably try and track down a copy of the original so I can beat it again before the new one comes out (though my guess is that won;t be til '09, so I have awhile).

Pretty much the only other thing I wanted to post today is an awesome youtube video by a guy who pretty much lays out the whole sex & videogames debate in the most intelligent way possible (which of course means no one will take him seriously):



But I do also have your TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Eagle Eye

VIDEO DAY: MY Top Ten Scrubs Moments

Ok, Let's quickly sum up my feelings on the two things that came out this week: Penny Arcade Episode I: Good value for fans of the comic, the wit is there and the battle system is top notch, though I don't know that I'd pay $20 more for the same 8 hours of the same gameplay in slightly different settings. Indiana Jones: Good, not great. I think most of the people bitching about it had way too much expectation built up. If this was the new Mummy film or anything but Indiana Jones they probably would've enjoyed it more. It some great moments and some horrible ones, but it was a solid flick overall. And yeah, since I had nothing else to really talk about, in honor of Scrubs official resurrection on ABC this fall, I thought it would be fun to post my top ten moments (at least out of what hasn't been yanked off the internet yet). Except for #1, these are pretty much in random order:

#10: Turk's Airband Audition



#9: Over The Rainbow



#8: Turk Gets Schooled on Rap



#7: What A Difference A Day Makes



#6: Perry's Perspective



#5: The Todd vs. an Old Lady-WHO YA GOT?!?



#4: Kung-Fu Fighting



#3: Overkill



#2: JD gives his Cox impression



#1: COX PUNCHES KELSO



And here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: EXTREME TANK WARS

M. Night Shamalayandandong is the best fucking director ever. Just ask him.

Ever Since Signs, I haven't thought much of Mr. M. Night as a director. But that's fine, there are plenty of awful directors who still get to make movies all the time. But this week, he's veers into Uwe Boll territory with his ridiculous comments about his latest movie (which has already been trashed in a few early reviews), The Happening:

If something happens during the movie and you think, ‘That’s dumb,’ it’ll be because whatever happened was actually too amazing for you to fully understand, or possibly a metaphor for something really crazy and cool

Oh just go fuck yourself. If Happening makes more than $45 mil it's entire theatrical run I will be shocked. You're a goddamn one-trick (ok maybe two-trick because I actually like Unbreakable) pony and you've shown it repeatedly over your last several "films". I really hope this is the film that finally makes Hollywood accept that you're not worth employing for an Old Navy Commercial, much less any more films.

But here's some news that should make everybody happy: JACK THOMPSON IS GOING TO JAIL! Ok, probably not, as I don't think anything he did will get him serious jail time, but this officially makes him a joke and certainly his bar certification being revoked can't be far behind. Oh Jack, how I will miss your crazy legal antics. But I'm sure Fox News will hire you as an "expert" or something.

Finally, Wii Fit is out this week. I'm sure it will be a huge hit with the non-gamer audience Nintendo is supposedly trying to reach, but isn't this yet another exercise fad that will be hot for a couple of months and then no one will remember it? There are supposed to be actual games in the pipeline for the balance board, so if those actually turn out good, I may invest in it, but for now, I'll get my exercise in much cheaper ways, like walking.

TRAILER OF THE WEEK: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

More like Chronicles of Blahrnia

I don't really get why I have absolutely no interest in this weekend's big release, Prince Caspian. I enjoyed the original, it's a big fantasy epic, which I usually love, and it's getting very solid reviews. But the ads & trailers just don't really excite me. Doesn't mean I'll avoid it like the plague or anything, but I'm probably not making any real plans to check it out either.

Two very interesting articles about the future of Scrubs are up at IGN. The first is a fairly candid interview with creator Bill Lawrence about the new direction for the eighth and possibly final season. I say "possibly" because the second article brings up the possibility of Scrubs getting at least one more season at its new home on ABC if it does reasonably. I'd love to see it go 10 just because so very few shows have done that and really none that have lasted that long (or certain shows that have lasted longer and are still on the air) have retained the consistent level of brilliance Scrubs puts out every week.

That's really it for today, but I'll probably have another post up on Sunday. In the meantime, here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Chronotron

A Leaf on the Wind

So, Wii's Wii Ware service launched this morning. I downloaded both Lostwinds & My Life as King, which turned out to be worthwhile purchases. I may even spring for some of the donwloadable content for MLK. The other titles seem to be the sort that I fear may ruin the potential of the service if too many just get shoved online and little gems get lost in the shuffle. Defend Your Castle is fun, but it's something you can play for free on your computer. TV Show King sounds like a decent family trivia title, but those things tend to get old quick. And Pop is just one of those weird oddities that you wonder how anybody justified this being anything more than a free game at Newgrounds. But it's a promising start. Now if between Wii Ware & VC updates, if there aren't at least a couple of quality downloadable titles a month, there's something seriously wrong.

But that isn't even the biggest problem. With Wii Ware out, those miniscule Wii hard rives are going to really start being pressed for space. Granted, an inexpensive SD will take care of it the storage problem itself, but you can't load games directly from an SD card, so every time you wanted to play something you have to move shit around. Ridiculous. Nintendo either needs to make a hard drive expansion, or the ability to play from SD cards (and the ability to use SDHC cards in a future update wouldn't be a bad idea either).

I also took some time to try out the Haze demo on PS3. What I played was fairly entertaining, but if you're still playing COD4, this isn't going to make you stop playing.

And I'm going to end the night with some awesome TV news: Reaper has been picked up for a second season, which is great because it's definitely one of the smartest shows on TV right now. Just too bad we have to wait til February for the new season.

TRAILER OF THE WEEK: X-FILES: I Want To Believe

Reflections from a lapsed Comic Nerd

I've been a video game and movie nerd all my life, but in my early years I was also pretty big into comics, Spider-Man was certainly my favorite, but I had a pretty wide range of comics from every brand. But I eventually got less & less interested, and the Clone Wars saga pretty much sealed it for that I was done. I've retained a somewhat sparse interest, reading the occasional mini series or graphic novel. So, going to this year's Emerald City Comic Con, which was the first such Con I've been to in well over a decade, I felt completely lost and out of place. I barely recognized any of the titles, most of the "name" artists were people I've never heard of, and there just wasn't much I was interested in. Oh it was great to get my photo taken with Jame Bamber and Julie Benz (you check out those photos and some others here, and it was fun to see a fair amount of people in costumes, but I think the most surprising thing is that it was nothing compared to the scale of something like Sakuracon or PAX. It was actually a rather subdued affair, more like a trade show than a communal gathering. I mean sure, vendors are there to mostly hock wares, but it seems like people were also mainly there to buy those wares rather than enjoy the chance to bond with fellow geeks about a mutual hobby. I did have fun overall, but my attendance next year is questionable, probably completely depending on what celebs I might be able to get a photo with, whereas with something like PAX, you could even have Gabe & Tycho not attend and no one there would care because it's much more of a general gamer community thing.

Moving on, the big game news for this week is that the Wii's Xbox Live Arcade-esque service, Wii Ware, is launching this Monday. How does the line-up look so far? It's your usual mix of one or two very promising titles standing out from what looks like complete rubbish. I certainly plan on downloading LostWinds, but I'll wait for reviews of My Life as King, the other titles I don't even care about, but there are already some promising titles on the horizon like Eternity's Child. I really hope this turns into what I hoped Xbox Live Arcade would be, a real great device for fantastic original independent titles. Of course we'll have to wait and see, but the fact that that there will be games launch day that you won't or can't see on other systems is very promising.

Ludicrous Speed

Even though many people my age love Speed Racer in all of its ridiculous camp and bad dubbing, I never got into the show either during my youth or my current adult years. It just seemed a little too stupid. Though at the very least this seems to be a movie that's fine for the kids while not completely alienating the grown-ups who are still fans.

The success of Iron Man has Marvel already talking about there next several films, aside from the obvious sequel, Captain America & Thor are on the slate. Thor will no doubt be hard, but I think Jensen Ackles would be perfect for Cap.

In other movie news, a Bioshock movie has been announced, with Gore Verbinski as the director. Sounds like a winning combination, but I think a prequel showing how Rapture went all to hell would be much better than what might end up being a crappy sci-fi slasher because Verbinski hasn't shown any talent for horror (yes, I'm saying The Ring sucked).

That's all for today, but I am going to the Emerald City Comic Con on Saturday, so I'll certainly be back on Sunday with plenty of pictures of nerds in disturbing costumes (and probably a few of celebs there such as Jamie Barber). Until then, here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Rock Paper Scissors Extreme Death Match

Timing is everything

So yeah, Iron Man was pretty goddamn awesome. I felt the finale came a little too suddenly, but the casting was perfect, and it was a lot of fun. This sets the Summer movie bar tremendously high.

Between this week and last week, I'm really starting to question Nintendo's judgement on scheduling their titles. I mean, the shadow of GTA IV is still looming large and probably will be for a couple more weeks, but the Summer schedule is looking extremely light. Titles like Mario Kart & Steven Spielberg's Boom Blox (in stores now, which I honestly didn't remember even though I've been really interested in the title), which are getting high praise, but little attention are inevitably buried. There's virtually nothing out over the next few months in terms of games, and Nintendo could've easily owned the Summer between Wii Fit, Wii Ware, Mario Kart & other cool quirky titles like Boom Blox. Though maybe it's for the best, as I'm definitely planning to use these lean upcoming months to catch up on my game library. I've still got Metroid Prime 3 sitting, barely played even though it's a fantastic title and quite a few portable titles to get through. Though there may be a big sleeper hit in a little title called Operation Darkness much like Overlord was a very pleasant surprise last Summer.

Stride is the best gum ever. I don;t even really chew gum, but Stride has pledged to give free gum to everybody who signs to anti-Uwe Boll petition if it reaches 1 million by May 14. Bless you, Stride. Maybe some other company will get in on this and up the ante, like free Burger King fries or something (maybe we could even make a t-shirt that says "I stopped Uwe Boll!").

And finally, in place of the usual trailer of the week, I'd like to remind you that this Thursday is the last ever episode of Scrubs on NBC. Now don't fret too much, as it is a virtual lock to be on ABC next season, but the finale looks to be a blast, so check out these awesome clips to get yourself pumped:

Tony Stark vs. Niko Belic-WHO YA GOT?

The biggest box office battle to date isn't between to movies, but two different entertainment mediums colliding this weekend in the battle of GTA IV vs. Iron Man, many analysts are predicting that GTA may affect Iron Man's box office as people choose to stay home and play rather than take two hours to watch arguably the biggest film this year not called Indiana Jones. Sounds a little silly to me. For one, most people will probably look forward to a slight break from all the time they are putting in. Secondly, despite morons like Jack Thompson claiming that 10-year olds are snapping up the game, GTA is still rated M, which means plenty of youngsters will not have their hands on it leaving them free to go see the awesome PG-13 rated goodness. People blamed Halo 3 for a poor box office the week it came out, but none of the releases that week were particularly enticing, so it's hardly a fair comparison. Yes, some people will probably still stay home and enjoy their weekend in Liberty City, but hardly enough to really put a dent in Iron Man's opening salvo.

So yes, I have played a few scant hours of the new GTA. MY impressions? This is GTA as I always thought it should be on some levels. I've never been a big fan of the series as a whole because despite it's stronger points like a gigantic city being your virtual playground, lots of huge issues that people just seemed to completely ignore that drove me nuts. The crap auto-aiming. The clumsy fighting. The repetitiveness of the missions. The weak & disjointed story. But most importantly-The supposed ability to do anything and everything boiled down to driving around and shooting people until the cops stopped you, which to me was only fun for a couple of hours. This new GTA addresses the biggest issue, as you can actually do lots of different things that are mostly entertaining-like bowl, watch TV, catch a show, etc.

But some problems still remain. The driving is horrendous. The camera is problematic at best. The combat still sucks. The story missions are fairly repetitive. But everything else works so well and creates a living, breathing metropolis that is amazing to just walk around in, much less drive. So even if you haven't been crazy about the GTA games in the past, give this one a shot because I really think it's the open-sandbox game that they've always strived for, and one of those games that finally shows us what next-gen hardware is capable of aside from a pure graphical upgrade.

TRAILER OF THE WEEK: Hamlet 2