4/13/2010

Movie Adaptations that will probably never happen (but should)...

Seems like everything is getting a movie these days. Hell even the goddamn creepy ass e-trade baby has a frakking movie in development (and why not? The Geico Caveman had a fantastically awful TV show). But despite nearly everything and everyone at least getting a shot at developing a movie based off something (you know, instead of coming up with original ideas for the screen), there are some perfectly good ideas that will probably never see the light of day in anything other than their current incarnation whatever that may be. So here are 10 I think should be made into movies that probably never will be.



The Question is probably my favorite DC B-Lister, and while it would be great to see a movie about him, I can see why there may never be one. He's an even more eccentric Batman, not the most likeable hero, no super powers and also just an incredibly tough role to cast. Ok, you could have Jackie Earle Haley do it, but since the question is basically a less psychotic version of Rosarch, I don' know if he'd want to. Probably just a little too outside the mainstream yet too close to Batman for people not familiar with the Question to see it as anything but a rip-off.




Admittedly I have a rather unhealthy fondness for Disney's own answer to the Dark Knight, but that doesn't change the fact that it was a fantastic cartoon and would make an excellent family film if handled correctly. Alas, the fact that the last time this was even on the air was years ago and again it may be seen as a "mere Batman knock-off" put it solidly in the highly unlikely column.




The Goblin series is one of the smarter books about adventuring, hence while it will probably be never be made into a movie. Jig, the protagonist, is neither handsome nor brave, nor has any special abilities. Except that of common sense, which many heroic adventurers actually lack. Hence why audiences would probably hate him, even though this could be a brilliant smart alternative to all the overrated teen fantasy popping up in cinema lately.



SPOOON! Though the delightfully naive Tick is the complete opposite of Jig, being strong, brave and incredibly stupid, the series itself has always been a rather brilliant send-up of the superhero genre in general. But it would probably be Spinal Tap all over again, with the joke being too smart for the room. Audiences as a rule are stupid and like their heroes clear cut and simple.



Arguably the craziest superhero to ever exist, Freakazoid would be nearly impossible to put to film and make any sort of sense, but damn it if somebody wouldn't try. Sort of like if Superman had a psychotic break, but still did good deeds. Again, too smart for the room, also probably too smart for Hollywood. Though frankly since Spielberg has gone insane, I'd rather he leave this creation untarnished.

Ok that's pretty much the list. I realize I've been slacking a little bit on movie trailer of the week and game of the week, but those will continue on the next post, which should be either tomorrow or Thursday.

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