Best,. Week. Ever.

So I saw Mission Impossible 3 today, and although the plot was damn predictable, it was a very fun action film. I highly reccomend you at least try and see past the crazyness that is Tom Cruise because the man can still deliver a very solid action flick.

Now, why is this coming week the best week ever? Not only is Season 3 of Scrubs out on DVD this Tuesday, but this week is the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, running from the 9th through the 12th, and it promises so much more than last year's somewhat dismal showing. This year, rather than merely presenting system protoypes and what most of us believe (and I still will to someone actually plays the damn things) was impressive but pre-rendered footage, we actually finally get to see just exactly what Sony & Nintendo really have up their sleeve, and if MS really has anything to counter them with (namely meaning if Gears of War & Too Human are not only playable, but also if they are any good). You can get the official list of the known titles here. Hopefully there will be a few suprises as well, but I can easily say I am most anticipating the lineup for Nintendo's new system, especially since somebody from Time Magazine has gotten some early play wth the unique controller and was reportedly extremely impressed.

Ok, that's really all I got for today, but I'm not working Tues. or Wed., which should be the biggest days of E3, so I'll definitely post my thoughts on what's happening for both those days.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it....

Is to try and ignore the fact that Tom Cruise is not only a complete loon, but possibly the WORST DANCER EVER:



Because despite the fact that I absolutely hated last year's War of the Worlds, I am pretty pumped about MI3 this weekend. The previews look very solid, and despite the nonsesical plots, I enjoyed the 2 previous films. It's also pretty much the only film even worth mentioning that's opening this weekend.

USA Today has published their annual "Save our Shows" Survey, trying to drum up support for shows near cancellation. Not surprisingly the top two are critically acclaimed brilliant shows that for some reason not enough people watch. It is a seriously sorry state of TV when Deal or No Deal is a ratings monster, but Scrubs & Veronica Mars are nearing the edge of cancellation despite all the positive press the critics have given them. Those are two of my favorite shows, but given that even if NBC drops Scrubs, ABC has repeatedly said they would gladly pick it up, and Veronica Mars is one of only 2 acclaimed shows on UPN (the other being the excellent Everybody Hates Chris), I'm not too worried.

Ok, that's really all I have for today.

Why Can't Wii be Friends?

Unfortunately, it's just a fan made movie, but I gotta admit, it looks pretty damn cool. If The Big N can make their ad campaign that hip, they might be able to turn this thing around(and yes, I've finally bothered to learn how to post videos directly onto my blog, so that will be a regular thing).

Of course, they may not need to. In addition to Red Steel, Super Monkey, Madden, Metal Slug and even the upcoming Spider-Man 3 game are all getting exclusive Nintendo versions specifically designed to work with the controller (add in Smash Bros online and there's no way I'm not having one on launch day). E3 is next week, and it holds a helluva more promise than last year's dissapointing show.

Several new Trailers popped up this week: A new Superman trailer, a new Pirates of the Carribean Trailer, and the first 007 trailer. While I was extremely impressed by both POTC & 007, the Superman one didn't impress me much. The effects looked a little hokey, and aside from Kevin Spacey, none of the actors seemed convincing. I remain hopeful it'll still come together, but I'm not nearly as I hyped as I previously had been.

Ok, that's really all I got for today, except for the FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: FAMILY GUY vs. AMERICAN DAD

Stop playing with your Wii!!!!

See. sound silly and immature, doesn't it? Well that's what the average Nintendo fanboy has come out and said. That anybody who is deriding the name for Nintendo's new system is simply immature and possibly homophobic, cause let's face it, the name is damn fruity no matter what way you put it. That being said, this system was suppossed to bring Nintendo back into the more mainstrem audience. The average gamer. The average person. And the average person, especially the average gamer, is exactly that-immature as hell and not looking to buy anything that they might percieve as silly (or "ghey"), which is exactly what a name like "Wii" implies. Hell, at best, it makes the system, once again, sound like a toy. And people, generally speaking, are only willing to spend so much on a toy. Really, the only way Nintedo can regain any groud at this point is too have an absolutely killer E3 showing, and with Sony & MS already having some gauraunteed big guns, that's going to be a major challenge to say the least.

That's really all I have for today-haven't had a whole lot of time to play with Atelier Iris 2 or Lost Magic, but I'm enjoying both of the so far.

FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Zelda Invaders

Wii are not amused.

Nintendo's officially announced their name for the Revolution, and the only explanation I can come up with is those higher-ups in Japan must be on some incredibly good acid. No matter what way you try to spin it, this is officially the stupidest idea in video gaming history. No one wants to buy a Wii. No one wants to admit owning or even thinking about a Wii. Nintendo devotees have a hard time getting respect as is, this is going to make them the mockery of the next generation. I know Japanese and American cultures are very different, but there is no way Reggie Fills-Aime is going to be able to talk about a system named Wii to an American gaming press with a straight face. I guarantee you, if Nintendo goes ahead with this, it will flop bigger than Michael Moore endorsing Jenny Craig. I'll probably still buy one assuming the controller lives up to its potential, but I will never call it by that name. EVER.

Ok, let's quickly move on to this weekend's movies before I say something I regret:

United 93: From all reports, this is an extremely powerful movie that manages to be respectful of the people on the plane and their families. But I'm still not going to see it. I believe it is way too soon for stuff like this. This wasn't 20-60-100+ years before most of us today were even born, it was very recent history, and I find something incredibly ghoulish about that (especially since at least a few roles were played by the actual people who were involved in the event).

RV: I had a little hope that since this movie has Robin Williams & Cheryl Hines, who are usually hilarious, starring; and Barry Levinson directing, that it might be a long overdue fresh take on wacky family vacation films. Unfortunately, the answer from critics so far seems to be a resounding no. I guess I will just have to wait with high anticpation for Mrs. Doubtfire 2(note extreme saracasm).

Although Stick It is from the same people that brought us the fairly enjoyable Bring It On, this one doesn't seem nearly as interesting or filled with contagious pep. I'd also feel kind of creepy seeing a film filled with teenage high schoolers in leotards, even if most of them are actresses over 18....

And finally there's Akeelah and the Bee. Great another movie where some whacked out mentor takes a troubled but promising kid under his wing and makes them excel at something that normal kids would mock them for. It's only a matter of time before they have one about a troubled kid that learns to better themsleves through sowing....

Lost in a Sea of RPGs

So, I haven't even finished Oblivion yet, and I just recently picked up the original Mario & Luigi for my DS since I never beat it (it was pretty damn hard, which is suprising for a Mario game). Suikoden V & Shadow Hearts: The New World are seeming more and more tempting to me. To top it off, several new rpgs released this week as well. Something had to break. So today I picked up Lost Magic for my DS and Atelier Iris 2 for my PS2. I almost also got Metal Saga, but figured I should at least wait till I finish or get bored one of the now 4 rpgs I have occupying my plate.

The main reason I went with those particular titles is they are pretty unique. Lost Magic, while having a fairly banal story, makes extensive use of the stylus, which no other current title I own does (it's like an RTS, excpet that you use the stylus to draw runes in order to cast spells). And Atelier Iris 2 places emphasis on combining items & essences for effective use in battle, which makes for some truly creative strategy. Admittedly though, I bought both on a complete whim, so hopefully it pays off, I'll let you know by the weekend.

The PS3's price finally revealed? Lord only knows. $400 certainly seems reasonable, but what does that include? And are they going to go with two models like MS did (hopefully if they do, one won't be completely fucking pointless)? It seems likely enough, but I'll take it with a grain of salt til I hear officially from Sony.

Looking for a new MMO experience? Somebody's gone ahead and compiled a list of the best free MMOs, I'm sure at least one should fill your needs while not making your wallet any lighter.

IGN has listed their top ten comic book movie villains. Although not technically a comic book villain, I'm pretty sure Ben Affleck should get at least an honorable mention for tarnishing Daredevil forever.

Alright, that's all for today, I'll definitely be back tommorow with a look at this weekend's movies.

Defining "Next-Gen"

I almost leaped into the "next generation" this week, as it's not that hard to find a 360 at either your local game store or mass merchants like Walmart and Best Buy anymore. But as I gave it some serious thought, aside from the still somewhat scary price tag (easily over $600 if you include a couple a games, at least one more controller, and a year's service of live, which is the best value); I had to really look and ask, what is the 360 offering that I can't currently get? Sure, it has prettier graphics and I can load custom soundtracks and whatnot, but really, what is the 360 offering that I can't already experience? Online play? Nope, I can already do that. Watching DVDs? I can already do that. And as I started thinking about it-A worrisome thought occurred to me: Neither Sony or Microsoft are really offering anything new-Now or in the near future, it seems. We see unparalled levels of graphic capabilty-but that doesn't change the basics of the game. What defines "next-gen", at least in my opinion, is truly different gameplay that wasn't possible before. There were huge leaps in terms of what games could actually do when gaming what from 8 to 16 to 32 to whatever bit the Xbox, PS2 and Gamecube roughly classify as. Halo, even with much simpler graphics, would simply not be possible on a PS one or a Dreamcast. 3D platforming games that we play today simply would not work on a snes or genesis. You get the idea. So, what are the upcoming games of next-gen really offering? Look at Fight Night 3. While the game is extremely-impressive looking on the 360, it's still at it's core not drastically different from versions on the Xbox or the PS2. Sure, the cuts look more real, and the punches look more brutal, but the game is still roughly the same at it's core. Or for an even better example-just take a look at Oblivion-it is a bigger, prettier version of Morrowind, but that's truly all it is. The core of the game remains the same. And I haven't seen anything in highly anticipated titles for either the 360 or the PS3 that screams-THIS GAME IS DIFFERENT AND NEW to me. Why is that? It boils down to philosphy-To both Sony and MS, their definition of next-gen is "more". More people being able to play online, more non-gaming related capabilites, more robust graphics. When really, the philosphy of next-gen should be "different". As in-We now offer something completely different than what you could do before. And I see that in the Nintendo Revolution. Their setup, assuming it performs to its potential, offers something different. If you've read the most current issue of Game Informer, you've undoubtedly read their huge cover feature on Red Steel. Now that is pretty much the definition of "different". I will admit, When I first saw the controller, I thought we'd simply be getting slightly better-looking versions of the crappy gimmick titles you'd get from things like Eye Toy. But, if Red Steel is any indication, Nintendo (and Ubisoft) has the right idea of what next-gen is actually suppossed to be-something I really couldn't experience previously. And that will really be the key to winning the console war in the long run.

FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: FANCY PANTS ADVENTURES!

The ever expanding universe

It seems like Sega has finally wised up, as Phantasy Star universe will be coming to the 360. This virtually gaurantees me getting one in the near future if not immediately (still a little hard to find in my area). If things work right, this could be the first real cross-console MMO with PS2 & 360 people playing together.

The PS2 has dropped to $129. Giant who cares. Seriously, this might've meant something a year or two ago, but even though the PS2 probably has a couple viable years left,but that's mainly for the already intalled base. Not many are going "well I wasn't going to pick it up at $150 brand new, but now that's it's $20 wholr dollars cheaper, I can't possibly pass this up!".

I finally got to watch the long-awaited english version of Advent Children, which will be out in stores Tuesday. FFVII fans will most likely enjoy it, as the action scenes are great and it looks fantastic. But the dialgoue is very stiff and the it lacks a decent plot, so anybody who is not a Square fanboy probably won't enjoy it.

As for movies opening this weekend, the best bet clearly seems to be American Dreamz. The reviews aren't that solid, but it still seems like a good bet and anything from the same guy who brought us About a Boy can't be that bad.

I'm sure Keifer Sutherland fans will line up to see The Sentinel. The problem? Everybody is expecting this to be 24, and it's obviously not. And this has been done before and better in movies like In the Line of Fire and The Fugitive and every other movie where a good guy is wrongly framed for a crime.

And then there is Silent Hill. Not only is this yet another video-game based movie that the studio did not screen for critics, it's based on a series of bad and unscary video games that mainly rely on creepy fog and slow, dumb freaks of nature that wouldn't frighten a small child. No wonder Roger Ebert watches crap like this and claims games aren't art...


Finally, for a little fun: For a while now, there's been a fun conspiracy theory that Mario is in fact a clever communist campaign. So here's a really clever cartoon based on that concept.

The Cyber-revolution will be televised.

Cyber-athlete. Even as an avid gamer, I used to relentlessly make jokes about people who considered themselves "professional" gamers. Who the hell want to watch someone play videogames? And how could you ever make a living off of it? Course, I don't get the draw of watching Poker either. But what used to be a fun hobby has definitely grown into a living for a few selct individuals. Far evolved form the ancient days of Starcade, where some random geeks would match up on simple arcade games, we now have official Madden Tournaments & Halo tournaments and even Arena, a competetive gaming show on G4. But surely, none of these non-athletic geeks can be like real sports athletes and get sweet sponsorship deals, right? Wrongo. Fatal1ty is generally considered the best player in the world, and is sponsored by numerous computer companies. Ubisoft sponsors the Fragdolls-and although the group reeks of corporate construct, it's a start.
And it's about to get a whole lot bigger. This holiday season USA will start airing the Major League Gaming circuit, and it will become a regular fixture on the network. Now, my initial thought was nobody will watch this, but it's at least as exciting as watching people play poker, and obviously has huge implications of making this a very legitimate thing. The best players win sizable amounts of cash (not compared to say, golf or big stakes poker, but 25-$100,000 is nothing to sneeze at regardless), cars, or kickass gaming rigs, and this has the potential to make everything bigger (if anybody is looking for a commentator, I'm happily available!). It'll be really interesting to see if this takes off. I have no doubt every serious gamer will watch this because they want it to succeed. I wonder if that will be enough, though.

Somehow I completely forgot to mention that I beat Kingdom Hearts II last week. It was a trying experience, as most of the bosses in the later half of the game are actually pretty damn orritating. But I really enjoyed my time, with Sora and the Disney gang amd will definitely go through it again and cannot wait for the third intallment. But this luckily leves me completely free to play lots of Oblivion, which is exactly what I'm doing.

The Xbox 360 gets its first MMO this week, but it's already been available to PC & PS2 owners for some time. FFXI hits this week, and it should be an interesting test. Although it does have a monthly fee like nearly every other MMO on the planet (12.99), the good news is that you don't need Xbox platinum service to play it on top of that, just the free silver service. The bad news? No in-game voice chat. You can still theoretically do voice chat while playing the game with your friends, but I don't see why if they could do it on PSO, they couldn't do it on FFXI. Sure, there are a lot more people playing, but different channels to communicate on could easily solve that (ala WOW). And MMORPGS are nearly impossible to play without a keyboard, and the 360 does not have one as of yet. It should be interesting to see how this goes, as there hasn't really been a solid console MMORPG since PSO, which has been around since the dreamcast days. Sure, Everquest & FFXI are available on the PS2, but neither has garnered much of an audience (especially since the new slim PS2s can't even use the hard drive adapter necessary to play FFXI).

And finally, I'm not usre how often I'm gonna do this, but there are a ton of fan videos of games out there. Some are well done, some aren't. So I've decided I'll start positng ones I really enjoy on a semi-regular basis, so here's the first one: A Final Fantasy IX fan vid set to "Yellow" by Coldplay. Enjoy!

HAPPY EASTER!

Ok, I am extremely tired and don't have anything much to talk about today, so just a couple quick reviews and I'll most likely post again Tuesday or Wed.

Thank You for Smoking: Brilliantly relentless mean-spirited satire. This is easily the best movie I have seen this year so far. Aaron Eckhart, who usually stars in high budget failures (The Core and Paycheck), shows great range as a lobbyist whose only interest is vigorously defending those that he represents.

Hostel: Granted, there are a few admittedly cringe-inducing torture scenes, but it can't save laughably bad & predictable twists, a painfully slow pace and an almost nonexistant plot.

And in the spirit of the holiday, this week's free game: EASTER RUSH!

The Operative speaks

Chiwetel Ejiofor, aka the ice cold assassin from Serenity has brought a little hope of a sequel for us diehard fans: "Serenity's future is indefinite at this point. The box office take was less than stellar, but continuously strong DVD sales have left the door open. "I don't know what that is or that situation... Joss is such an amazing guy, and I'd be intrigued to see where he would sort of take that and take the story and so on, and whether it would be sequels or prequels. I'm sure he could do absolutely anything. He has such an amazing understanding, scope of understanding of the world that he has created. There's that kind of Tolkien universal knowledge of every raindrop that falls. So I'm sure he could sort of take it anywhere that he wanted to." Granted, it's a small sliver of hope, but it was the continually strong sales of the show that got the movie launched in the first place, so hopefully a similar thing will happen here.

A Battlestar Galatica game? Better yet, a Battlestar Galatica RPG? I'm so there if it happens. I'll admit I was very slow to warm to this show, but it's easily the best sci-fi show on TV right now.

In the market for an MMO that isn't all about war or medieval fantasy worlds? Auto Assault may be just what you are looking for, as it focuses all around cars rather than farming gold or going on dungeon raids. No real word on if this is any good yet, but a massive version of Burnout sounds like a can't miss concept to me.


Is the PS3 too big for it's britches? Apparently so. Like everything else, it's just rumour and conjecture at this point, but there seems to be plenty of rumour and conjecture that even if the PS3 does make launch this year, it'll make the troubled 360 launch look like a huge success in comparison.

Now, as for movies this weekend, we have a couple of really pathetic offerings. I'll admit that I enjoyed Scary Movie 3, but part of its charm was up until this one, they were spoofing at least halfway decent horror movies. Now they a spoofing horrid pieces of utter crap like The Village & War of The Worlds.

But Scary Movie 4 seems like a much better alternative than Disney's latest bland animated feature, The Wild. This movie performed so poorly in early viewings that no toy stores are even going to carry any merchandise from it. And considering all the junk in the bargain bin you can find from box office failures at Toys R Us, that's saying something.

Thankfully, Thank You for Smoking is finally opening nationwide this week, so I highly suggest you go check that out.

PSP, your source for kiddie porn?

Well, technically it's just a dating sim, but a dating sim featuring 12-14 year old girls most likely to be bought by creepy old guys. I never really understood dating sims and I don't think I ever will...

Proving that even completely ruined franchises never die, Tomb Raider Legend is out on the 360, Xbox and PS2 this week. Personally, I've never been a fan of the series, who's sales were obviously bolstered by many horny lonely nerds (if you dubt that, just try and search for nude pics of Lara Croft on the internet, not hard to find to this day). And even though this new one has been getting fairly solid reviews so far, I'll probably give it a rent in a few weeks when I have nothing better to do.

I'm actually far more interested in Brain Age for the Nintendo DS. Not really a game or one of those lame "edutainment" titles, this is suppossed to actually make you smarter through various exercises. Sounds like late night infomercial crap, but it's huge in Japan and probably not a bad $20 investment.

Burger King makes video games? Not only that, but they are suing Kotaku for breaking the news before it was announced. Why? My guess is not too many 360 owners are going to be lining up to buy games that are roughly the same price as a combo meal. This is getting dangerously reminscent of right before the great crash of the 80s, where everybody was trying to get into the games market, including food compaines that had no fucking clue how to make a game....

And finally, if you ever wanted to know what it's like to be a supervillain, now seems like the best time. MMORPG.com is offering a free 14 day trial of City of Villains for all registered users (registration is completely free). I'm considering getting in on it, but I'm nonestly far too invested in Oblvion & Kingdom Hearts II to be much interested in anything else at the moment.

YES

Easily my favorite show that never got its due, The Adventures of Brisco County, only lasted one glorious season, but thankfully I can relive that season as many times as I like now that it's finally coming to DVD. The $100 price tag gives me pause though, I'll probably wait until I can find a good deal on it through ebay or something before I pick it up.

Still nostalgic about all those great (and no so great) 90s TV shows? Retrojunk has most of the most popular intros so you can relive some of the nostalgia and not actually remember how bad most of those shows were (I still can't belive that I used to love Perfect Strangers...)

Ocean's 13 is on it's way, and while their isn't an official trailer yet, they probably could do well to copy what this guy thinks it should be like. The impressions are pretty damn uncanny.

And just as it seems Microsoft is finally getting their act together and getting 360s into stores on a regular basis, wacky legal issues threaten to cut them off at the knees. Granted, nothing will probably come of this, but if it actually succeeded and 360s did get pulled, I'd imagine Microsoft would effectively be done with consoles for at least this generation as they couldn't possibly regain the ground lost from such a blow.

All that's really left is the FREE GAME IF THE WEEK: Rambo BROS.!

Josh Hartnett's Lucky Number?

I know, it's supposed to be a clever play on words. In fact, Lucky Number Slevin seems to just scream "look how clever I am!". And movies like that tend to be far too clever for their own good. Although it boasts great star such as Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis, the focus is on Hartnett, who is only slightly above Paul Walker in acting ability.

Though it seems the best option out of another weekend of weak releases. Can we please make it illegal for anybody to make anymore "teacher inspires poor kids" movies for about 20 years or so? Because we have yet another one with Take the Lead, which uses dancing instead of basketball or chess or poetry or 5 billion other tired devices.

The other two films Benchwarmers & Phat Girls, weren't even screened for critics, which is probably for the best as I wouldn't even want to think who would actually give those films a good review and not hang themselves.

So, Oblivion's first official mod came out this past week, it's shiny new horse armor! And it actually costs money. Sure $2.50(1.99 if you have it for PC) seems like a trifle amount of money, but if this succeeds, it will probably lead to many more things like it that will slowly nickel & dime you til your broke if you want to play your game to the fullest. They are already talking about their next download, which will be a nifty new tower for you to explore. Sounds like a real bargain....

Nathan Fillion: The Next Bruce Campbell?

After seeing Slither this weekend (which wasn't quite up there with comedy horror greats like Tremors or Bubba Ho-Tep, but a solid film for those who like the genre), I'm pretty convinced that Nathan Fillion should have a long and healthy career in entertaining B-films. He's already got White Noise 2 on his plate, and seems perfect for the Evil Dead remake that Sam Raimi is planning on doing.

Expanding a little more on Kingdom Hearts 2-There are some minor quibbles I have (so you can put in Mulan & Pirates of the Carribean, but no Robin Hood, Black Cauldron, or Emperor's New Groove?), but anybody who liked the original, Final Fatnasy and/or Disney should pick this up immediately. It's also an excellent argument against going next gen anytime soon if AAA titles like this at least periodically come out of the pipeline.


And finally, although it seems like they've been talking about it forever, a Simpsons movie is actually finally coming to us next year. 10 years ago, I would've been estatic about this, but the Simpsons have been getting substantially worse the last seven or so years, and now I think this is just a horrible idea. To be sure, the kids with no taste that watch the show now will eat it up, but us fans who have been there since the beginning no longer recognize this monstrosity the show has become in its later years. I still hold out a little hope that because it;s tken so long to get to the silver screen that it might actually be worth the wait, but I'm not holding my breath.

That's it for todat,. FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Arcane Castle

A disgustingly good time?

Horror movies have never really been to scary for me. For whatever reason, even highly respected ones such as The Exorcist always seem not only unscary, but horribly acted with stupid plot twists that make no sense. Yet I've pretty much always enjoyed horror films that don't take themselves too seriously, especially ones like Tremors, Which is why I'm pretty excited to go see Slither tommorow, as it looks like fun and the reviews are overwhelmingly solid.

But I wish it was the best option out of a good crop, rather than the only postive-looking one this whole weekend. Sharon Stone still looks pretty damn hot for being in her late-40s, but will anyone actually bother to see Basic Instinct 2? I mean, just from the trailers alone, it looks like one of the worst movies ever.

And then there's Ice Age 2, a bland sequel to a bland original. For whatever reason, Only Pixar & Dreamworks seem to have the magic touch to be able to create entertaining animated films these days, and even they are hit and miss.

Moving on I did pick up Kingdom Hearts II, and so far, it's pretty damn awesome. The combat and Gummi Ship sections are the biggest improvements. But admittedly, the camera, while improved, still is pretty bad, and the voice acting is very uneven (not on the Disney characters, but most of the Final Fantasy and original characters aren't very well acted). I haven't even touched Oblivion since I started it, that should tell you how good it is.

It's great to be wrong sometimes

Well thankfully, my hunch that Larry the Cable Guy's new film would be a suprise hit was way off, as it didn't even make it into the top 5 this weekend. I guess the apocalypse is a little further off than we all thought.

Ok, so with Tetris and Hunters, you could say the Nintendo DS wifi have something for everyone now with puzzle, shooting, racing, sports, and whatever the hell category Animal Crossing fits into. The problem? Nintendo's still half-assing it. There are plenty of other DS titles that should take advantage of wifi-Advance Wars, Worms & Bomberman just to name a few. If they really want this to work, they need every possible title to take advantage of it. It would at least guarauntee a few more sales on lower profile titles.

So in the past month I've probably checked out a couple hundred Kingdom Hearts II fan vids, and in my opinion this is the best one, should get you even more pumped for the release this week.

That's really it for today. FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: DON'T SHOOT THE PUPPY!!!

Larry the Cable Guy: The next Jim Carrey?

Think about it. a somehwhat underground but extremely popular comic who people either love or loathe releases a low budget low brow comedy that isn't expected to go anywhere. But it becomes a hit. A big one, and the comedian's career takes off big time. It happened with Ace Ventura, and it could happen with Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector. Now, I honestly don't think this guy is anywhere near Carrey in terms of talent, but he does have an army of redneck fans that will most likely make his feature debut a suprise smash hit this weekend, which could easily be the launching pad for a huge career.

But really, none of this weekend's offerings look that enticing. Stay Alive is just The Ring with a video game instead of a tape (and it's PG13, the only good horror film ever made that wasn't rated R was Poltergeist). Inside Man is another mystery twister that'll just throw in one convulted suprise after another til nothing makes sense anymore.

With all the hoopla surrounding Oblivion and Kingdom Hearts II, one deserving rpg may be left out in the cold. Suikoden V was released this week, and while I was very cautious of it after the last mediocre entry in the series, so far all the reviews point to this being a very solid turnaround. If I ever get bored with Oblivion and KHII, that would probably be my next rpg of choice.

And finally I'll go a little more in-depth with what I think of Oblivion. I love that you can simply fast travel to most major cities and any landmarks you have previously traveled, that's a HUGE improvement from the original. The combat, though still fairly simple, has also gotten a great overhaul with the add of a block and power attack option. The graphics are pretty impressive, but since my PC just barely meets the minimum requirements, I probably can't do them much justice.
Now for the bad: I love a good narrative. A good narrative can get you through a fairly mediocre game, and it can make you come back to a great game time & time again. Morrowind was lacking this in spades and Oblivion is as well. It's to be somewhat expected given the open-ended nature of the game, but there's a reason I've spent little to no time on the main quest-I just don't feel driven to finish it anytime soon.
But probably the biggest dissapointment is the complete BS job Bethesda has pulled on us with "Radiant A.I.". They claimed this would make NPCs live their own life and react individually with unpredictable behavior. But everybody has patterns and follows a specific script, even repeating annoying phrases and actions over and over again.
But these are honestly pretty minor things. This is easily what I'd say is the first must buy title of 2006 and an easy early contender for game of the year.

Ok, that's it for now. I will be back on Sunday for sure.

A proper send off

So just how did Matt Stone & Trey Parker deal with the Chef situation? The only way they know how. And apparently, Hayes decision to quit may not have been entirely of hs own volition. In a way, this proves how much of a legitmate religion Scientology is, because none of them can take a fucking joke anyways.

The Game Developers Conference happened this week, and while at first it was fairly dull, plenty of interesting tidbits have been leaked. Previews for A new Zelda for the DS and God of War II were shown. Sony announced that they have dropped the much ridiculed boomerang controllers they showed at last year's E3. And Nintendo announced that over 1,000 Genesis games as well as some TurboGrafx-16 titles will be downloadable along with titles from all of Nintendo's past systems. While on the surface that sounds cool, I can honestly barely remember 100 really worthwhile Genesis titles, and the only worthwhile thing on the TG-16 was Bonk's Adventure...

The 360's camera and specs have been announced. I honestly think it's a horrible idea, however...

And finally, I have pretty much spent every waking hour of the last couple of days playing Oblivion. It is an excellent game that improves on the original in every possible way. It almost makes me not pleased that Kingdom Hearts II is out next week since I'll have to divide my free time between the two.


That's really all for today, but I'll definitely be back tommorow with thoughts on this weekend's movies and probably a couple other things.

An offer they can't afford

This coming week is a pretty huge one gamewise. Not only are two major wifi titles for the DS being released in the long-awaited Metroid Prime: Hunters and Tetris; Oblivion is finally out for the PC & 360 as well. But the biggest release is arguably EA's long-delayed The Godfather is out in stores as well. Now, it's development costs were on the high end, but it may very well be the most costly game in recent history as it's not being released in time for the holiday season cost the company Over $800 MILLION. I'd just like to take this opportunity to say HA!!! Seriously, for that much money you could've easily made several hundred decent selling original properties and made a tidy profit (or at worst a marginal loss). Instead, you pooled all your expectactions onto an old license and it kicked you in the ass. EA getting kicked in the ass this hard is good for the industry, let's hope they learn a little something from it.

Better hold onto that copy of Katamari Damacy, it may be the last one for awhile, or ever. Can't say I blame the guy, not sure what more you could do with the title except possibly add online play, which given the craptacular quality of multiplayer in the last game, may not be such a good idea anyways.

Wanna see a really cool concert? Check out this vid of The Mario & Zelda Big Band. It's classic Mario & Zelda tunes played in a variety of musical styles. Why can't we get this stuff over here?

I did see V for Vendetta earlier today, and I'd say it mostly lived up to the hype, with really great performances, spectacular action, and just the fact that it's a lot different from your average lone guy against an oppresive authority movie. V is a terroist, he uses extreme means that your normal do-gooder wouldn't resort to, but hey, maybe that's why he gets results and other heroes usually end up facing the same villains over and over again...

And finally, here it is, the free game of the week: BUMs: Back to School.

R for Redemption

Although it was certainly a financial success in the strictest sense, in any other aspect, the Matrix trilogy as a whole is arguably one of the biggest fuckups in cinema history. I mean, really, how can you make something as genre-defining as the original movie yet fuck up the sequels so poorly? I'll admit I really enjoyed the action in the second film, but things I was willing to accept would be explained in the third chapter never were, and it was easily the biggest letdown of a franchise conclusion I can remember. So with that in mind, the Wachowski's newest film, V for Vendetta, opens this weekend. Granted, the long delay after it was suppossed to happen last summmer was troubling (sure, they say it was due to the terrorist attacks in London, but seemed like an awfully convienent excuse...), but the early reviews are overwhelming positive, so I'm very hyped to see it on Sunday.

I would also love to check out Thank You for Smoking, as it's reportedly a great riff on the tobacco industry as well as Hollywood, but it's not playing at my local theatre, so I'll just have to wait for video. Although I doubt anything can top this advertising campaign....

Vin Diesel's attempt at doing something seriously dramatic, Find Me Guilty, also opens this week. But given that the only guy lower on the quality acting totem pole in movies is Paul Walker, and the fact that it has barely had any press makes me think I'll wait two months and check it out on video if I have nothing else to do.

Ok, Some Like it Hot was released nearly 50 years ago. It's the original cross-dressing comedy, and nothing has come close to topping it. Something tells me Amanda Bynes new comedy She's The Man won't give it a run for its money in any way, shape, or form. I know Bynes has a legion of tween fans that will at least rent this movie in huge numbers when it hits video, but can we try something a little bit different than lame cross-dressing or quirky high-school romance for this crowd? These are the same people that grow up and make films like Failure to Launch a hit.

Finally, the FCC is back at handing out masssive fines for ludicrous bullshit again, so in honor of that, here's a clip of Family Guy mocking the hell out of them.

Objects in mirror are more expensive than they appear

I'll probably update again later today for this week's latest movies, but thought I'd just give a few quick thoughts on several things I didn't mention yesterday.

Sony has dropped the PSP to $199, But is it actually a better deal? They take out the basic memory stick and soft case that comes with the standard $250 bundle
. So, add in a basic memory stick and a brand new game and you still got a system that's nearly $300.

Isaac Hayes has quit South ParkWhy? Because they dared to mock Scientology. It's good to know Mr. Hayes is comfortable being such a total hypocrit. South Park does nothing but relentlessly mock everything, and Hayes was obviously ok with it until they picked on his particular creed. I am pretty much just amazed that Hayes can say this with a straight face. If you want to check out the episode (which Tom Cruise also sued over), click here

Final Fantasy XII is finally out in Japan. It's good to know that it's actually seen the light of day somewhere, I was beginning to think it would never see the light of day. At least, not in its current form. Gives me good hope that it won't be too long until we see it stateside (although probably not til the fall at any rate).

Well, obviously, Jack Thompson just won't be stopped until he's a complete laughing stock: Thompson has now bullied Wikipedia into locking his entry and given vague threats to the editor of Game Politics (scroll down a bit to March 13th for the article). Now admittedly, wikipedia isn't the most reliable source on the web, as anyone can say anything they want about somebody, theoretically, but this is just getting way too silly. You'd think with all my mentions I would've gotten some sort of legal threat by now, I could sure as hell use the publicity....

The Greatest sitcom that never was

It does seem like these days just about any half-baked idea can show up on your TV. But the truth is, there are hundreds if not thousands of TV pilots that never see the light of day. The reasons can be anything from a salary dispute to real bad screen testing. But how network executives could pass up the gauraunteed comedy gold that would come from the combination of Adam West and Andy Richter is beyond anyone's guess. The pilot has been going around in various circles for years, and thanks to youtube, you can now watch Lookwell, generally considered one of the greatest pilots ever, and yet it was never picked up.

MC Hammer has a blog. Am I the only one that finds that strange?

Sony finally admitted that we won't see the PS3 til at least November. Possibly the least suprising news of the century. But the other news was certainly interesting to say the least. Sony confirmed that the PS3 will be backwards compatible with all PS2 & PS1 titles, will come with a 60-gig hardrive, and will have a free online network that from description, rivals xbox-live (though no confirmation or whether their will be a pay level of service or not). But no details on price or any mention of games. I guess we will have to wait until E3 to see what they have really got up their sleeve.

Easily the best news I have heard all year: Beyond Good & Evil 2 is under development. The original is a true underrated classic that deserves continuation.

And finally, Miyamoto has confirmed that although the next Zelda game is for the Gamecube, it will also be able to use the Revolution controller. Course knowing our luck, this'll be only for some secret fishing minigame....

Donald Duck has a dirty, dirty mouth

At least in Japanese. I admit, I'm getting a little stir crazy waiting for Kingdom Hearts II to get here, were I slightly less stable, I may take a note out of Ethan's book and storm the SquareEnix US offices in order to secure myself a copy a little bit early.

So, the Oscars didn't actually suck last week (although Crash for best picture was a complete crock), and a large part of that was due to John Stewart, you can check out his best moments here.

Ever since going cold turkey on World of Warcraft a couple of months ago, I've been pretty anxious to also jump back into the mmo world, but only for something that offers a really different experience. I actually nearly picked up City of Heroes today. The new Dungeons and Dragons MMO looks really enticing, and instantly adresses one of my major issues with WOW. making travel a quick and painless thing rather than really long and tedious. On the other hand, it's completely dependent on getting a good cooperative group of people together for an instance, which can be incredibly hard in an MMO. Either way, I've decided to wait til my plate is a little less full, as I'm not quite done with Granda III, Oblivion is only 9 days away, and Kingdom Hearts II is only a week after that. But APril on looks pretty slim for games in general, so that may be time to start diving back in.

And finally, this coming week, Sony is apparently going to make a "BIG" announcement concenring the PS3. I'm sure the Sony faithful are waiting for them to announce that they are indeed launching in Spring and will crush all opposers (which given the 360s are stil pretty hard to find, and the Revolution is still months away, would be easy). Of course the big announcement could also be absolutely nothing, which is pretty much what I'm betting on (something along the lines of they are announcing that they will soon annoucne details of the PS3 launch and price, probably at E3). Regardless, they are still pretty much in the driver's seat. Nintendo is a nonfactor til we see something concrete, and the 360 launch has pretty much been a disaster at best. Sure, demand is ridiculously high, but that doesn't matter if no one can find any; and it's only in high demand here. Overseas they can't give it away. Regardless, it'll be interesting to see if Sony actually finally shows their hand in a few days.

And don't think I forgot about the FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Armor Heroes

Good for what ails ya...

So this weeknd we have three major releases, two which are crappy remakes that nobody asked for, and a comedy that everyone swaers is a remake of just about every other formulaic romantic comedy out there.

Seriously, why would anybody even want to remake The Shaggy Dog? The original was awful. Disney actually has a large number of classic hits they could remake, this isn't one of them. Plus, Tim Allen as the dog is fairly reminiscent of the nightmarish Mike Myers as The Cat in the Hat. And there should be a moratorium on playing "Who let the dogs out" for at least 50 years.

Then there's The Hills Have Eyes, which had some value as a chessy B-movie and a commentary on nuclear testing during it's day, but now only exists as a crappy quick cash-in remake much like the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre a few years ago.

And finally, we have Failure to Launch, about a slacker who still lives with his parents event though he is in his nid-30s, apparently a growing trend these days. That may be so, but it still seems like every other comedy about unlikely couples made in the last 15 years.

Honestly, just thinking about going to see any of those terrible movies is making me ill. How about a potion?








Yup, in order to promote the release of Final Fantasy XII in Japan (which should be out there next week, lucky bastards), Squarenix is releasing an energy drink called "Final Fantasy XII Potion". No word on if the energy drink's "mythical" blend, which includes several herbs such as chamomile, rosemary and elder flower, actually does anything, but reportedly only 3 million are being made, so expect these suckers to be fetching high prices on Ebay real soon. Check out the ad as well, very weird but cool.

John Stewart can't make eveything funny...

I just got back from seeing 16 Blocks, and I thought it was a very solid and fun action thriller, a much needed rebound for Willis from last year's atrocious Hostage.

And I gave in and bought Grandia III yesterday. I'm about 7 hours in so it's obviously an involving game. The battle system is still excellent, arguably the best in all of rpgdom, though it's not nearly as easy to cancel or counter attacks as it has been in previous games. My only real complaint is that the characters (aside from the main protagonist's mother, who is easily the coolest videogame mom ever) are pretty much stock j-rpg with fairly mediocre voice acting and dialgogue, not making the story too great overall. It's good filler, but still filler.

Got about 35 minutes to kill? Check out this amazing footage of Will Wright's next masterpiece, Spore,this will either be the biggest game of all time, or the biggest flop of all time, should be fascinationg either way.

Finally, tonight is the Emmy awards with host John Stewart. I've paid loose attention to the nominees, but I'll only be watching tonight because nothing else is on, and as Johnny Carson once said, it's 2 hours of entertainment stretched into a four hour show, and he was being very generous about it even being 2 hours of actual entertainment. When the academy starts considering animated films as good as real films and gives comedic performances, which are so much more difficult than dramatic ones, their due, I'll actually consider them worthwhile.

And I didn't forget about the FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Aliens from Planet Dave-An amusing choose-your-own-adventure style game.

No way I'm walking that far....

Bruce Willis is back with Richard Donner for his latest film, 16 Blocks. Granted, it's been a little while since Willis has pulled off a really solid film, but with Mos Def and David Morris starring along with Donnner's usual knack for solid big action flicks that Michael Bay only wishes he do could half as well is should be at least a fun way to kill and hour and 40 minutes.

On the other hand Ultraviolet, this week's other big action film is possibly the most generic-looking futuristic thriller I have ever seen. It literally looks like they took Aeon Flux, the Matrix, and Kill Bill and just threw them into some sort of blender in order to make the blandest film possible. Milla Jovovich's careerr was actually of to a fairly promising start when she first got into films, but with her lastest releases being such pure garbage(i.e. Resident Evil: Apocalypse), she should probably just go back to modeling.

There's a reason nobody's done a live-action mermaid fild since Splash, and yet over 20 years later, here we are with Aquamarine (out this weekend), which is about a mermaid who comes to shore in order to find love. Really, the only difference is that it's set in high school, they might as well have gotten Tom Hanks and Darryl Hannah's kids to do the film as a joke to admit how much they are directly rippping off here.

But the most well-recieved film opening this weekend is Dave Chapelle's Block Party, a concert film that is essentially a huge party thrown by Dave Chapelle, a few friends and a tom of hip-hop artists. But at it's core, it's still a concert film. Not something I would actually pay to see, but maybe if I can check ot out for free I'll give a shot somewhere dow the line.

So, apparently Microsoft's suppossed new portable console isn't actually a console at all, just another tablet PC currently known as "Origami". Not a huge suprise, but sort of dissapointing tho get all hyped-up about it only to learn the next day that the product is nothing like what you were hoping for. Odds are that MS will give the handheld market a shot sooner or later, but this isn't it.

Well, I've been talking about either picking up Grandia III or Shadow Hearts: Dark Covenant, but since Elder Scrolls: Oblivion has finally gotten a solid release date of March 21st, I'll probably just hold off and wait to pick that up. I can wait a little over two more weeks. I hope.

Finally a really interesting tidbit was released fron THQ about their latest game, which is based on the upcoming Pixar film, Cars. Most could care less about the alsmot certain to be crappy movies based on the game, but the interesting bit is that it is for the Nintendo revolution and expected to be out in Novemeber, so odds are Nintendo's next console should be out by then.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."

With the release of 24: The Game out this week and 2 full hours of 24 next monday, it's a good time for Jack Bauer fans. All I will say about this season so far is that it has had some high points and low points. Not the pure adrenalin rush season 4 was, but with all hell about to break loose, the season should really pick up. How is the game? Probably a tad underwhelming since all I've seen so far is mildly decent magazine scores and no early website reviews as of yet (meaning 2K games may not have wanted word to get out before the game was actually out).

But also finally out this week is EA's Black, which their PR department has come up with the term "gun porn" to describe it. Several reviews mention the coolness of the levels of destruction, and apparently, somebody figured out that a shotgun is the ultimate key, since you can use that to open locked doors. The reviews have been solid, but it's a universal agreeement that the game is too short and could've been so much more (i.e. no multi-player).

Finally got through Tales of Legendia's character quests today. It was a somewhat exhausting but fun 50+ hours overall. Still have about a month til Kingdom Hearts II hits, so I'll need something to keep me busy, and although I haven't been that impressed by previews, both Grandia III & Shadow Hearts: The New World seem like good filler. I'll probably also try to go through the original Kingdom Hearts for the umpteenth time, but that shoudln't take more than a week.

A little while ago, I mentioned Microsoft may be making a portable console, and apparently it's more of a reality and coming sooner than anyone would've guessed. An official annoucnement is suppsoedly coming out this week, but reportedly the system is essentially a portable Xbox that you can also play music and watch movies on. There is a heavy rumor circulating that MS is launching their own music system to compete with Apple, I'd be willing to bet this new portable launches with the service. Here's a supposed ad for the system. Halo 2 on the go does sound pretty friggin sweet.

Moving on from games, plenty of great stuff out on DVD this week, namely Walk the Line, which was a pretty superb movie in my humble opinion, worthy of every nomination it got. But I'm much more excited about Newsradio: Season 3. The late great Phil Hartman, Dave Foley, and Andy Dick are just an unbeatable comedic trio. You're doing yourself a disservice if you don't pick up all 3 seasons currently out and the 4th when it comes out.

Want to direct a movie commercial? Well Universal Pictures is giving amatuers a shot at the big time by holding a contest for their upcoming release Slither. The movie already looks like plenty of fun, should be interesting to see what comes out of this.

Dead or Alive stills have been posted, I can smell the oscar already:





















And finally, thank god the olympics are over, now I can get back to Scrubs, which is actually on right now. Until next time...

Procrastination is teh ghey

I was really hoping something interesting would break this week, but it hasn't. A crappy movie with Paul Walker (Running Scared) is all that's even been screened for critics this week, and not suprisingly, it's getting enough bad reviews that hopefully it's the bullet that kills Paul Walker's career (but odds are it won't).

And the only newsworthy item is something that I somehow forgot to mention last week: Seems that UMD movie sales for the PSP are majorly sucking ass. Apparently, people don't want to pay for the same movie more than once (ok, except for diehard fans of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Evil Dead, but they're nuts). What is Sony's solution? Sell you a fucking TV adapter. BRILLIANT! Now I can pay for a stripped-down UMD version of a film what I would pay for a normal DVD version, but also buy a pricey adapter so I can play it on my TV!

Ok, that's it for today, but to make up for my lack of posting, how about 101 FREE GAMES! That's right, the 101 best free computer games as chosen by Computer Gaming World. Should be at least a few decent ones in there, right?????

What's that? YOU STILL HAVEN'T SEEN SERENITY?

Well now you have no excuse, cause youtube has it for free, no strings attached, you just stream it. Certainly a better option than the tripe in theaters this weekend. I suffered through Date Movie earlier today, and it was a total mess. Not one good thing I can say about it. Eight Below is a movie with Paul Walker who is playing second fiddle to a dog sled team (just look at the wonders the did for Cuba Gooding JR.'s career...) regardless of how many positive reviews it gets. And Freedomland is another movie that obviously can't decide what it wants to be (is it a mystery, a horror movie, or statement on bad race relations? Oh wait, it's a horrid combination of all 3).

One game I forgot to talk about last time that came out this week was Mark Ecko's Getting Up : Contents Under Pressure-This has raised a big stir because it basically endorses graffiti, but Sega beat them to the punch on that years ago with Jet Set Radio. I'm not too interested in some flash in the pan clothes designer's idea of a game.

And before I go, here's your FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: No Action Jackson-Classic Sierra-style adventure.

Jack Thompson has a new ally in his fight against Rockstar...

Just who? HOOKERS! That's right, hookers are stepping up and protesting Grand Theft Auto for it's "encouragement" of violence against hookers. It's a proud day in the Thompson household....

Even better news: Uwe Boll has threatened to stop making movies! I love how he basically takes swipes at Doom which wasn't a huge hit but grossed more money in it's opening weekend than all his films combined, and how he thinks the way he makes movies is a good thing and we should be grateful they are getting made at all. Yeah, everyone was just waiting for a fucking Postal movie.....

I'm almost done with the main game of Tales of Legendia, but there are also personal quests for each of the characters after the end, so hopefully that'll keep me busy a little bit longer. Which means I'll most likely be picking up either Grandia III or Shadow Hearts: FTNW soon, need something to keep me busy till Kingdom Hearts 2.

Sony's online strategy has finally been revealed. Sounds like they are basically copying MS' setup, which certainly isn't a bad plan, but you're gonna want to be able to offer something different if you want converts or people to choose you over the competition, plus they don't have nearly the experinece MS has, I'm sure the first year or so of this service will be pretty bumbpy, just like it was for MS.

Ever wonder what Sci-Fi crew you would be the best fit for? Take this fun little quiz. I got the crew of DS9, which is fine by me as it was easily my favorite Trek show.

In all honesty, it's a good thing that Xbox 360s are still ridiculously scarce right now, because with Full Auto finally out, I'd be heavily tempted to go out and buy one. Something about the blending of Twisted Metal and Burnout along with online play just really appeals to me even though I'm not into cars at all.

And that's really about it for today, but I'll definitely be back tomorrow or Friday.

Demo Disc Day

Ok as I said I was going to do, I played through the PSM demo disc (although after some thought, this probably won't be a regular thing, there's a good reason I rarely buy these types of mags-the extra content rarely justifies the price). I didn't check out every single demo, but here's some observations on what I did try out:

Shadowhearts: The New World-Oh dear god what have they done to my beloved underground franchise? The classic ring-based battle system is still there, but half the reason the first two games were so good were the great characters that weren't your usual bratty underage youths and great dialogue and voice acting. This demo shows the hero, a 16-year old bratty rich kid who fancies himself a detective, and his Lurch-like bodyguard, both with laughably awful voices and dialogue. I might give a rent, but at this point no way I'm purchasing Shadow Hearts unless I hear of a drastic voice overhaul.

Sonic Riders: If I had any doubt left that Sonic needs to either be drastically revamped or killed off completely, this "extreme" title is it. Not only are the controls horrible, but does anybody give a rat's ass that anybody other than Sonic is even in this game? Time to go back to the drawing board guys.

Teen Titans: I like the show, so I had an outside hope that this would be different from the other licensed crap out there. It shows some potential, but it's choppy and why the hell can't I turn into a T-rex (or several other animals) as Beast Boy? In fact, all the characters abilities seem to be rather limited, which is just lazy on the developers'part.

State of Emergency 2: You know, the first game was a fucking pile of shit, and admittedly, this seems a slight step up from that, but only slightly. It's still the same redundant crap, except no there seems to be no lame escort missions.

Drakengard 2: I wasn't too impressed by the first title, and the 2nd one isn't much of an improvement quite frankly. It's trying to be Panzer Dragoon, but it's just not nearly as good, and realyl, if you can't at least match that level of excellence why bother?

Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams: I love how they said that the last Onimusha game was actually going to be the last one, yet here we are less than 2 years later with another game on the same platform. And it still plays like crap.

And there wasn't a playable demo, but a video of the making of Grandia III that was none too reassuring either. I was seriously excited about this game until I heard the developers trying to explain their concept. Luckily the reviews have been really solid, so it'll probably be the perfect thing to pick up right after I'm done with Tales of Legendia and will hopefully keep me busy until Kingdom Hearts II is out.

Ok, that's all for today. FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Alien Hominid-A classic shooter

Arresting Finale

Hoped you watched the last 2 hours of Arrested Development tonight, may be a while before you see any more, assuming they finalize a deal with ABC or Showtime (for the record, Showtime sounds like a better deal, less episodes, but more years and don't have to worry about ratings, though they should keep bleeping swear words, it's funnier that way.)

I saw Final Destination 3 today, seemed like the only semi-noteworthy flick opening this weekend. Pink Panther smells desperate as hell (and I wasn't a big fan of the original). I was initially excited about Firewall, but i realized not only has Harrison Ford done this quite a few times before, this is essentially the same as Hostage, which was also extremely crappy. And Curious George seems fine for the kids, but I'll at least pass til video. Anyways, FD 3 was exactly what you expected it to be-Gruesome, campy, and a lot of fun. First enjoyable horror film I've seen in quite awhile.

Start the countdown, the official Kingdom Hearts 2 website is up. This is easily my most anticipated game of the last few years, my copy is all paid for and I can't wait to start kicking some Heartless ass all over the Magic Kingdom.

Finally, I'm about 11 hours in on Tales of Legendia, and it's pretty fun. It's not much of a change from previous titles in the series (and actually a step back since it loses the psuedo-3D fighting from Tales of Symphonia). The real key is the great humor, lot's of very funny dialogue and interesting characters along with a damn evil and worthy main villain. Highly reccomended for any action rpg fans.

Taht's it for today, but worry not, I'll be back Sunday with some impressions on the latest PSM demo disc (which may become a regular thing) and the game of the week along with probably a couple other observations. In the mean time, get hyped for Disgaea 2 by checking out the trailer.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port, aboard this not so tiny ship.

In lieu of seeing Good Night & Good luck this weekend, I decided to concentrate on Dragon Quest VIII, which paid off since I beat it Monday night. The boss was pretty easy and the end was kind of predicatble and lame, but it was overall a satisfying 75 hours and 24 minutes I spent. And since Tales of Legendia has been getting mostly pretty solid reviews, I picked it up, I'll let you know my early impressions in the next post. The story takes place upon a giant continent that is in reality, a ship, hence today's header.

Probably the best news of the last month: Uwe Boll is definitely not going to be directing the Metal Gear Solid movie. Straight from Kojima's mouth:

"Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

Now, I've always found the storylines in the MGS games to be really bizarre and nonsensical, but at least with Boll definitely having no hand in the project, it won't be complete gutter trash with shit production values like all of his films are.

Finally, Kingdom Hearts II has a solid release date of March 28th, but more awesome is the mostly stellar cast. Some great heavy hitters like Christopher Lee and James Woods, but seriously, Jesse McCartney as one of the lead characters? That's almost as bad as having Lance Bass as Sepiroth.

I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number...

Is probably the first thing I'd say When a Stranger Calls, the only film even opening this weekend that was obviously so bad it was not screened for critics.

Not really much else going on this week (apparently, Superbowl sunday has killed off all other happenings), but I did watch Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-rabbit, and it was excellent, very clever and funny. And thankfully, Good Night and Good Luck is finally opening this weekend at my local theatre, so I'll probably check that out tommorow.

I'm nearly at the end of Dragon Quest VIII, which will be just in time for Tales of Legendia , from the same team that made the spectacular Tales of Symphonia. Then, only a week later, Grandia III hits the shelves. My PS2 is going to be very busy this month (and most likely next month as well, assuming a couple key releases stay on schedule).

And of course-FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Zef's Underwater Adventure

Congratulations, it's an Xboy!

Is Microsoft coming out with their own portable? Just maybe, according to IGN. It's probably inevitable, as just about everybody has at least once tried the handheld market. Whether or not it will be a huge flop is anybody's guess, although my bet is if they can put Xbox live on it, it will be awesome.

I realized last week I talked about Love Monkey, but haven't really given my thoughts now that two episodes have aired. I really like it. It's got great music, and is one of the better "dramadies" to come along in awhile, there's certianly nothing else good at 10 pm on Tuesdays.

Season 2 of Firefly?-You can help make it happen, just click on the link and fill out the survey. I think the show continuing in any form is a great idea, and if it takes off, could lead to a whole new choice for shows not wanting to deal with the pain of being on a network.

Bubble, the first movie ever to be released on DVD roughly the same time its in theatres (should be out on DVD Tuesday) is out this weekend, but apparently a large number of theatre chains refuse to carry it cause they feel this kind of idea will hurt their already shrinking bottom line (you know, instead of trying things like quality releases and lowering prices so you don't have to take out a mortgage if you want soda and popcorn...) I don't have high hopes for this, but it'll be interesting to see if it succeeds.

I am sure glad The Matador is playing at my cineplex this weekend, the other choices just seem ridiculously dismal.

First, there's Big Momma's House 2-Which just seems to further justify that Martin Lawrence shouldn't even have a career. Seriously, when the last entertaining thing you pulled off was Bad Boy (and your co-star has managed quite a few hits since then) over a decade ago, you either need to reinvent yourself or just quit. I used to cinsider him the poor man's Eddie Murphy back in his early years, now he's more like the poor man's Tim Meadows.

Then there's Annapolis, which just looks like an awful remake of Officer and a gentleman, and also has an inspitring %6 rating at rottentomatoes.

And Nanny Mcphee, which looks perfectly all right for the kids, but seems to hold no adult appeal whatsoever.

And finally, FREE GAME OF THE WEEK: Duckhunt 1945-A fun (but challenging) little mix of Duckhunt and Call of Duty!

Mergers, mergers everywhere!

Well, it wasn't too unexpected, but Disney now owns Pixar. Which is awesome, especially with Eisner out of the way, this will hopefully mean that all the upcoming sequels to Pixar's previous efforts won't suck.

But the big suprise is the sudden merger of WB and the UPN, apparently broadcast TV ain't big enough for two godawful networks. The new channel, CW will debut in the fall, the obvious hits will stay-Which means Everybody Hates Chris, Veronica Mars and Smackdown will stick around, so I'm satisfied. but seriously, the general lineup of both channels is horrendous, I don't think a merger will help all that much.

Did you know Rick Moranis has a website? Did you know Rick Moranis was even alive? Better yet, did you know Rick Moranis recently released a Country Album? You can get it either via itunes or his website. It's just very odd that after so many years of obscurity this is how he tries to make a comeback. It is also suppossedly out in actual stores Febuary 7th.

Think Xbox live is successful with a little over 1 million users? Nintendo has 3 million using their wifi service for the DS, even though it's only been active since November and currently only has 3 titles (Mario Kart, Tony Hawk and Animal Crossing). Hopefully Nintendo realizes the way to keep this up is to realize a good variety of compatible titles. They seemed to have missed the boat on obvious ones like bomberman, let's hope upcoming titles like Worms and the rumored DS version of FF Chronicles really take advantage of it.

And finally the 100th Episode of Scrubs is on tonight. The 100th episode is landmark because it essentially means that you were at least for some time a succesful series, and for shows that seem to struggle to stay on the air like Scrubs despite their brilliance, it means that much more that they made it to this landmark, Here's hoping there's plenty more great episodes on the way....

Truly Sucktackular

Pretty accurately describing the only new big release out this weekend, Underworld: Evolution. I mean, c'mon, the original was not only a box office flop, but one of the worst pieces of trash I've seen in the last few years. Plus, they essentially stole the plot from Blade: Trinity and threw in werewolves. Real original. Brokeback Mountain is finally opening in town this week, so I'll probably catch that if I'm up for it.

Seems Sony is finally getting at least a little interested in a universal online system as they are taking polls to see what the actual interest is. Thing is, MS has way too big of a head start in this area. They have plenty of experience and time to fix out most bugs, it'll take Sony years to get to this point, so they may as well hold off til the next generation and introduce smething really spectacular.

Finally, I am really getting into Mario Kart Wifi matches, playing several a week, but it seems at least the Japanese gamers have found a really cheap little glitch on the rainbow road track-this is a track you can fall off, which obviouly puts you way behind, but I've seen several Japanese players deliberately fall off, get plucked back off, and end up well ahead of everyone else. Just a word of warning if someone seems to keep inexcplicably getting ahead even though they should be dead last...

ROCKSTAR! ALL YOUR GAMES ARE BELONG TO JACK THOMPSON....NOT!

Recall Demanded

January 16, 2006

by: Matt Saunderson

Action will be taken against Take-Two unless The Warrors, Manhunt, and GTA are removed from stores by 5:00 P.M. on Tuesday.
Miami, Florida-based Attorney Jack Thompson has demanded that Take-Two Interactive announce a recall of all copies of The Warriors, Manhunt, and Grand Theft Auto (all versions, all platforms) from all retailers by 5:00 P.M. on Tuesday. The demand was issued in a letter to Take-Two CEO Paul Eibeler.

In the letter Thompson mentioned the beating of three homeless men in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida last week by two teenagers who may have been inspired by games featuring baseball bat beatings such as Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, and The Warriors. In the attacks, one victim was killed by the teenagers.

In the letter, Thompson stated the following:

Your company has made and distributed the most popular violent video game series of all time: the Grand Theft Auto games. In these GTA games, beating innocent people to death with baseball bats is a featured entertainment activity. our company has also distributed Manhunt which features the same kind of virtual reality baseball bat beatings. This game is so sociopathic that it has been banned from certain countries. Additionally, your company, during this past holiday buying season, launched the incredibly brutal "brawler" game called The Warriors, which also features death by baseball bat. The Warriors is based upon the 1979 movie of the same name that was yanked, in effect, by Paramount Pictures because of all the copycat violence it was spawning.

You also know, Mr. Eibeler, that huge numbers of academic, scientific, and medical studies prove that violent video games like this, when played by teens, lead to specific acts of teen violence. There are no studies that rebut these findings. You also know that your company has designed and marketed the aforementioned violent games for sale to minors. Your company even went so far as to embed explicit sex scenes in the GTA: San Andreas game which criminal deception resulted in a vote of 355-21 by the US House of Representatives to condemn your company's acts. That also garnered you the "Worst American CEO of 2005 Award" by MediaWatch.

Thompson has threatened to "proceed to secure appropriate remedies against" Take-Two if the games are not recalled by 5:00 PM tomorrow. Given Take-Two's past failures to stop the release of violent games, it is unlikely that they will follow Thompson's advice and recall any of the three games in question. We'll keep you updated.

source: Jack Thompson

Well seeing as it's now roughly 7:40 pm on the West Coast and there's been no breaking story, I'd say your BS bluff has been called Mr. Thompson. Jesus fucking christ, I gotta admire the guy's tenacity, but at some point someone has to sit him down and show him just how much of ass he's making of himself.

And Thompson's new favorite title. 25 to Life hits stores today, but judging by the rather harsh reviews, I daresay it'll be a flash in the pan at best, just like most other crappy "urban" titles

Did you miss the best 4 hours of television this weekend? Then do yourself and favor and find a good place to download the premiere of the 5th season of 24 so you can catch up for next week. I keep thinking they really can't keep the quality up, but it gets better every season, and you never see any of it coming.

In addition to my regularly highly acticiapted new Scrubs episodes tonight, I am also very interested to see Tom Cavanagh's new show, Love Monkey. Anything Tom does is pretty brilliant, I'm sure this show will be no different.

Word is Johnny Depp is being considered for the role of the Joker in the highly anticipated Batman Begins sequel. While Depp is an amazing performer, I just don't think he's right for the Joker. The Mad Hatter or the Riddler maybe, but I think Adrien Brody would make a far better choice, and his name has come up in previous casting rumors. Course, nobody can really touch Jack Nicholson's original portrayal, it'd be awesome if the could just cast him again, but I don't think he's physically capable of that kind of role anymore.

Ok finally, a new feature that I came up with over the weekend, FREE GAME OF THE Week: Fire Man-Incoming Storm: A very awesome clone of the old school Mega Man games.

More wacky Thompson antics

You know, you give somebody enough rope and they usually hang themselves, and how Jack Thompson can be taken seriously after his most recent antics is anybody's fucking guess.
In a recent inerview, Thompson compares himself to Eliot Ness, and then calls the industry itself worse than Al Capone, because they "target" children. Of course, because advertising to kids is far worse than mass murdering & racketeering...

Oh but there's more! 25 to Life, the latest GTA clone, hit stores next week, and Thompson is telling California authorities to not only seize all copies of the game, but also to destroy them, like any good book burning.

The penal code he mentions in the letter goes as follows: "Any person may abate a public nuisance which is specially injurious to him by removing, or, if necessary, destroying the thing which constitutes the same, without committing a breach of the peace, or doing unnecessary injury."
Under Thompson's interpretation, he could personally walk into a store and destroy these games since he considers them so dangerous to himself and the public at large, you know why he won't? Cause He's actually a fucking coward and a hypocrite and knows he will be called on his bullshit if he tries it.

Moving on to happier news, I did initially think after a few months I may not have much reason to hold onto my DS, with not a whole lot on the horizon but IGN has a great preview of one of my favorite game series coming to the system : WORMS!. Seriously, if this game isn't Wifi when it comes out, Nintendo needs to pull its head out of its ass. It's bad enough that Bomberman is available for the system and doesn't support it. Then again it goes hand in hand with Nintendo giving half-assed support to all of their potentially cool add-ons.

Despite the fact the Uwe Boll's latest tour de force, Bloodrayne, amassed a whopping 1.5 (and that's being optimistic) million opening weekend, he just keeps chugging along. Word is he is currently reading through the script for the Metal Gear Solid movie in the works and is on the list of potential directors. Now, I'll grant you that the dialogue and acting in a MGS game is actually probably on par with any of Boll's films, but that doesn't mean he should do a film adaptattion of it....

And finally some quick earlu summations of this weekend's releases:

Glory Road: Have you seen ANY sports film ever? Then you've seen this.

Tristan & Isolode: Is it a bad sign that every time I've seen the trailer for this "tearjerking" period love story, I laughed my ass off?

Last Holiday: I'll admit, when I saw the initial previews, I was ready to right this seemingly hokey comedy off as pure trash, but it's getting a fair amount of solid reviews, so I won't go right out and say skip it, but I'll probably wait for video all the same.

That's it for today, I will definitely update these weekend as there are at least a couple other things that have happened this week I want to get into.

Wifi Madness

So I did pick up the Nintendo Wifi adapter today and while the setup was a tad frustrating, I was able to fully enjoy getting my ass whopped by some Brit across the pond in Mario Kart. Now I just have to figure out what other games to get to really take advantage of this (I swear I'd stay away from Animal Crossing after it sucked away over 6 months of my life on the Cube, but the new one for DS looks very tempting, and there's always Bomberman if it's got a solid amount of users...)

I've spent the last few days getting torrents of Scrubs seasons 3 & 4 on my computer(I will buy the DVDs once they are available) and it's really in my opinion the best show on TV. It manages to have complex characters and deftly handle great zany comedy and drama like no other show currently on TV. Which leads into my next subject-Why the hell isn't NBC putting this brilliant show in its highly promoted new Thursday night lineup? Nothing is wrong with putting both The Office and My Name is Earl in there, both brilliant comedies, and Four Kings shows potential, but if they don't move it when Will & Grace makes its long overdue exit this May, the execs are seriously smoking something.

Since there were no good movies this week, I checked out Hustle & Flow, which was a really amazing movie with great all around performances and I very highly reccomend that you check it out on Tuesday.

Finally, it seems that the real attraction for the 360 is Live Arcade, with all the great classics its offering with online play-Joust, Gauntlet and now Street Fighter II. If I do get one any time soon, I may just get the online arcade stuff rather than the mostly unimpressive overpriced selection they currently have.

You just don't hassle the Hoff!

Yeah, David Hasslehoff has nothing to do with my post, but I thought him actually sporting that shirt was a riot and far more interesting than this fairly dead week in entertainment.

CES-The Consumer Electronics show is going on right now, but probably the biggest news is the fact of no news on the PS3 from Sony. Although it's hardly the big event it used to be, CES is still the last major expo before Sony's suppossed spring launch, and there has not been word one about PS3. This is making a 2007 US launch seem all the more likely (although I'm willing to be they will rush it ot in time for the holidays, bugs and all).

Things have slowed to a crawl on the videogame release front as well-Dead or Alive 4 is pretty much the only noteworthy game out at the moment. All reports are that it's a very solid on-line fighter with stunning graphics, but I personally will probably be waiting for the next Virtua Fighter game before I jump back into the fighting genre (or Super Smash Bros. for the Revolution, whichever comes out first).

And once again, we are in the bleak winter months for movies. Hostel looks promising enough, with a stamp of approval by Tarantino, but that smells like just a bad publicity stunt. Gamers get their first movie in awhile in Grandma's Boy, which looks incredibly horrid with all the bad obvious jokes thrown in (like old people getting high, gee that's new...).

But of course the true cream of the crop is obviously going to be the latest from cinematic auteur Uwe Boll-Bloodrayne, which looks like it was shot in the local park with about $200 budgeted for effects. I know this guy exploits tax loopholes in order to get movies made, but how he keeps attracting anything other than E list talent (namely Ben Kingsley for this one) is beyond human comprehension.

Ok, that's it for today, I'll update again this weekend, hopefully.

I wanna know Japanese and I wanna know it now!

Why, you ask? Because those lucky bastards in Japan are playing Kingdom Hearts 2 right now. This is easily my most anitciapted game of the last few years, and to know that it's finally at least out in some form in a huge source of joy. But of course, that leaves the question of when the hell is it coming out here? Hopefully summer at the latest. I may be putting a lot more playtime into Kingdom Hearts now in preperation.

The only other thing of note is that it seems NBC has finally gotten a little smart with its schedule and is moving two of their best shows to its formerly unbeatable Thursday night-The Office and My Name Is Earl. Both Excellent shows and a wise decision. But of course NBC snubs the best show they have-Scrubs. This easily deserves a prime Thursday night slot along with the other shows. Hopefully when Will & Grace ends this season (which is long overdue, that show has been awful for years now), NBC will wise up and give that slot to Scrubs next season.

That's all for today, Happy new year!